A Better You

2012-01-25T18:45:00.000-06:00

"Without involvement, there is no commitment. Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it. No involvement, no commitment."
Stephen Covey
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Creative Ways to Be Your Own Best Valentine
© 2006 Julie Jordan Scott

Some of us didn't have our own "Valentines" this year. I told my children they were my Valentines but they didn't buy it!

It got me to thinking - probably the best way to insure a Happy Valentine's Day is to be your Own Best Valentine.

Here are some ideas to get you started -

Laugh, deep - from the belly - rent a comedy DVD, go to a bargain matinee, watch Comedy Central, hang out with a hilarious friend you rarely see, go to the park and watch little kids play.

Send a request to your friends asking them to write you a note showcasing the Top 3 Things that are cool about YOU.

Go get a manicure or pedicure, and bring a buddy along if you want to chat.

Go to a favorite outdoor spot with a book of poetry and spend at least 30 minutes reading aloud to yourself.

Take a long, sensual bath complete with scented oils (Jasmine and Vanilla are my favorites), candles and music.

Call an old friend out-of-the-blue.

Forgive someone who has hurt you

Flirt with someone, anyone - even simply your reflection in the mirror if no one else is appealing!

Give a heartfelt compliment to someone who would never expect it.

Ask your closest friend to do something outrageous for you.

Go to an art museum and get completely absorbed in a single painting or sculpture.

Bring your neighbors a small plant or flowers for no reason just so you can receive the enjoyment of watching their faces when you give it to them.

Invite someone out to lunch - and be sure to treat.

Go fortune hunting in a thrift store.

Make a Dream Collage.

Sign up for a "Just-for-fun" class - don't just talk about it - DO IT! (Note - this one changed my life!)

Go play on the swings at your closest park.

Send your parents flowers.

Have a "Gossip-Free" Day.

Take a nap.

Look at photos of yourself - really look - and check yourself out from a renewed perspective.

Buy a piece of clothing that is just a slight edge outside of your usual clothing selection and then wear it with elegance.

Give yourself a box of chocolates and then share it.

Make a list of what would make you feel especially good and do ONE every day... when you have done everything on your list, begin again.

Make each choice throughout your day a CONSCIOUS choice -

Sit and smile for 60 seconds every hour, making smiling a spiritual practice, so to speak. It will change your whole day with very little effort.

Be frivolous.

Create a painting or sculpt something.

Feed ducks at the nearest place ducks congregate.

Give yourself flowers.

Write yourself a love letter

Make a list entitled, "The Top 10 Things I Love About Me"

Finally - forgive someone - especially forgive YOURSELF....
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"Tell me, and I'll forget. Show me, and I'll remember. Involve me, and I'll learn."
Marla Jones
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Mountain of experience
You stand today at the top of a mountain. It is the mountain of your own experience. Through the years, you have forged ahead on its craggy pathways. Each day you've added valuable experience to your life and have climbed to an even higher perspective than the day before.

Along the way, you have found moments of peace and beauty in the green valleys and still forests. At other times, you have been challenged by the fierce storms and rocky ground as you made your way forward.

This is the moment that all the other moments have been leading up to. Now you stand at the summit on your mountain of experience, and the view is more expansive than it has ever been.

Never has your experience been as extensive or as valuable as it is right now. So what will you do with it all?

Now that you've climbed to the highest peak ever, choose to live a full and positive life, worthy of all you've already been through. Now that you've climbed so high, this is your moment to go even higher.

Ralph Marston
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"Good people are found not changed. Recently I read a headline that said, 'We don't teach people to be nice. We simply hire nice people.' Wow! What a clever short cut."
Jim Rohn

2011-12-09T20:50:00.000-06:00

"No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves."
Amelia Earhart
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A Little Boy and God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

~author unknown~
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"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
Samuel Clemens
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SUCCESS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT
by Brian Tracy

Success is not a miracle. Nor is it a matter of luck. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad, positive or negative. When you are absolutely clear about what you want, you only need to copy others who have achieved it before you, and you will eventually get the same results that they have.

This is referred to in the Bible as the Law of Sowing and Reaping which says that, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that also shall he reap."

Sir Isaac Newton called it the third principle of motion. He said, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

For you and me, the most important expression of this universal law is that, "Thoughts are causes and conditions are effects."

Put another way, "Thought is creative." Your thoughts are the primary creative forces in your life. You create your entire world by the way you think. All the people and situations of your life have only the meaning you give them by the way you think about them. And when you change your thinking, you change your life, some times in seconds!

The most important principle of personal or business success is simply this: You become what you think about most of the time.

It is not what happens to you but how you think about what happens to you that determines how you feel and react. It is not the world outside of you that dictates your circumstances or conditions. It is the world inside you that creates the conditions of your life.
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"You've achieved success in your field when you don’t know whether what you are doing is work or play."
Warren Beatty

2011-05-23T21:58:00.001-05:00

"By focusing on positive, healthy motivations and letting the more negative ones pass, you can purify the source of you imaginative power."
Denis Waitley
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Heeeeeere's JOHNNY!
By Ron White

One of my fondest childhood memories is watching The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. When I was seven years old, I would get a tape recorder and put it against the television and record Johnny's monologue. I remember running into my parent's room because I wanted my mom to come and listen to the 'funny man.' When she walked into the living room, she did laugh. However, it was not at Johnny Carson - instead she laughed that her seven year old son was convinced he had discovered Johnny before anyone else in the family!

Perhaps it should be of no surprise that, decades later, I make my living delivering monologues, much like my childhood mentor. Although, I am a keynote speaker and not a comedian, I did originally try to be a comedian...but everyone just laughed at me! :-)

As I listened to Johnny's friends after he passed away, they all talked about what people from age 7 to 97 loved about him. Do you know what they said? They said that he:

- Let others talk (In other words Johnny was the star by not always manipulating the spotlight to himself. He let others shine.)

- Listened (Not only did he let others talk, he also listened!)

- Made jokes but never at the expense of his guests.

- Saw the value in bringing the common man on his show.

- Wanted to see others succeed.

- Was almost funnier when his jokes bombed because he just rolled with it.

Johnny Carson understood that if his guests were successful and funny that made him a star. He spent his interviews letting others have the spotlight.

Here is the life lesson:

Understand what I call the 'Carson Principle.' This principle says that if you want to make your life successful then make those around you successful.

Spend time to listen to the least among you. The 'Carson Principle' also goes on to say that if you spend your efforts to draw attention to yourself it will actually backfire and focusing on others will catapult you to success. This may not be monetary success but it will surely mean relational success. Finally, the 'Carson Principle' says that it is okay to fail and don't take your failures too seriously.

Mr. Carson, I still have your decades old monologues on cassette tape. Although I was not aware of it at a young age, you taught me a lot about life and success. Thank you and I bid you a heartfelt farewell.

Goodnight Johnny...
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"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing that's why we recommend it daily."
Zig Ziglar
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Your direction

It may take months, years or even decades to get where you want to go. Yet you can begin moving toward that goal in an instant. You are where you are right now, and nothing will change the path you've already traveled. Yet you can most certainly and most completely change where you are going.

Choose to follow a positive direction, and whatever your current situation may be, it is instantly and significantly improved. Once your focus is on creating a positive reality for your world, that reality begins to take shape.

Though the challenges ahead may be many, they are no match for the power of your intention. To activate that power right now, point yourself in a positive direction.

The next step you take is yours to decide. And whatever that next step may be, it is the step that will determine your direction.

At any time, no matter what the situation, your direction is yours to choose, and becomes real the instant you act on it. Make your direction a positive, fulfilling one, right now, and always.

Ralph Marston
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"You don't have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals."
Edmund Hillary

2011-05-13T21:05:00.000-05:00

"The next time it begins to rain... lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog's-eye view of how raindrops fall... The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world."
Malcolm Margolin
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Instructions For Life
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Follow the three R's:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone.
Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
18.Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
author unknown
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"The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of its melodies, and sparkle in its brightness."
Percival
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What you choose
You can make it happen when you truly choose to do so. You always have, and you always will. If something is important enough to you, you'll surely find a way. Look back on your life up to this point, and you'll see a manifestation of what you've cared most about.

Now take a look at what you care most about in this very moment. Those are the things you will give your energy and attention to, and those are the things that will surely happen for you.

You are plenty capable of pushing yourself relentlessly toward what you choose. For you do it every day and you've had a lifetime of practice.

The big question is this. What exactly do you choose?

Whatever it is, whatever you truly care about in your heart of hearts, you'll find a way to make it real. With that in mind, always choose the very best you can imagine.

Ralph Marston
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"The only way to live is to accept each minute as an unrepeatable miracle, which is exactly what it is - a miracle and unrepeatable."
Margaret Storm Jameson

2011-03-19T22:43:00.000-05:00

"The ability to adapt is everything!"
Denis Waitley
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Singing Is...
2005 Julie Jordan Scott

"Singing is like praying twice"

The "Real" Maria Von Trapp

There is something sacred in experiencing the lush sweetness of a heart-filled voice traveling up and down a string of pearl-like-notes, simultaneously filling the body and being birthed from the body.

When we sing, we take the words and notes of a scribe and fill the words with our soul..

Maria Von Trapp got it right. Singing IS like praying twice.

It is like communion, it is like love-making, it is like a couple, dancing across the stage as they effortlessly connect on a soul level. Singing is like the delicate awakening of chiarascuoro of the heart.

Yes, "Singing is like praying twice."

When we sing we breathe in, deeply - and when we are conscious singers - our breath is deliberate, treated with utmost care. What happens to your body when you take a deep breath?

It expands - it fills - it signifies plenty.

As the singer, you can do anything you want with your song - you can make it loud and intense or make your song small and equally intense.. You can make it more airy and filled with pockets of breath or you can fill it with your very essence so that its punch is more powerful than steel.

You may choose to sing-pray when you are delighted and you may choose to sing-pray when you are devastated. You may sing-pray as a beginning or invocation and you may sing-pray as a moment of closure or benediction.

I remember reading of famed opera singer Maria Callas who shared that we sing when words alone, without music, can't communicate meaning adequately. It needs to be amplified - which is what happens when we sing-pray.

Yes, Yes, Yes.

"Singing is like praying twice"
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"You can't think your way into acting positively, but you can act your way into thinking positively."
Nido Qubein
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Needless needs

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, by making the most of this moment. If you feel any fear or apprehension, learn what it has to teach you and then move on beyond it. Much of what holds you back is based on your fear of losing something or your desire to acquire something you do not really need. Let go of your need to need so much, and abundance will flow in to fill the space those needs are now using.

The needs you've devised for yourself can be very comfortable. And yet their comfort keeps you confined in a narrow, limited corner of life.

Choose to break free of the needs that you don't really need. Choose to let go of the cravings, obsessions, habits, worries and anxieties that do nothing but hold you back.

Remember that you're capable of quickly learning, adapting and thriving in new and different situations. There is a world of boundless opportunity just a few steps outside your comfort zone.

When you find yourself feeling that you need something, stop, step back and ask yourself if you really do. The more of those needless needs you can leave behind, the faster ahead you will go.

Ralph Marston
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"Children have more need of models than of critics."
Carolyn Coats

2010-10-16T23:55:00.000-05:00

"Challenge everything you do. Expand your thinking. Refocus your efforts. Rededicate yourself to your future."
Patricia Fripp
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Gratitude

the mess to clean up after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.

the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

all the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

that lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.

the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.

the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

my huge heating bill because it means that I am warm.

weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means that I have been productive.

the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive.

~author unknown~
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"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances."
Thomas Jefferson
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Changing and steady
For life to move forward, some things must change. For life to have meaning, some things must endure. It is good to embrace change, because growth, progress and value creation are impossible without it. At the same time, it is wise to be wary and careful with change, for a solid, steady foundation contributes greatly to life.

In fact, new and valuable changes are made possible by the very fact that some things do not change. When the ground beneath your feet holds steady, you can reliably build many new and useful things upon it.

Make the most of the opportunities to change, to grow, to improve, and to move forward into new territory. At the same time, protect and preserve the fundamental, enabling values upon which your life is built.

A successful, fulfilled life is at the same time changing and steady. Understanding what must change and what must not is a key life skill, one that is well worth the time and trouble to develop.

Be ever willing to change some things in life while being reliably able to hold firm in other things. It is a powerful combination that will take you far.
Ralph Marston
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"With more success, comes greater problems along with greater ability to solve them."
Mark Victor Hansen

2010-10-08T20:36:00.000-05:00

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.
Margaret Fuller
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Connect to purpose
Having a purpose in life is a lot of work. It is also an absolute necessity. It is tempting to run from, hide from or avoid purpose, because real purpose brings with it the possibility for discomfort, disappointment and even tragedy. Yet the far greater tragedy is a life with no purpose at all.

Life without purpose is misery, even if you are surrounded with every material comfort and pleasure imaginable. Life with purpose is sweet and fulfilling, even when there is much difficulty and challenge.

Where there is purpose, there is energy. Actions directed toward a compelling purpose will create a powerful momentum that lines up events and circumstances in your favor.

Purpose gives you a reason to get going each day and strengthens your determination to persist when the going gets tough. Purpose pushes you firmly toward your highest level of accomplishment.

Connect, and continually re-connect yourself with a meaningful purpose. And that purpose will connect you with the best of life's treasures.

Ralph Marston
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In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.
John Ruskin
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For All Of Us In A Hurry

Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often? When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but only partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand. Bob? Bob from church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket.

A Christian cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow. Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a man he'd never seen in uniform.

"Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this."

"Hello, Jack." No smile.

"Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids."

"Yeah, I guess." Bob seemed uncertain. Good.

"I've seen some long days at the office lately. I'm afraid I bent the rules a bit - just this once." Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement. "Diane said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean. I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct."

Ouch! This was not going in the right direction. Time to change tactics. "What'd you clock me at?"

"Seventy-one. Would you sit back in your car, please?"

"Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as I saw you. I was barely nudging 65." The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket.

"Please, Jack, in the car."

Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in no rush to open the window. The minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad. Why hadn't he asked for a driver's license? Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays before Jack ever sat near this cop again.

A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a folded paper in hand. Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.

"Thanks." Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice. Bob returned to his car without a word. Jack watched his retreat in the mirror. He unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was this? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.

Jack began to read:

"Dear Jack, Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it - a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters. All three of them. I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until heaven before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me. And be careful. My son is all I have left. Bob"

Jack twisted around in time to see Bob's car pull away and head down the road. Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he, too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.

Life is precious. Handle with care.
~author unknown~
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The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
Abraham Lincoln

2010-09-20T10:34:00.000-05:00

"We need someone to believe in us -- if we do well, we want our work commended, our faith corroborated. The individual who thinks well of you, who keeps his mind on your good qualities, and does not look for your flaws, is your friend. Who is my brother? I'll tell you: he is the one who recognizes the good in me."
Elbert Hubbard
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EXPERIENCE LIFE - THROW OUT THE THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE YOU
by Mark Victor Hansen

Everyone has a past – both good and not so good. Everyone has personal "stuff" they have gone through that has helped to create the person they are today.

And while you can be grateful for your life experiences, you don't need to hang on to the "stuff" – the emotional, mental and spiritual pains you have experienced - that brought you to this point.

Sometimes the "stuff" stays with us longer than we need it to. It sticks to us like invisible sticky notes. Your parent's divorce – it's on a yellow square stuck to your stomach. That high school sweetheart who broke up with you before prom – it's a fluorescent green sticky note over your heart. Your 4th grade teacher who called you "stupid" when you answered a question incorrectly – it's written in all caps on a purple note, stuck on your throat.

Say – as a protection device, etc. But, at the same time these things have prevented you from living your life to the fullest, from experiencing everything deeply.

The day has come to take off the training wheels. It's time to live life without a safety net.

You become what you affirm: positively affirm your greatness, genius and fullest potential.
Mark Victor Hansen
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"The only thing that you can never have too much of is love."
Brian Tracy
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Connected
You are alive in this moment. And you are connected to all of life. You cannot take undue advantage of others without also hurting yourself in some way. You cannot help others without also lifting up your own life.

The connection is strong and impossible to break. When you give your best to life each day, you experience the best that life has to offer.

When you think and act respectfully, you are respected. When you offer real, unconditional love, you are loved.

When making your choices in each moment about what to say, what to do, what to value, what to discard and what to work for, remember this. You are connected to it all.

Value, appreciate, honor and make the most of that connection. What is good for all of life is very good for you.

Ralph Marston
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"Love is an attachment to something or someone that eventually welds itself to the heart..."
Doug Firebaugh

2010-09-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

"Don't tell people how to live, demonstrate by example."
Denis Waitley
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"Attention Health Club Shoppers"

People often ask if I ever worry about running out of story ideas for our wwi ezine. At first I was definitely concerned. However, the longer the publication was in existence, the more I saw that too many things happen in daily life to ever run out of examples (both good and not-so-good), and lessons.

For example, the following took place months ago while on the road speaking. I decided to visit a local health club since the hotel where I was staying didn't have the equipment I needed. The gym I visited was very nice, with modern equipment and a bunch of nice people.

When I was about ten minutes into the treadmill, an announcement came over the loudspeaker. The message had a somewhat - no, actually, it had a very - condescending tone. And the words weren't much better:

"Members, please show common courtesy by not staying on the cardio machines for more than 30 minutes at a time when there are people waiting. It's very rude to keep other members waiting."

Now, it was obvious to my observing eyes and ears that this immediately rankled many of those in the gym; not the least of those being the ones presently working out on the cardio machines (except for me, of course, who knew I now had a good article idea for a future issue of wwi) :-).

Let's do a quick dissection:

#1 Did the club employee who made the announcement have a valid point? Sure, the 30 minute time limit is very practical and, according to others, well-accepted by all. And, if some people were not honoring that, an announcement would need to be made. And, a public announcement would, in fact, be quite appropriate in this case as a good reminder.

#2 At the time of the announcement, however, the cardio machines were only at about 50 percent capacity, which made the members (cardio machine users and otherwise) a bit curious regarding the timing. Judging by the sarcastic laughter and shaking of heads, a bit perturbed by such, as well.

#3 Both the tone and the wording of the announcement were very negative and insulting, as though those being addressed were a bunch of irresponsible children; not paying members who support the operation of the facility with their consumer dollars (and had choices of other health clubs which they could patronize).

Now, how could the announcement have been more effectively worded and delivered? Well, those of you who've been wwi subscribers for a while now could probably do that quite easily. As a thought, however, how about...

"Attention members. Good morning. As always, we're glad to have you with us, and it's inspiring to see you working out so hard. Congratulations on your effort. An important point to bring up in order that all of you are assured an excellent (Name of Facility) workout experience. During those times when the cardio machines are at capacity, please be sure and not stay on more than 30 minutes. This will ensure that none of you will ever have to wait too long and you can get your workout in at your convenience. Thank you for your attention, and for being a member of (Name of Facility). Have a great workout!"

The above message sets a very positive "matrix" and dramatically increases the odds that the message will not only be appreciated, but adhered to. There's even a "W.I.I.F.M." ("What's in it for me?) element for those listening; "If I respect this rule, I won't ever get stuck waiting too long for one of the machines."

Same intent as the first message; most likely, much different results.

A good wwi practice exercise is to, from now on, when hearing someone say something in a way similar to the employee announcer, simply ask yourself how the message could be made much more digestible and effective. The more you practice when you don't need to know, the better at it you'll be when you *do* need to know.

Bob Burg
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"See and think of yourself as a leader and then do what leaders do. Dare to go forward."
Brian Tracy
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KNOW YOUR INNATE, NATURAL TALENTS by Lisa Jimenez, M. Ed.

You have all you need to make your life work. Look to your natural talents to guide you in life. You know, those things you do so well that you don't even have to think about it. It is those abilities that come naturally to you that will help you build your confidence in other areas of your life. Begin with your strengths! Too many times people focus on what they need to work on – their weaknesses. And get burned out. How much better it is to begin with your talent. Your God-given talents can give you the courage to bridge over to the areas you need work on.

Do you even know your innate talents? Can you name seven of them in less than a minute? Try it. Take a minute right now to list seven innate abilities you have.

I bet if I asked you to name seven things about you that you need to improve, you would come up with all seven in seconds! What's wrong with this picture?

Rethink how you think! Okay. Now, write down seven one-word positives about you. What are you just naturally good at?

Are you using those talents every day – in work, at home, in your relationships? If not, why not? You are missing out on a powerful process of building courage, cultivating faith and conquering fear!

Know Your Innate, Natural Talents and Use Them Every Day!

Have a great day! Lisa Jimenez M.Ed.
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"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader."
John Quincy Adams

2010-08-23T23:04:00.001-05:00

"The secret of joy is contained in one word--excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. "
Pearl S. Buck
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LIFE WOULD BE EASY...IF IT WEREN'T FOR NON-ASSERTIVE PEOPLE
by Connie Podesta

All right. You're tired of playing their game. You finally realize that those difficult people in your life are not going to change just because you want them to be different. You've decided to refuse to play your part in the dysfunctional relationship(s) by choosing to be assertive. Now what?

Healthy communication is the ability to let others know your needs, concerns and feelings in an open and honest way without gimmicks, threats, manipulation or hidden agendas. There's no doubt that the assertive communication style is the only way to effectively deal with the difficult people in our lives.

The Assertive Personality - Open, Honest and Direct

When we are assertive we choose to handle ourselves, our reactions, our relationships, and stressful situations in a healthy, responsible, and non-manipulative manner. We understand that we have choices. Remember that you will be treated exactly as you feel you deserve to be treated.

Communication is a learned skill. We must model assertive communication to our children so they can learn to handle conflict and sustain healthy relationships. Assertive people ask questions, seek answers, look at all points of view, and engage in meaningful, open-ended dialogue without anger, hurt feelings or defensiveness. Does that sound like the typical exchange today?

We see examples of non-assertive communication everyday (media, talk shows, news, politics, etc.). In fact most problem-solving models are not effective in the long run. For example, if two employees cannot seem to work together, they're rescheduled or reassigned to different shifts, floors or departments to avoid having them work together. The message is clear: do not confront, mediate, or learn to communicate; simply separate and avoid the problem. Is it any wonder that the divorce rate is so high?

Our children are encouraged to be passive. When children ask "Why?", they're often given the pat response, "Because I'm your parent (or teacher) and I said so!" There are times when a child needs to immediately follow direct instructions; but there are many missed opportunities for our children to learn to respectfully participate in discussions that affect their lives.

Take Charge!

Regardless of our diverse histories, each of us is responsible for our present behavior. If we want to neutralize difficult people, we must commit to communicating assertively. Warning! Difficult people will not like being treated assertively - at first.

Difficult people only respect people who have the confidence to stand up for themselves. Assertiveness is their biggest enemy. It signals that you have figured them out and will no longer be swayed by their manipulations. Things may get worse before they get better!

Be prepared for some trying times with the difficult person when you first become assertive. For instance, asserting yourself with an employer who is used to your working overtime, missing lunch, accepting angry criticism and attacks, may earn you the label of an insubordinate. Likewise, asserting yourself with a parent who has become comfortable with your total compliance and willingness to let guilt cause you to give in may cause them to declare, "You don't love me anymore." Unfortunately, there is no 'quick fix'.

It's up to you...

Self-respect is the true key to developing and maintaining healthy relationships. Our relationships with others mirror our relationship with ourselves. Self-esteem develops when we consistently strive to make healthy, fair and ethical choices.

It is true that if you demand respect and become more assertive the relationship might end. But, it is not quitting to have the courage and self-respect to sever an abusive or addictive relationship. Sometimes being assertive is about knowing when it is imperative to our well-being and self-respect to disengage.

Assertiveness is more than just words. You must have a belief in yourself that radiates through your voice, gestures, tone, attitude, and body language that says, "I am a worthy person and I will be treated respectfully."

Self-respect is where assertiveness begins and manipulation ends.

Take Action!

Look closely at the times your family or friends are assertive. How do you react? Doesn't it feel good to be with someone who is upfront, honest and cooperative?

Think about the times when you are not assertive. What other communication style(s) do you most often use? Does it work? Are you rewarded for your non-assertive behavior?

Try to be assertive at the times you might use another communication style. Do others react more positively toward you?
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If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.
Alex Noble
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TODAY IS YESTERDAY'S TOMORROW
by Jim Rohn

The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today. All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.

Each of us must pause frequently to remind ourselves that the clock is ticking. The same clock that began to tick from the moment we drew our first breath will also someday cease.

Time is the great equalizer of all mankind. It has taken away the best and the worst of us without regard for either. Time offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency.

When the game of life I finally over, there is no second chance to correct our errors. The clock that is ticking away the moments of our lives does not care about winners and losers. It does not care about who succeeds or who fails. It does not care about excuses, fairness or equality. The only essential issue is how we played the game.

Regardless of a person's current age, there is a sense of urgency that should drive them into action now - this very moment. We should be constantly aware of the value of each and every moment of our lives - moments that seem so insignificant that their loss often goes unnoticed.

We still have all the time we need. We still have lots of chances - lots of opportunities - lots of years to show what we can do. For most of us, there will be a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, and a next year. But unless we develop a sense of urgency, those brief windows of time will be sadly wasted, as were the weeks and months and years before them. There isn't an endless supply!

So as you think of your dreams and goals of your future tomorrow, begin today to take those very important first steps to making them all come to life.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
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Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity
Horace Mann

2010-08-10T12:05:00.000-05:00

The center of human nature is rooted in ten thousand ordinary acts of kindness that define our days.
Stephen Jay Gould
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17 WORDS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!
by Jerry Clark

I remember several years back I heard something that changed my life forever. Up until that point I had been struggling through life – doing everything the hard way. I couldn't figure out why my life wasn't going the way I felt it should be. I saw some people going through life effortlessly and seemingly with less tension and frustration while I was wondering if I could ever straighten out the mess my life had turned out to be. I was behind on my dreams, my promises, and my bills. Then one day I was listening to a tape and the lady was talking about the power of having dreams and goals and all of the other stuff that those motivational speakers talk about. By that point I had listened to hundreds of such tapes, but it seemed as if nothing worked for me. Probably the only reason I was listening to that one was because I had developed a habit of listening to cassette tapes while driving my car. The statement the lady said was simple and I think I had even heard it somewhere before but this time a light bulb went on in my head. I remember stopping the tape and rewinding it over and over again to hear the 17 words she said. I couldn't believe it was so basic and simple. I was looking for something sophisticated and complicated. I thought I had to attend a $10,000 seminar. I didn't know I could find it on a $10 tape program. I'm taking the time to tell you all of this preliminary information because when I tell you the 17 words, I really want you to get it and get it NOW! Because if you get it NOW, your life will never be the same. You will be using the same principle that all who have became wealthy before you have used.

Even those who became wealthy and can't tell you how they did use this same principle without even being aware of what they are doing. Well, are you ready for the 17 words that made a powerful and positive impact on my life and on the life of tens of thousands of individuals who have achieved unimaginable success? Of course you are... Well, here they are...

For things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. Yes, it's as simple as it sounds and as easy as it seems... Don't try to make it any complicated than this because it will only frustrate you. You must know exactly what you want and the more specific and clear you can get, the better. This is important because Human Beings are Teleological in nature... In other words, we move towards the pictures we constantly hold in our minds. Let me give you an example… Suppose you went to the store and bought a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle but it didn't have a picture on the box of what the end result should look like. Would you have a much harder time putting the picture together? Of course. You may eventually figure it out; however, the person who has a clear picture of what the end result should look like will be more than 100 times ahead of you. The question is are they 100 times ahead of you because their IQ is 100 times greater? Is it because they are 100 times better looking than you? Maybe it's because they live 100 times closer to the person who created the puzzle? Ohh, I know – they were one of the first students to take the Evelyn Woods mind-expanding speed-reading and comprehension course right? If none of this is true then what it?

Yes, the person who had the clear and specific picture of what the outcome was supposed to be was simply operating in accordance to how our brain works. It moves towards the pictures we hold in our mind. It's interesting because once you know exactly what it is you are moving towards, you seem to automatically know the steps to take or the necessary steps will soon become noticeable. Your brain, operating similar to a magnet, will start to attract in your direction the conditions, people, and circumstances that will help you move closer to the mental picture you maintain in your mind and it will repel all of those things that do not correlate to the picture you have in your mind. Therefore, the people who are clear and specific about what they want are using the powers of the Universe to assist them. This is, indeed, an awesome power. A person who knows how and uses this awesome power of the Universe to his or her advantage is a person who is working smart. A person who struggles every day trying to move closer to the success that they have no idea how it's supposed to look is a person who is working hard.

Based on your observations over the years, do you think that most people are working hard or working smart? People who just work hard day in and day out without a clear picture of what they are moving towards are about as exciting as a tulip. Even though they may seem to be willing to work hard and put in the hours, they don't seem to have much life in them. And people want to follow people who seem to have some life in them. If they want to find people who don't seem to have much life in them, all they have to do is go to their job. People will follow people who look like they know where they are going and looks like they are excited about the journey.

You must understand that your strength comes from knowing what you want. This will ignite the fire inside of you and enable you to borrow from the promise of the future so you can engage in the activities today that will move you closer and closer to what you want. It will enable you to go through the trials and tribulations that may be necessary so you can arrive at your destination. But remember the journey will be more important than the destination because in the journey you will become the person you require to become to finally arrive at your destination. So when you reach your destination, look at the person you have become and set a new destination so you can continue to grow and develop.

Whatever you do, just always remember that for things to change, you must get a picture of what you want them to change to. These are the 17 Words that Changed My Life Forever... Why not allow them to change yours too...

Until Next time...

Go, Go, Go!!!
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"When you forgive, you in no way change the past -- but you sure do change the future."
Bernard Meltzer
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Gotta Watch the Fish Eat
By Cheryl Kirking

I did something very daring today. I said, "No." I was at a meeting where I was asked to serve on a committee that would require numerous Thursday evening meetings. And I said, "No."
I declined politely, even graciously, but it wasn't enough. The others just looked at me, waiting. Three long seconds, four, five. Waiting, waiting for my important excuse. They couldn't move on until I had explained my answer.
"You see," I continued, "I really want to be home to tuck the kids in bed at night." Most of the others around the table nodded in understanding. "Well," the chairperson offered, "we can make sure we're done by eight-thirty, so you can be home in time to tuck the kids in." The others murmured in affirmation, and turned back to me, expectantly, waiting for my response.
"Well," I explained, "that's right when we are watching the fish eat." The others weren't impressed. "You see," I continued, "on Thursdays, after I've quizzed the children for Friday's spelling tests, we watch the fish. It's just an important time in our family's week. It seems to set the tone for the next day, and when I'm gone on Thursday nights, Fridays just don't go as well." My words sounded rather weak and almost silly as they tumbled out. No one said, "Oh, of course, Cheryl, we understand!" They were still waiting.
Now, I could have added, "But, you see, I've got a book manuscript due to the publisher in two months that I have got to work on." That would have been sufficiently important. After all, that's my career. They would have nodded in understanding, and quickly moved on. But the truth is, I'm not writing between 7:30 and 8:30 p.m. on Thursday evenings. I'm being Mom. I'm reviewing spelling words for Friday's tests. I'm checking math answers. I'm making sure permission notes are signed, book reports are written and weekly assignments completed. And when school work is done, and the children have brushed their teeth and gotten into their PJs, the family gathers on the couch in front of the aquarium to watch the fish eat. We feed the fish every night, of course. But on Thursdays we make an effort to sit together as a family and watch them. This is when I heard about Blake's plans to be a paleontologist. It's when I learned about how Bryce handled the bully on the playground. This is when Sarah Jean explained why she doesn't want to wear bows in her hair anymore.
The committee members were still looking at me. Feeling guilty, I almost changed my mind to say, "Okay, I'll do it." But I didn't. Because my reason for saying no is important. On Thursday evenings, we watch the fish eat.
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"The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift."
Pierre Corneille

2010-08-05T00:10:00.000-05:00

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.
Helen Keller
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BE COMMITTED TO KEEPING YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE IN BALANCE
by Denis Waitley

It is so important to be living in prime time, rather than watching TV in prime time. On your way to success make certain you grow friendships, not just bank and mutual fund accounts. Life is a collection of memories, not of material things. The Egyptian pharaohs were buried with all their treasures, and were mummified in hopes that they could enjoy their bounty in the next life. But we are only caretakers of possessions. There is a big difference between standard of living and quality of life. Standard of living is based on income earned. Quality of life is the enjoyment of the millions of minutes in between accomplishments.

Having money is only one aspect of wealth. To the sick person, wealth is health. To the lonely person, wealth is someone to talk to and share with. To the estranged person, wealth is hearing words of love and forgiveness.

Borrowing the free verse style from Brother Jeremiah's classic poem, I'd Pick More Daisies, here are a few things I'd do, the second time around.

I'd laugh at my misfortunes more. Spend more time counting my blessings than my blemishes. Spend more time playing with my children and grandchildren and less time watching performers in the arena. More time enjoying what I have, less time thinking about the things I don't have. If I could live my life again, I'd walk in the rain more without an umbrella and listen less to weather reports. I'd spend more time looking at trees and climbing them, less time flipping through magazines made from dead trees. I'd spend more time fully involved in the present moment, less time remembering and anticipating. I'd smile more, frown less.

And most of all I'd be more spontaneous and active, less hesitant and subdued. When some spur of the moment idea came up to go hiking, playing Frisbee, coloring Easter eggs, singing in a chorus, going kayaking, or watching an eclipse, I'd be less likely to sit in my chair objecting, "It's not in our plan."

I'd be inclined to jump up and run out the door next time and say, "Yes, we can!" Although I can't live my life again, I'm still going to live the new way every day any way. I'll never have all the moments I've missed, but I do have all the time remaining.

Action Idea – Choose one activity this month that you really want to engage in, but that you have been putting off because it isn't a priority. Schedule that activity in your planner, as if it were a "must do" business or financial commitment. When you have done it, while you are still feeling good, schedule one for next month, and do it as long as you live.
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We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.
Marian Wright Edelman
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Maintaining determination

With enough determination, no goal is out of reach. Determination carries you past seemingly insurmountable obstacles and makes things real that were once considered impossible. So how do you create and maintain sufficient determination to take you where you want to go? How do you keep the power of determination working for you?

To maintain your determination, you simply must remember it. For as powerful as your determination can be, it is nothing more than a concept in your mind.

As long as you can keep that concept of determination at the front of your mind, it will work for you. As long as you can remember, with passion and with clarity, the what, why and how of your determination, it will carry you forward.

When the challenges come, remember that you are determined and you will be. Though your determination won't solve your problems for you, it can keep you going long enough for you to solve them yourself.

What things in your life do you truly wish to change, to improve, to create, to accomplish, and why? Sincerely answer that question, and you'll discover plenty of determination within yourself.

Keep that determination in mind as each moment goes by, and you'll accomplish whatever you choose to accomplish.

Ralph Marston
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"Real-izing our goals, allows us to realize our goals."
Kevin Eikenberry

2010-07-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Dr. Leo Buscaglia
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A Note in My Mailbox
By Ron Wenn and Nancy J. Cavanaugh

The note I picked up from my mailbox at school read, "Call Margaret at 555-6167." Both the name and number were unfamiliar to me, but as a high-school automotive instructor, I got calls all the time from people who were looking for someone to fix their cars. During my lunchtime at school that day, I dialed the number.
"I'm calling for a Margaret," I said.
"Yes, this is Margaret," a voice answered.
"This is Ron Wenn. I have a message here that says to call you," I continued, all the while wondering what kind of car trouble this woman had.
"Oh, I'm glad you called. If you'll just give me a few minutes of your time, I have something to tell you that I think you'll be interested in hearing."
"All right," I answered looking at the clock. I only had a few minutes before I needed to be back in class.
"I'm a nurse at St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital, and yesterday on my way home from work I was driving down 290 when my car started acting up."
"Uh huh," I said looking at the clock again.
"It was late at night, and I was alone. I was so afraid to pull over, but finally my car just quit, so I coasted to the shoulder. I sat there for a few minutes wondering what to do."
I didn't want to sound impatient, but I really needed to get back to class. "Would you like me to take a look at your car, ma'am?" I asked.
"Just let me finish," the woman answered.
I tapped my pencil on the stack of papers in front of me as Margaret continued her story. "Suddenly, two young guys, about twenty years old, pulled up behind me and got out. I didn't know what these guys were going to do. I was so scared.
"They asked me what happened, and they said that from the sound of things that they might be able to get the car running again, so I popped the hood.
"I sat in the car praying that these guys weren't up to no good. A few minutes later, they yelled at me to try to start the car. I couldn't believe it! It started right up! The guys slammed the hood and told me the car would be fine but that I should take it somewhere soon and get it checked out."
"And you'd like me to take a look at it and make sure everything's okay, right?" I asked.
"No, not at all, just listen," the woman went on. "I was so grateful. I thanked them over and over and offered them money, but they wouldn't take it. That's when they told me they were former students of yours."
"What?" I asked in surprise. "Students of mine? Who were they?"
"They wouldn't tell me. They just gave me your name and the school's number and made me promise to call to thank you."
I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to say. Besides teaching my students about fixing cars, I always tried to teach them things about life - about going the extra mile, being honest and using what you know to help other people. The thing is I never really knew if the students learned any of this.
"Mr. Wenn, are you still there?" Margaret asked.
"I'm still here," I answered.
"Well, I hope you know how grateful I am," Margaret said.
"I hope you know how grateful I am to you, Margaret. Thanks for calling," I said and hung up the phone.
I walked back to class feeling inspired with the knowledge that my students had helped someone because of what I taught them in my classroom. I had just gotten the greatest reward a teacher could ever get.
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"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
Edith Wharton
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Choice of feelings

You create your feelings and you are responsible for them. By controlling those feelings in a positive and purposeful way, you can profoundly change your life for the better. If you blame another person for your feelings, what you're really doing is giving that person control over an important part of your life. If you avoid taking responsibility for your feelings, those feelings can quickly overwhelm you and leave you powerless.

The way you feel can affect every corner of your life. By taking positive control of your feelings, you put yourself in a powerful and influential position in your world.

Keep in mind that every feeling you experience is a feeling you have chosen. Though much of what comes your way is beyond your control, the way you feel about it all is completely up to you.

If your life seems to be stuck, that's a sure sign that you're holding on to feelings that are no longer appropriate. Know that you can let those feelings go and be gloriously free to move quickly ahead.

Feelings are powerful and can bring much richness to life, and the power they have is the power you choose to give them. Choose your feelings wisely, and life will be rich indeed.

Ralph Marston
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"You will regret many things in life but you will never regret being too kind or too fair."
Brian Tracy

2010-06-03T23:47:00.000-05:00

"Most people are too busy living life to ever put life in their living..."
Doug Firebaugh
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THE FINANCIAL EQUATION THAT WILL SET YOU FREE!
by Chris Widener

I have a good friend who works in an area of the US that has more than its share of poverty. He called me the other day with a very broken heart. He was feeling badly for the people around him who simply do not allow themselves to get set free financially. I could feel the pain he was feeling because I too, very often wonder why it is that some people experience financial independence and others do not. It really is a mystery.

But how to get financial independence is not a mystery!

Rather, financial independence is a very simple thing. Truly! It is hard work and takes time, but the process is very simple! In fact, financial independence can come from following a very simple plan. All of the books on financial independence can ultimately be boiled down to this basic equation. It is an equation that is as simple as it gets. In fact, it isn't even a multiplication problem, it is an addition equation! And we all learned addition in the first grade! Just as 1 + 1 = 2, so does this POWERFUL yet SIMPLE equation add up to your financial independence!

What is this equation? Get ready, your life is about to change forever if you will allow yourself to understand and live by the simplicity of this equation. Here it is:

Smart Decisions + Good Math = Financial Independence

Let's break it down and take a closer look. First the Smart Decisions, then the Good Math.

Smart Decisions:

Go to college. Get educated. I know that somebody will say, "Yeah but most of the people on the Forbes 400 never went past high school." Well so did most of the people on the welfare line! Most people aren't Bill Gates or Sam Walton. Most people who earn between $100,000-$150,000 a year are college graduates. "But I'm forty! I can't go to college." Yes you can. You will be 44 when you get out and have 21 years of a much better income. The fact is that most good jobs and careers go to those who have educated themselves. It is still the surest way to a long-term large income. Still don't want to go to college? See the last item under smart decisions.

Get better training. At the very least go get some training in your specific area of expertise. The promotions will go to those who are the best trained, so become the best trained! Take a course, even if your employer won't pay for it, because eventually they WILL pay you for it!

Work hard. I have found that the many hundreds of high achievers who I know personally who have become and are becoming financially independent are hard workers. Every one of them works long hours. They sacrifice for the security they are shooting for and have attained. I know, we all get emails that say, "Financial Independence in 10 hours a week." Let me ask you, do you know anybody like that? I don't. No one. Even the success stories you here in the get rich quick industries show you that they worked HARD!

Develop yourself. Become a better person. Better people get better jobs and get paid better dollars! Make sure that every day you are becoming a person who is on the growth track, raising yourself to a higher and higher level with each and every passing day! Eventually your development will catch up with you and your income will soar!

Stay out of debt. This is the smartest decision you will ever make. NO Debt! You know what? I have ONE bill I have to pay every month. That is my mortgage. But that's a debt! Well, without getting into an argument, I consider it a forced investment with the added benefit of providing me and my family with shelter! I do not consider a mortgage a debt. I mean car debt, stereo debt, and consumer debt of all kinds. It is possible. It can be done. And it will provide you with financial freedom!

Own your own business if you can. So you don't want to go to college. Okay. Or maybe you did go to college and you just want to make sure that you make as much as you can. Well, the smart decision is to own your own business. Most millionaires in America are the people who own their own businesses. It will take a lot of risk, a lot of hard work, and many ups and downs, but owning your business gives you the opportunity to accumulate great wealth, because the profit is all yours. There are plenty of opportunities to own your own business and I would encourage you to strongly consider the alternative for many reasons, of the best of which is the opportunity to achieve financial independence.

Good Math:

Spend less than you earn. One plus one equals two. We learn that very early on. Eventually, we learn negatives and we learn that one minus two equals negative one. Simple right? Yet many people live their lives in such a way that they spend more than their income and destroy their opportunity for long-term financial independence. There are two things you can do to make this "good math" work for you. You can increase your income so that it outpaces your spending, or you can decrease your spending. You increase your income by making the smart decisions listed above. You decrease your spending by making hard choices. One of these must be done if you are going to achieve the kind of long-term financial independence you desire.

Put money away into investment vehicles on a regular basis. If you are going to achieve financial independence, you will have to put away money regularly. This is the math principle of addition. Don't laugh: most people don't get this. Or if they do, they don't practice it! Whether it is every paycheck, or the first of the month, or quarterly, or however you can do it - DO IT! When you hit 65 years of age, you will be glad you did. And if you put away enough and into the right investments, you may just be thankful a lot sooner than that!

Let your interest accrue. This is compounding and it is powerful! If you earn twelve percent on your money every year, do you know how soon it will be until you have twice as much as you started with? At first thought you may assume that it is one hundred divided by twelve, or eight and a third years. Not true. There is an investment rule that is called the rule of 72. That is, divide 72 by what average interest you make and that is how many years it takes to double your money. In this case, at twelve percent, your money doubles every six years! This works because you earn twelve percent on not only the original amount but the interest you earned as well. Start with $100 and the next year you have $112. If you take the $12 out then you will only make twelve percent on $100 again. If you let it accrue, you will make twelve percent on $112. This will cut almost two years off of the time it takes to double!

Where the real power comes in is over longer periods of time. Let's say grandma dies and leaves you $25,000 when you are eighteen. You can do any number of things with that money.

1. Buy a snazzy car. Not a good idea, though most eighteen year-olds would do just this.

2. Invest the money and take out the interest every year. This is nice. It throws you $3000 every year and over forty-two years you make $126,000 for doing nothing and you still have $25,000!

3. Here is the real deal! You leave the money alone for forty-two years at twelve percent (about the long-term average for the stock market). At the end of that time you decide to retire and go to the investment summary to see how much you have. What do you find? You find that your money doubled seven times and that leaves you with 3.2 million dollars! Can you retire on that? You bet you can.

You can achieve financial independence. You can live the life you have always dreamed of. You can have a life where you have enough at all times, especially in the end. It is possible. You just have to make smart decisions and use good math!

As a refresher, here they are again:

Smart decisions:

Go to college. Get better training. Work hard. Develop yourself. Stay out of debt. Own your own business if you can.

Good math:

Spend less than you earn. Put money away into investment vehicles on a regular basis. Let your interest accrue.
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"Sophistication and lifestyle is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures."
Jim Rohn
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McDonald's
By Shelly Miller

Most of my friends are what society would call "punks." We are the teenagers who hang out at the coffee shops or the movies for lack of anything better to do. But being punks doesn't mean much.
One evening, after a day of not doing much, we were sitting in McDonald's when a guy in our group whom I had just met that day walked in. Brian was the typical punk teenager, dressed in black with the dyed hair. Right before he stepped inside, he yelled something outside to a man walking down the street. I just hoped he wasn't trying to start trouble. He sat down and a minute later, a burly homeless man stuck his head in and looked at Brian.
"Did you say something to me?" the man demanded, and I thought I saw a mean glint in his eyes. I shrank back, thinking that if Brian had tried to pick a fight, this was the wrong guy to do it with. I had seen too many people and places kick teenagers like us out for pulling stuff.
While the rest of us were looking for a place to back into, Brian got up and walked up to him. "Yeah . . . would you like something to eat?"
The relief was almost audible, and the man smiled and walked in.
After a large meal of hamburgers, fries and dessert, the man left, and even the staff waved good-bye to him. When we asked Brian about it, he explained how he had money that he didn't need and the man had none, so it was only right.
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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln

2010-04-29T21:55:00.000-05:00

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that."
from The Harry Potter Movie
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"I Couldn't Justify..."

One question I'm often asked is, "How does one I turn down an offer when it isn't acceptable and, still not offend the person, closing down further dialogue?"

I always consider that to be a great question because it shows a desire to treat people right. It also shows understanding that the best way to get what you want is to make the other person feel good about themselves, as well as about you.

Have you ever witnessed a person saying, "That's my final offer - take it or leave it!"? If that's happened to you, did you "leave it" even if it was a decent offer? People do that because no one wants to be treated unkindly. Let's face it, the ego elicits the making of emotional decisions and, if insulted, people will often make decisions that aren't good for them.

And, even if they are in a position where they must accept now, they'll be tempted to somehow sabotage the arrangement and/or do what they can in the future to make life difficult for that person.

Some people, when refusing an offer, respond in a similar fashion. They might say, "There's no way I'll accept that. You
*must* give me 'such and such' or I'm walking." This then puts the other person in a situation where, if they agree, they have just "backed down" or "submitted."

On the other hand, we can very pleasantly turn down an offer while allowing that person to "save face" and still understand they need to come back with a better offer. For example:

Steve: This is the price for the widget, and delivery will be in two weeks.

You: Thank you Steve. I appreciate the offer. Unfortunately, at that price and the long delivery time, "I couldn't justify" making the purchase. But I DO appreciate the offer.

You've very kindly, politely and respectfully (which, in his mind, has just separated you positively from many others) said no, while leaving his self-esteem totally intact. People like Steve WANT to do business with people like you. Now, say nothing and see if Steve comes back with another offer or asks you what price/delivery time you were thinking. If, after a few seconds, he says nothing (and assuming you really want the widget enough to pursue this), simply say: "Steve, what can you offer that would help me to justify the decision to buy?"

He'll either come back with something better, or he won't. There's no guarantee he will. (Sometimes, it's a condition, not a choice, meaning that he has no room to negotiate further.) The choice will then be yours. However, what I CAN guarantee is that if you'll proceed with the "I couldn't justify..." response as opposed to a simple (or less than nice) "no", the odds of him going out of his way to make you happy will increase dramatically.

Bob Burg
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"The amount of satisfaction you get from life depends largely on your own ingenuity, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. People who wait around for life to supply their satisfaction usually find boredom instead."
Dr. William Menninger
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Something to Make Me Happy
By Sharon Palmer

I was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping in a toy store and decided to look at Barbie dolls for my nieces.
A nicely dressed little girl was excitedly looking through the Barbie dolls as well, with a roll of money clamped tightly in her little hand.
When she came upon a Barbie she liked, she would turn and ask her father if she had enough money to buy it. He usually said "yes," but she would keep looking and keep going through their ritual of "Do I have enough?"
As she was looking, a little boy wandered in across the aisle and started sorting through the Pokémon toys.
He was dressed neatly, but in clothes that were obviously rather worn, and wearing a jacket that was probably a couple of sizes too small. He, too, had money in his hand, but it looked to be no more than five dollars or so, at the most.
He was with his father as well, and kept picking up the Pokémon video games. Each time he picked one up and looked at his father, his father shook his head, "no."
The little girl had apparently chosen her Barbie, a beautifully dressed, glamorous doll that would have been the envy of every little girl on the block.
However, she had stopped and was watching the interchange between the little boy and his father. Rather dejectedly, the boy had given up on the video games and had chosen what looked like a book of stickers instead. He and his father then started walking through another aisle of the store.
The little girl put her Barbie back on the shelf, and ran over to the Pokémon games. She excitedly picked up one that was lying on top of the other toys, and raced toward the check-out, after speaking with her father.
I picked up my purchases and got in line behind them.
Then, much to the little girl's obvious delight, the little boy and his father got in line behind me.
After the toy was paid for and bagged, the little girl handed it back to the cashier and whispered something in her ear. The cashier smiled and put the package under the counter.
I paid for my purchases and was rearranging things in my purse when the little boy came up to the cashier. The cashier rang up his purchases and then said, "Congratulations, you are my hundredth customer today, and you win a prize!"
With that, she handed the little boy the Pokémon game, and he could only stare in disbelief.
It was, he said, exactly what he had wanted!
The little girl and her father had been standing at the doorway during all of this, and I saw the biggest, prettiest grin on that little girl that I have ever seen in my life. Then they walked out the door, and I followed, close behind them.
As I walked back to my car, in amazement over what I had just witnessed, I heard the father ask his daughter why she had done that. I'll never forget what she said to him.
"Daddy, didn't Nana and Paw Paw want me to buy something that would make me happy?"
He said, "Of course they did, Honey."
To which the little girl replied, "Well, I just did!"
With that, she giggled and started skipping toward their car. Apparently, she had decided on the answer to her own question of, "Do I have enough?"
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"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
Agatha Christie

2010-04-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
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A Typical Day
By Brian Totzke

As a high-school teacher, I have understandably become concerned not just about the future of our profession but the public perception of it as well. I decided recently, therefore, to take advantage of the so-called "spare" time that I have in my work day to take a leisurely stroll around the building and see for myself just what goes on outside my own classroom.
The first door I passed was that of a math teacher who was providing individual attention to a student who was quite obviously having some difficulty. The student's face said it all: frustration, confusion, quiet desperation. The teacher remained upbeat, offering support and encouragement.
"Let's try again, but we'll look at it from a slightly different point of view," she said and proceeded to erase the chalkboard in search of a better solution.
Further down the hall, I came across the doorway of one of our history teachers. As I paused to eavesdrop, I witnessed a large semicircle of enthusiastic students engaged in a lively debate regarding current Canadian events and issues. The teacher chose to take somewhat of a back-seat role, entering the fray only occasionally to pose a rhetorical question or to gently steer the conversation back toward the task at hand. They switched to role-playing and smaller groups of students chose to express the viewpoints of various provinces. The debate grew louder and more intense. The teacher smiled and stepped in to referee.
Passing the gym balcony, I looked down to see a physical education teacher working with a group of boys on a basketball passing drill.
"Pass and cut away!" he shouted. "Set a screen. Hit the open man."
Suddenly, there was a break in the action.
"Hold on, guys," he said. "Do you guys really understand why we're doing this drill?"
A mixture of blank stares and shrugged shoulders provided the answer, so he proceeded to take a deep breath and explain not only the purpose of the drill, but exactly how it fit into the grand scheme of offense and team play. A few nods of understanding and the group returned to its task with renewed vigor.
The next stop on my journey was the open door of a science lab where, again, a flurry of activity was taking place. I watched intently as a group of four students explained and demonstrated the nature and design of a scientific invention they had created. As they took turns regaling their small but attentive audience about the unique features of their project, a teacher was nearby, busy videotaping their entire presentation.
As I was leaving, I heard her say, "Okay, let's move the television over here and see how you did."
Finally, on the way back to my room, I couldn't help but investigate the low roar coming from down the hall. Music blaring, feet stomping, instructions straining to be heard above the din. Dancers of every shape and size were moving in seemingly random directions, although their various destinations were obviously quite well-rehearsed. Good things were happening here: hard work, sweat, intense concentration. And then, a mistake. One of the dancers offered an explanation, which led to a discussion among several of them. The dance teacher intervened and facilitated a resolution. A half-hearted plea by one of the students for a quick break fell on deaf ears.
"We'll have our break when we get this part right," she called out. A brief pep talk imploring them to push themselves just a little further seemed to create some new energy, and once again the place was hopping. "Now, from the top . . ."
My excursion complete, I returned to my corner of the school and reflected on what I had observed. Nothing surprising really. It was essentially what I had expected to find: goal-setting, problem-solving, teamwork, critical analysis, debate, discussion. In short, learning.
The only thing that you may have found surprising, but I didn't, was that when I began my journey, the regular school day had already ended an hour before.
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The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.
Albert Einstein
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OVERCOMING SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS
by Brian Tracy

The worst beliefs you can have are "Self limiting beliefs." These exist whenever you believe yourself to be limited in some way. For example, you may think yourself to be less talented or capable than others. You may think that others are superior to you in some way. You may have fallen into the common trap of selling yourself short and settling for far less than you are truly capable of.

These self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on your potential. They hold you back. They generate the two greatest enemies of personal success - doubt and fear. They paralyze you and cause you to hesitate to take the intelligent risks that are necessary for you to fulfill your true potential.

For you to progress, to move onward and upward in your life and your business, you must continually challenge your self-limiting beliefs. You must reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. You must accept as a basic principle that you are a 'no-limit' person, and that what others have done, you can do as well.

When I was a young man, coming from a difficult upbringing, I fell into the mental trap of concluding that because other people were doing better than I was, they must be better or smarter than I was. I accidentally concluded that they were worth more than I was. I must therefore be worth less. This false belief held me back for years.

The fact is that no one is better than you are and no one is smarter than you are. If they are doing better, it is largely because they have developed their natural talents and abilities more than you have. They have learned the laws of cause and effect that apply to their lives and work before you have. And anything anyone else has done, within reason, you can probably do as well. You just need to learn how.
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The best portion of a good man's life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.
William Wordsworth

2010-04-04T00:25:00.000-05:00

"Integrity is non-situational; you're the same person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
Denis Waitley
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The Practice of Rejoicing
The next time you're feeling down or withdrawn, see what happens when you turn your attention to the good fortunes of others.
By Pema Chodron

Over twelve centuries ago, the Indian sage Shantideva composed "The Way of the Bodhisattva." This classic text gives surprisingly up-to-date instructions for people like you and me to live sanely and open-heartedly, even in a very troubled world. It is the essential guidebook for fledgling bodhisattvas, those spiritual warriors who long to alleviate suffering—their own and that of others.

In "The Way of the Bodhisattva," Shantideva explains how we can connect with the very best of ourselves and help others to do the same. One powerful method he describes is rejoicing. Rejoicing in the good fortune of others is a practice that can help us when we feel emotionally shut down and unable to connect with others. Rejoicing generates good will. The next time you go out in the world, you might try this practice: directing your attention to people—in their cars, on the sidewalk, talking on their cell phones—just wish for them all to be happy and well. Without knowing anything about them, they can become very real, by regarding each of them personally and rejoicing in the comforts and pleasures that come their way. Each of us has this soft spot: a capacity for love and tenderness. But if we don't encourage it, we can get pretty stubborn about remaining sour.

I have a friend who, when he begins getting depressed and withdrawn, goes to a nearby park and does this practice for everyone who walks by. He finds this pulls him out of the slump before it’s too late. The tricky part is getting out of the house, instead of giving in to the seduction of gloom.

When you begin the practice of rejoicing in others' good fortune, you can expect to encounter your soft spot—as well as your competitiveness and envy. Sitting on a park bench feeling warmth for strangers is relatively easy to do; but when good fortune comes to those we know better, especially those we dislike, it can give us an up-close look at our jealousy.

This has certainly been the case for me. Until I began to practice rejoicing, I wasn't aware of how much envy I had. I remember hearing that a colleague's book was rapidly becoming a best seller, and being pained that my first reaction was resentment. Likewise, when I practice generosity, I see my holding back more vividly than ever before. By practicing patience my anger is harder to deny. For someone on the spiritual path, seeing this can be embarrassing.

Who would have thought that the practice of rejoicing would be a setup for seeing our neurosis? Our usual response would be to feel that we’ve blown it; but for aspiring bodhisattvas this isn’t the case. Because our intention is to wake up so we can help others do the same, we rejoice as much in seeing where we’re stuck as we rejoice in our loving kindness.

This is the only way for true compassion to emerge: this is our opportunity to understand what others are up against. Like us, they aspire to open up, only to see themselves close down; like us, they have the capacity for joy, and out of ignorance they block it. For their sake and ours, we can let the story lines go and stay present with an open heart—and rejoice that we're even interested in such a fresh alternative.
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"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
Zig Ziglar
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Grandma's Soup Night
By Joan Cinelli

It had been a busier than usual week, and trying to cope with a stiff neck had made it worse. By Thursday afternoon I had used up my supply of energy and patience. All I wanted to do was to get home, put on a comfortable robe, fix a bowl of good hot soup and collapse with my feet up.
So when I pulled into the driveway and saw my daughter-in-law Wanda's car, I groaned in despair. I had forgotten it was Bryan's night.
Since his parents' separation, I had tried to have my six-year-old grandson spend a few hours with me at least once a week. I always tried to make it a special time for him. We cooked his favorite meal - chicken and cranberry sauce - or went to his favorite hamburger place. Then either a movie or a walk through the park, and home for some fun together. We'd get down on the floor and have car races. Sometimes we'd make candy, or maybe read some silly or scary book. Bryan delighted in all these activities, and so did I. Usually.
Tonight there was no way I could handle it. I was going to have to postpone our evening together until next week. I hugged them both and then explained how badly I was feeling.
"Bryan, honey, I'm sorry," I said. "Tonight your Grandma Joan isn't up to any fun and games. Just a nice hot bowl of soup, a lazy hour of TV and then early to bed. We'll have our night together some other time."
Bryan's smile faded, and I saw the disappointment in his eyes. "Dear Lord, forgive me," I prayed, "but I'm really not up to it tonight. I need this night to relax and renew myself."
Bryan was looking up at me solemnly. "I like soup, Grandma."
My grandmother's heart knew what he was really saying. In his own way, he was saying, "Please don't send me away. Please let me stay."
I heard Wanda say, "No, Bryan. Grandma Joan's too tired tonight. Maybe next week."
But in Bryan's eyes, I saw the shadow, the uncertainty. Something else was changing. Maybe Grandma Joan wouldn't want to have him come anymore. Not tonight, not next week, not ever.
I hesitated and then tried again. "Just soup and TV, Bryan. No car games on the floor for me tonight, no baking cookies, no books. I probably won't be awake very long."
"I like soup," he repeated.
With a sigh of resignation, I gave in and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Then you are cordially invited to dine at my castle. The meal will be small, but the company will be delightful. Escort the Queen Mother in, please, Sir Bryan."
It was worth it to see his eyes light up and hear him giggle as he made a mock bow and replied, "Okay, your Royal Highness."
While I put the soup on the stove and changed into my robe, Bryan set up trays and turned on the television set.
I must have dozed off after the first few sips of soup. When I woke up, there was an afghan over my legs, the bowls and trays were gone. Bryan was sprawled on the floor, dividing his attention between a coloring book and a television show. I looked at my watch. Nine o'clock. Wanda would be coming to get Bryan soon. Poor boy, what a dull time he must have had.
Bryan looked up with a smile. Then, to my surprise, he ran over and gave me a big hug. "I love you, Grandma," he said, his arms still around my neck. "Haven't we had a nice time together?"
His big smile and happy eyes told me that this time he meant exactly what he was saying. And, to my surprise, I knew he was right. We really had had a nice time together.
That was the key word - together. We had done nothing exciting or special. I had slept in the chair. Bryan had colored and watched TV. But we were together.
That night I realized something important. Bryan's visits don't have to be a marathon of activity. The important thing is that he knows I love him and want him. He knows he has a place in my life, which is reserved particularly for him. A time that is just for us to be together.
Bryan still comes once a week. We still bake chicken or eat out, make cookies or go for a walk in the park. But every now and then we enjoy our favorite together time, our special feast of love - soup night.
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"A "NO" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "YES" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble."
Mahatma Gandhi

2010-03-25T11:41:00.001-05:00

"Surround yourself with people most like the person you want to become. Stay away from anyone who can or will bring you down."
Tom Hopkins
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Begin Again
When people facing difficult life challenges ask me for advice, I have two simple words for them.
By Bob Perks

To begin again means that you won't give up. To begin again means you're trying. You can either start over and live your life Or spend the rest of your life slowly dying.

It is never the falling that makes us fail. It is never the pain or the crying. You can never fail in life, my friend, Unless you give up trying.

It seems lately that more and more of my friends are facing some seemingly insurmountable challenges in their lives. A few have lost their jobs and some have failed marriages. All too many have health issues or are battling cancer. I don't know if it is desperation that causes them to turn to me for advice or whether they have come to value our friendship. But it is difficult, to say the least, to offer words of hope when all they feel is hopeless. They expect answers, some magic waving of a wand, or a roadmap to get them back on their feet again.

I have often struggled with what to say. Mostly because I have faced many of the same challenges in my own life, I remember how empty I felt after someone cheerfully offered words like, "Keep your chin up!" "Things will get better!" "Hang in there!" "It's always darkest...," etc.

Yes, even those who were quick to quote the Bible to me found me quite unreceptive at the time.

Now, as an inspiration writer, being thought of as a resource of hope or a good (or bad) example of what to do in life, I have even more people contacting me.

So, what do I say?

"What can I do, Bob? I've lost my job. What do you suggest?"

"Begin again."

"He walked out on me. My whole world just ended. What should I do?"

"Begin again."

"Bob, I know both your son and your wife had cancer. I found out my wife does, too. What did you tell them?"

"Begin again."

It almost sounds too simple. I imagine in the darkest hours of one's life, those words would seem useless or uncaring. But it is indeed the answer.

All life challenges bring about an ending--and the chance for a beginning. A job loss presents an opportunity to start over somewhere else and maybe even in another career.

A failed marriage does not mean you are through loving or being loved. It means there are others just like you needing to be loved. Find them.

A life-threatening disease does not mean giving up. It means starting a new path to recovery and discovering within yourself the ability to fight back and win.

And if you are a person of faith, even death does not mean it's over. It means “to begin again.”
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"The truly successful person inspires others to do more than they have thought possible for themselves."
Denis Waitley
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YOU GET A COOKIE!
by Bob Burg

Today's article may seem like a more appropriate fit for a "Sales Tip", but I don't think so. As usual, success principles that work in one area of life will transfer very smoothly and easily to another. So, in reading the following, ask yourself how this wonderful lesson in customer service can be applied to WINNING WITHOUT INTIMIDATION in all areas of your life.

In my hometown of Jupiter, Florida, there is an extremely successful "Subway" sandwich franchise, owned and run by Trudy Harvey. She and her team are always friendly, eager to please, and keep the store as clean as a whistle. Like any well- run, successful enterprise, they make their customers feel very, very welcome.

They also know how to problem-solve. Recently, when I went there to order lunch, they were in the middle of a "slamming." Someone surprisingly called in to order a humongous party platter and they were caught shorthanded. Trudy and her staff were caught shorthanded big-time!

Customers were in line, waiting and waiting. Had I any experience in the food service business (other than eating said food as often as possible) I'd have offered to help but, alas, that was not an option.

Here are two steps that Trudy took that impressed me. And, any of us can utilize the same principles in our own unique situations.

#1 Every few minutes she apologized sincerely and expressed how it must "feel" for us to have to wait in line. This showed us that she respected our time and "understood" how we felt.

Not surprisingly, we all assured her it was quite okay and to take her time. (Key point: When you suspect someone might have negative or uncomfortable feelings, sincerely acknowledge them, and let them know that you understand how they must feel. If you'll do that, they'll then usually assure you its okay. The principle involved is that, "generally speaking, more than anything, people just want their feelings to be acknowledged.")

#2 She announced, "Everyone gets a free cookie of their choice. We appreciate your patience so much." More than getting something for free, what was so appreciated was that she was acknowledging the situation, and demonstrating to us that she cared enough to make it right. (Key point: Same as the one in the previous paragraph. The cookie was a nice thought, and certainly appreciated, but her caring and understanding attitude was what made the difference.)

This is just one example of how we can take a "seemingly" negative situation for which there does not seem to be any options, and turn it into a positive "wow" experience for the "customer." Of course, in this case, when I say "customer", I'm talking about ANYONE and EVERYONE with whom we need to communicate.

How can this example be applied when dealing with your friends, with everyday difficult people, with your co-workers, your customers and especially...those people you love and whom it is most important to make happy?

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"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how 'You' made them Feel"
Maya Angelou

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2010-02-27T21:59:00.000-06:00

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity."
George S. Patton
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The Life Raft We Cannot See An injured man stranded in the wilderness finds help where he least expected it.
By David Pippenger

This is a true story...

Albeit, the short version.

A man found himself floating down the rapids in a river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area with his ankle broken in half. Having been trained on how to get out of the rapids, he determined that he would get to the shore, and he did.

Not having been trained in what to do with a broken ankle in the bottom of a canyon...he determined that he would walk out of the canyon and up the steep, rocky path just as he had come down.

He did not.

You see, his ankle had the deciding vote, and it had decided that walking up a rocky slope was not in its best interest.

So, in an effort to appease the broken ankle, the man tried to walk using a crutch made from a tree.

Which was a brilliant idea...

If he had been walking on a smooth sidewalk going downhill for a short distance.

But he wasn’t.

He was next to a river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area with his ankle broken in half.

So he decided to think of every possible solution and to choose the best one.

From helicopters to climbing teams, he imagined every possible means to get out of the canyon that was miles from anywhere, in the middle of a wilderness area—with his ankle broken in half.

But while he was thinking, a raft came around the corner.

Which was interesting, because even though he had tried to think of every possible solution he had never thought of a raft.

But that wasn’t all.

Because in the raft was a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician.

Which was particularly interesting, because the man with the broken ankle didn’t know there was such a thing as a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician and he certainly didn’t expect one to be on a raft that he hadn’t even thought of.
Well, the Wilderness EMT made a splint with duct tape and branches from a tree and put the man in his raft, and later that night they camped at a beautiful spot on the river and ate chicken fajitas and strawberry shortcake.

Which was interesting, because the man with the broken ankle thought that he would be eating the dehydrated eggs that he had in his backpack.

Then he realized that a lot of things he hadn’t thought of and a lot of things that he had thought of had turned out in ways that he never thought out.

Which is why I am telling you this story.

I was the man with the broken ankle.

And that day next to the river at the bottom of a canyon, miles from anywhere in the middle of a wilderness area with my ankle broken in half...

I learned that I could not possible imagine all of the amazing things that were in store for me in my life.

Proust says that we shouldn’t look for new vistas, but instead look with fresh eyes.

He’s right.

No matter what life is throwing at us, there us a raft around the corner that we cannot see.

Don’t look for it; it cannot be seen.

Don’t predict when it will appear; it’s not on your timetable.

Don’t doubt that it exists, for doubts will cloud your eyes and cause you to give up before it arrives.

Don’t give up; give in.

Give in to the idea that positive events are in your future, even if you can’t see them.

Give in to the idea that positive events are in your future, even if you can’t imagine what they could possibly be.

There’s a raft around the corner.
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"Getting outside of the box can not only be fun, it is sometimes necessary for our survival. That is what survival training is all about. It disrupts our inner programming, the mentality of going through life on 'auto-pilot' so that we can readily see bright new possibilities heading our way."
Gail Pursell Elliott
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THINKING LIKE A FARMER
by Jim Rohn

One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized age is the fact we've lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean:

For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It's then when he must work around the clock, up before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Eventually winter comes when there is less for him to do to keep him busy.

There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It's easy to keep going from nine to five year in and year out and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don't let one year blend into another in a seemingly endless parade of tasks and responsibilities. Keep your eye on your own seasons, lest you lose sight of value and substance.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
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"Simplify, consolidate, and eliminate tasks. Reengineer your work continuously."
Brian Tracy

2010-02-18T21:48:00.000-06:00

this first story today is just for you....pookie

i love you!!

"You can't brag that you're humble...and be humble."
Terry McEwen
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Blues, Blues, Go Away
by Marie T. Russell

This article was written in answer to the following question:

"Why am I feeling like this?"

The reason you are feeling "down" is that you are not following your inner truth.

When you don't feel like doing something, it is much better for you to do what you really feel like doing. This will serve you much better and keep your energy at a high peak, instead of letting it drain because you are going against the flow. I know you understand this.

When you do something with a negative attitude or in a negative (resentful) frame of mind, you will get the same kind of results on a energy level. As you sow, so shall you reap.

Learn to listen to and heed the small voice within. When you sense that you really don't feel like doing something... stop and ask yourself what you really would like to do at this time. Then if at all possible... do that which your heart truly desires. Don't let your mind or reason dictate what you are to do.

Follow the quiet promptings of your heart. The heart knows best. Have you not been told this before?

Remember to fulfill your heart's desires. Usually these are not such big things that are impossible to do. Sometimes it is simply to go outside and smell the roses... The saying does go "Don't go through life so fast you forget to smell the roses..."

Did you take time to smell the roses today?

Did you stop to chat with a friend?... Or were you too busy...

Did you take time to admire the beautiful perfection of the blue sky, or the shape of the clouds?

And how about admiring the beauty that you are?

Another reason you do not feel at your utmost level of energy is the food you eat... You need to keep "alive energy" in your cells and to do so must put in food which is also alive.

You need to slow down and take the time to prepare your food lovingly, or have someone else prepare it lovingly, and then stop and feed your body lovingly.

Take the time to sit down and eat instead of standing and eating 'on the go'. Your body carries you around throughout the day. It deserves to be treated with respect and love. It deserves some gratefulness for the work it is doing.

You sometimes only look at the dark side of your being... yes there is a pimple on your forehead... so what! Did you notice the healthy glow to your cheeks... or the beautiful smile, or the vibrant and healthy mane of hair?

Please! Stop and take time to love yourself.

Take time to do things for yourself.

Take time to listen to your heart and follow its guidance.

Don't override the voice that speaks within. It is there to serve you, to provide you with happiness at all times. When you override its feelings, it's like hanging up the phone on a friend. You would never do that would you? Well don't hang up on your inner voice. Its only desire is to help you attain that state of perfect happiness that you so desire.

Stop and pay attention.

Look around you.

And listen to the messages that come to you.
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"You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit."
Harry S. Truman
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It's great

It's great when others think highly of you. And yet your value does not depend on what others think.

It's great when things are going your way. And yet true fulfillment in life does not depend on everything always being perfect.

It's great when fortune smiles on you. And yet it is in the difficult, challenging times that you grow stronger and gain valuable wisdom.

It's great when you get something right on the first attempt. And yet there is much to be learned from mistakes and disappointments as well.

It's great to spend some time relaxing. And yet if that's all you ever do, life can become unbearably empty.

Whatever life may send your way, there's a way for you to make the most of it. In every up and every down, you have the golden opportunity to fully live.

Ralph Marston
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"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact."
George Eliot

2010-02-13T20:44:00.000-06:00

"The operative assumption today is that someone, somewhere, has a better idea; and the operative compulsion is to find out who has that better idea, learn it and put it into action – fast."
Jack Welch
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If Only You'd Listen to Your Own Intuition
by Anita Foley

"I KNEW that was going to happen!" How many times have you heard those words come out of your own mouth? Probably plenty, if you're like most people.

We all possess something called "intuition". It's an inner "knowing' which, when paid attention to, will help us make decisions and even prevent us from making mistakes!

Do you remember when you were in school and you had to take those dreaded multiple choice tests? How many times did you get an answer wrong because you had changed it from your original answer? I'll bet it didn't take long before you figured out you should always go with your FIRST instinct. That's because you really did know the correct answer, and your intuition provided it for you. Then, perhaps you doubted your insight and changed the answer.

Did you know that your brain, like a giant computer, stores all the data that is ever put into it? The problem is that most of us can only RECALL about 10% of that data at any given time. But, on occasion, your intuition kicks in and digs deep into the file cabinet of your mind to pull out a stored-away answer.

I'm sure you've experienced having a piece of information "right on the tip of your tongue". The data is in your head somewhere but you can't quite get it out. Sometimes it just takes a while and the answer will come to you a few hours later. It just sort of "pops in" when you're not even trying to remember it anymore.

Well, sometimes information will "pop in" as a warning or in answer to an unasked question. You get a "feeling" about something. Maybe it's just a "gut feeling" or maybe it's more like a premonition. Do you listen to it or ignore it?

It's very easy, in hindsight, to see where you could have prevented a problem or mistake by listening to your hunches. But how can you learn to use your intuition to give you answers or even evoke warnings BEFORE it's too late to do something about them?

1. Learn to listen to your own intuition. The voice within you speaks to you constantly, and you are usually just too busy to listen to it. When making major decisions, make a conscious effort to take some quiet time alone to hear what your inner voice is saying.

2. Never doubt your own intelligence and common sense. When your inner voice says, "watch out", learn to take heed.

3. Never feel, because you don't have a PhD or other fancy degree, that you are less capable than the next guy. The so-called gurus and experts don't have all the answers and don't always know what they're talking about. Just remember how many stock EXPERTS told people to buy Yahoo at $150 a share.

4. Remember that nobody knows you like YOU do. Your intuition is YOU talking to you.

5. Keep your own counsel. There's a reason your intuition gives you advice. Don't ignore it. You are your own best advisor.

Some people intentionally ignore their intuition. They doubt their own inner wisdom. They do things even though their intuition tells them otherwise. They make the same mistakes over and over again. Then they find themselves always saying, "I KNEW that was going to happen!"
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"Ideas are like children; they must crawl before they can walk, and walk before they can run."
Denis Waitley
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Success is achieved
Success is achieved not by doing only what is comfortable and convenient. Success is built by doing what must be done to reach it. Success is achieved not by waiting until the last minute to get started. Success is created by looking ahead and working to be fully prepared.

Success is achieved not by making a half-hearted effort. Success comes when there is rock-solid commitment and real, meaningful purpose.

Success is achieved not by waiting for the lucky breaks. Success is built by making the most of whatever circumstances and events may come along.

Success is achieved not at random. Success happens when there is a decision and an effort and a commitment to make it happen.

Success is achieved not by a lucky few. Success is achieved by anyone who chooses to create it.

Ralph Marston
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"A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man's brow."
Charles Browner

2010-02-11T23:49:00.000-06:00

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope."
Alexander Dumas
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90/10 Secret
by Rashid.A.V.

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%!

How? By your reaction.

Let's use an example.... You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school - she misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

You have a miserable day at work but are not sure why everything seems to go wrong. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did your colleagues cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time".

Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having. Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same, but ended differently.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret: If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the other driver ruin your day?

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out?

You now know the 90-10 secret - apply it and you will be amazed at the results!
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"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again."
Sarah Ban Breathnach
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Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.

Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own grasp that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.

TODAY - Let me realize I am far more positive and predictive when I concentrate my efforts and thoughts on changing myself and my own actions. Give me the courage to act on my own internal wisdom.

The Reflecting Pond
by Liane Cordes
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"Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness and captivity would, without this comfort, be insupportable."
Samuel Johnson

2010-02-05T18:45:00.000-06:00

"Treat your body like a temple, not a woodshed. The mind and body work together. Your body needs to be a good support system for the mind and spirit. If you take good care of it, your body can take you wherever you want to go, with the power and strength and energy and vitality you will need to get there." -
Jim Rohn
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The Words Do Matter

Air Canada Flight 154

I was boarding a flight in Edmonton, Alberta, bound for Toronto after a long day. As I handed my boarding pass to the Air Canada gate agent, I asked her if she was having a good day. Her response has been in my mind for nearly two weeks. She looked at me, smiled, and said, "All the better for you asking me, thanks."

As I literally skipped down the jetway, I smiled. I have asked hundreds of people if they are having a good day. Never have I received that response. I've heard, "It's ok.", "No not really," and "Fine, thanks." But never, until now, have I heard "All the better for you asking me, thanks."

Her response was gracious and warm. It wowed me as a Customer - giving me a very positive experience with Air Canada (even before I was on the plane!) More importantly, it made me feel special as a human being. Perhaps she was taught to say this by a parent at a young age and it was an automatic response. Even if this were true, her genuine response makes that irrelevant.

What would have been a normal flight was changed by eight words - eight words I am sure I will never forget.

The Internet Essay

Recently I read an essay from one of my favorite writers. Scott Ringwelski writes an essay each week called Positive Pause. Last week's issue starts . . .

"No Problem.actually is.

'No problem.' It seems natural, easy going, off the cuff, casual.

It's a throwaway line for a disposable world.

However, how does your throwaway line and casual attitude translate to those you say it to?"

Scott goes on to say that the two words are actually two negatives, no and problem. Through a wonderful personal story he relates that rather than answering a request with "no problem," it would be much more meaningful and powerful to say "It would be my pleasure." Scott knows, as does my Edmonton friend, that choosing these words can make a huge difference.

Rhea

A few hours ago my step mother passed away. While there are many ways she blessed my life and there will be many things I will remember about her, the thing that strikes me now is one of her favorite phrases. "Terrific!" Ask Rhea how she was, and she, more often than not, would say "Terrific!" Even over the last few months when she was very ill. When you saw her, or spoke to her on the phone, if you asked how she was, she would say, "Terrific!"

Certainly in these last few months she hasn't always been terrific, at least by most people's standards. Her optimistic reply though, always lifted my day - even if I were calling to try and lift hers.

The Common Thread

In all of these cases, the words chosen by people have made a positive difference to those around them. As a consultant if I think about these word choices, I could easily make a case that using these phrases would be powerful in terms of Customer Service, and internal communications.

Most importantly though is that choosing these words transforms the people who say the words. Think about my Air Canada friend saying, "All the better for you asking me, thanks!", or anyone saying "It's been a pleasure," or "Terrific!"

These phrases recast our thinking and our self talk in a more positive, focused, and accountable way. Indeed, these words can make a big difference in the lives of others, and in our lives as well.

The words do matter. To everyone.

Yours in Learning,
Kevin Eikenberry
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"Laughter is the most healthful exertion."
Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland
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Superbly fulfilling
The quickest route to an empty life is to live only for yourself. There is no pain greater than the pain of total self absorption. Yet there is always a way to get away from that unbearable emptiness. The moment you begin to sincerely care for someone or something beyond yourself, a golden warmth enters your life.

As soon as you let go of a few of your own self-centered concerns, you start to make room in your world for real joy and fulfillment. When you give of yourself, you begin to experience a magnificent sense of purpose that cannot be reached in any other way.

Behind every desire is a longing for meaning and fulfillment. A truly powerful way to quench that thirst for meaning is to live beyond yourself.

Before you speak, choose words that will serve a greater good. Before you act, choose deeds that will make a positive contribution to the world around you.

In small things and large, use the opportunity of each moment to look and to act beyond your own concerns. The success you create by so doing will be real and superbly fulfilling.

Ralph Marston
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"It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction. Fear secrets acids; but love and trust are sweet juices."
Henry Ward Beecher

2010-02-05T00:40:00.000-06:00

The truth shall make you free.
John 8:32
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What Can We Give? Fifteen special gifts you can give anytime--and that don't cost a cent!
By Hal Urban

When we give our time we give our lives. It’s the foundation of these fifteen special gifts. You may not have previously thought of them as gifts, but they are. If you look upon them in this way you’ll be much more likely give them and be a blessing to others.

1. The Gift of Personal Communication How do you feel when someone contacts you out of the blue for the sole purpose of reminding you that you’re a treasured friend? You feel the same way everyone else does—special, loved, appreciated. And you can brighten someone else’s life any day of the week. This can be done with a phone call, a handwritten note, or an e-mail, and none take more than a few minutes.
2. The Gift of Quotations I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t appreciate a good quotation. That’s why I put so many of them in my books—they’re a gift to my readers, especially those who have expressed appreciation for them. The beauty of a good quotation is that it’s brief, to the point, full of wisdom and advice, and a boost for the spirit. Find them, collect them, and share them. It’s a simple way of giving someone a lift.

3. The Gift of a Good Recommendation When you make a great discovery, one that in some way enriches your life, share it with others. It could be a book (like this one, I hope), a play, a movie, a restaurant, a recipe, an article, a product, a service, a TV program, or a music CD. When you make these kinds of recommendations, you’re really saying, “This brought some joy to my life. I want it to do the same for you.”

4. The Gift of a Helping Hand All of us appreciate it when someone not only offers to help, but actually follows through. We’re all faced with tasks—some big, some small; some important, some trivial; some requiring skill, some menial. Whatever it is, it always goes better with the help of another person. Whether on the job, at home, in school, or out socially, the gift of help is always appreciated.

5. The Gift of Laughter I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like to laugh. It’s one of the happiest and most healthy activities known to the human race. Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” It’s also a life enhancer and a great gift, one that can be given easily and often. Don’t let those funny jokes, stories, bloopers, signs, and one-liners fade away. Share them with others.

6. The Gift of Listening There are many times when someone close to us wants only one thing—our full and undivided attention. Listening intently to another person, with our eyes and with our hearts, silently says, “What you have to say, and the feelings behind your words, are important. Right now this is the best gift I can give you. I value our friendship.”

7. The Gift of an Invitation I regard all invitations, whether to a major event, a wedding, a party, a sporting event, or lunch with a friend, as special gifts. Whenever we ask someone to join us, we’re really saying, “I want you to be there. Your company is cherished. You have something good to offer.” We all want to be included, to be asked to join in, for a simple reason—sharing experiences with other people is one of the greatest joys of life.

8. The Gift of Physical Affection How do you feel when someone gives you a hug, a warm handshake, a friendly pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, an affectionate touch? If you’re a normal, red-blooded, breathing, living human being, you feel great. Alan Loy McGinnis, an esteemed counselor and author, advises, “Use your body to demonstrate warmth.” With the right people and in the proper setting, that’s exactly what acts of fondness do. Give this gift of affection liberally.9. The Gift of Appreciation When someone does something thoughtful for us, regardless of its nature, it’s a gift. We can give another gift in return simply by expressing our appreciation. The great psychologist and philosopher William James said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” We can satisfy that craving, and give a gift, every time we express our appreciation.

10. The Gift of Good Advice Not everyone asks for it or wants it, but there are times when good advice is the greatest gift of all. The reason is that it can change lives. Countless accomplished people throughout history have cited good advice as the key to their success. When the opportunity is there and the other person is willing to listen, never hesitate to give this precious gift.

11. The Gift of Encouragement One of the greatest things you can do for another person is give encouragement. The word means, literally, to give courage. Sometimes it’s all a person needs to get started on something important. History is full of stories about people who achieved great things because of someone else’s encouragement.

12. The Gift of Patience This is actually a dual gift, because patience always comes as the result of understanding. That’s what we most want from other people, especially those closest to us. We especially need their patience and understanding when we’re not at our best. They’re gifts that enrich relationships by allowing them to grow. We can give the same gift to our family members, friends, and colleagues.

13. The Gift of Empathy Any time we can share feelings with another person, whether they’re of sorrow or joy, we give a treasured gift. When Cathy’s dad died unexpectedly in his midfifties some years ago, she experienced both shock and loss. The greatest comfort she received was from people who had also lost a parent under similar circumstances. They were able to identify with her, understand what she was going through, offer hope, and let her know they were there for her.

14. The Gift of Forgiveness This is the ultimate win-win gift. Both the giver and the receiver get something of great value—healing. We’re all in need of it because we’ve all been hurt and offended by someone else. It makes it easier to forgive them when we remind ourselves that we’ve also caused pain in others. Forgiveness releases us from unnecessary negative emotions and allows us to move on to better things.

15. The Gift of Prayer It was not a coincidence that I received an e-mail, a phone call, and a handwritten note about prayer while writing this chapter. Each one was from a dear friend who was not only thinking about me but praying for me. What made the gift even more special was that I hadn’t asked for the prayers. Since I look upon prayer—communication with God—as the highest activity of which a human being is capable, and because I know the sincerity of these people, their gifts became lasting treasures.

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The highest compact we can make with our fellow is: "Let there be truth between us two forevermore."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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So much to do

Do you have so much to do that is seems overwhelming? Then stop thinking about how much there is and start getting it done. Feeling overwhelmed is merely a state of mind that you choose. And just as easily as you can choose it, you can choose to let it go.

A new day, a new month, a new year dawns and it can make you feel like time is quickly slipping away. But in fact, time comes to you just as quickly as it moves past.

And that means that each moment you get the opportunity to make a difference. Each moment, the best thing you can do is to make full and meaningful use of that moment.

That is how you get things done. Moment by moment, little by little, small tasks build into great accomplishments, and accomplishments build into a life with real fulfillment.

You don't have to tackle everything all at once. Just do what you can, when you can, filling each moment with positive purpose and action.

And what once seemed overwhelming will quickly become a source of real and lasting fulfillment.

Ralph Marston
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"You can only do good if you feel good."
Denis Waitley

2010-01-03T17:42:00.000-06:00

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Morrie Schwartz
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Resolutions for a Peaceful New Year
How you--and your children--can start to create peace and harmony this year.
By Naomi Drew

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures. —John F. Kennedy

Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, then watching the evidence change. —Jim Wallis, editor of "Sojourners"

The joy and hope of this new year are tempered by heaviness in our hearts as conflict rages abroad, and young lives are lost daily. Regardless of our religious, ethnic, or political orientation, we each feel the pain of this loss, and have great compassion for families whose loved ones are fighting abroad. May we take care not to get so swept up in the busy-ness of our lives that we lose touch with the heartache that many in our midst are enduring. Now, more than ever, it's essential that we bring the spirit of peace, love, and goodwill toward each other into the new year. May this be a time of healing, compassion, and reaching out--a time to transcend our differences, and strengthen our human connections.
How do we stay in touch with and convey to our children spirit and meaning peace, love, and good will? How can we embody each of these in our actions? What follows are some answers to these questions.

1. Speak from the heart.
Let people know either by your spoken words, or through notes you send, how much you love and care about them. Avoid the superficial and inauthentic. Reach deep into your heart and soul, and speak from these when you connect with others. Encourage your children to do the same.

2. Forgive someone.
Think of one person, past or present, toward whom you have ill feelings. Be it a parent, a sibling, a spouse, child, or someone who was once your friend, ask yourself if you can find it in your heart to grant them forgiveness.

Sit down and write a note of forgiveness to this person. This note is just for you. When you're finished, ask yourself if you're ready to make a phone call or send an actual note that helps mend fences. Talk to your children about your process and see if they have someone they need to forgive. Let them know that forgiving is one of the greatest gestures of generosity we can make.

3. Listen with compassion.
So often conversation tends toward the mundane. We go through the motions of talking and listening while our internal conversations ramble on. This year, try listening with an open heart even if you disagree. Listening compassionately simply means that you're making an effort to understand. Try putting yourself in the other person's place as you listen, and see what you can learn. Encourage your children to do this as well. Compassionate listening is another gesture of true magnanimity.

4. Stop and notice.
The rush-rush nature of life often compels us to engage in back-to-back activities without soaking in what we're experiencing. Stop, notice, and take in the small moments: the look in your child's eyes as you admire a drawing she made for you in school; the feel of your mother's arms around you after having been apart; the sound of your friend's voice a thousand miles away. Then, later, reflect. Take some time to write about subtle observations and emotions that you experienced just by stopping and noticing. Resist getting swept up in the swirl. Instead, stay present to the richness of each moment.

5. Make a difference for someone in need.
What can you do to make a difference in someone's life? My sister has a wonderful ritual of taking her children to a home for the aged each New Year's. She and her girls give homemade gifts to elderly people who have no families to visit them. My sister has shared many stories with me about the tears and hugs of the people she and her children have connected with. The small handmade gifts and shared conversation are priceless to the elderly people who would otherwise be alone during this time. Think of things you and your family can do to reach out to others.

6. Continue several of the above suggestions all year long.
If we each made the conscious decision to live in the spirit of peace, love, and goodwill every single day, our world would slowly start to change. For this new year, and all year long, remind yourself and your children that this essential change in our world begins with each of you. We can each be the candle that helps to light the world.

For those of you who have loved ones serving overseas, deepest prayers go to you and to those you love. May they be well wherever they are, and may, someday soon, we find a way to live in peace.

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"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend you energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."
Denis Waitley

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Inner Beauty

When it is only through age that one gathers wisdom and experience, why this endless struggle to seem young?...Remember that beauty works from within, it cannot be put on and off like a garment, and it depends far more on the culture of the intellect, than the taste, sentiment, and affections of the soul than the colour of the hair, eyes, or complexion...Be kind, noble, generous, well-mannered, be true to yourselves and your friends, and the soft lines of these tender graces and noble virtues will reveal themselves in the face...we cannot be one thing and look another...There are indelible marks in every face showing the real life within.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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It doesn't take much to lift one's spirits: simple pleasures abound everywhere. All we need to do is prepare the mind, look, then enjoy.
Brian Luke Seaward

2009-12-23T10:58:00.000-06:00

"Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment."
Jean de la Bruyere
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Bad Hop
By Steve Smith

The ball pinged off the aluminum bat and headed toward the hole between shortstop and third base, the sort of one-hop screamer that the high-school junior shortstop, my son Chris, had backhanded a thousand times. Only this time, the ball hit a pebble and caromed weirdly toward his head. With a sickening crunch, the ball caught him flush in his left eye, and he went down in a heap. Bad hop, and a bad break.
The ambulance came onto the field, and he was taken away, something that just doesn't seem to happen in the pastoral world of high-school baseball. At the hospital, Chris was diagnosed with a blowout fracture of the bones in the orbit of his eye socket - a classic sports injury easily resolved by a simple surgical procedure.
Except that things went wrong, and when the surgeon finally screwed up his courage enough to tell my wife and me what happened - an undetected blood clot had cut off oxygen to the optic nerve - the long and short of it was that Chris would be blind in his left eye, probably for the rest of his life. In one instant, the college scholarships Chris had contemplated and the dreams of a professional baseball career vanished.
Chris was still groggy from the surgery when we went into his hospital room, his bandaged eye holding a secret we now had to share with him. We chatted about small things until he was alert enough to ask the inevitable, "Did everything go okay?"
My wife, Sue, gripped my hand as I told him that, no, it had not. That there had been complications. That the doctors had done their best, that medicine was still more art than science.
Halfway through my semiprepared speech, Chris interrupted me:
"Dad, am I blind?"
"Yeah, son. I'm afraid so."
"Will I be able to see out of it at all?"
"We don't know - the doctors don't know. Maybe a little. Someday. Not now." It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do.
Chris sort of nodded and looked away toward the window. Outside it was spring, and we listened for a time to a robin's territorial song from a nearby tree.
"Can I have a Coke?"
The duty nurse brought Chris a soft drink in a can with a cup and some ice. His mother poured the drink and he sat up and drank some of it through a straw, and then peered at the can on his bedside table.
"Dad, could you see if they have a pencil and paper I can use?"
I walked outside to the nurses' station and borrowed a notepad and a pencil and returned to Chris's room, where his mother was talking with him in hushed tones. I handed him the pad and pencil, and we elevated his bed. He raised his knees and propped the pad against them, looked at the soda can, and began to draw. Sue and I said nothing as long minutes passed. Finally, he tore off the sheet of paper and handed it to me. We looked at it - a photo-likeness of a Coca-Cola soft-drink can. Chris had always had an uncanny artistic ability: if his eyes could see it, his hand could draw it. We had thought of art as his second love - right behind baseball. In those brief moments, Chris took a bad hop, made a decision and changed forever the course of his life.
"I'm okay, you guys. I can still draw."
With that, he lowered his bed, turned onto his side and fell asleep.
That was eleven years ago. Since then, about 40 percent of the sight has returned to Chris's left eye. Even with this handicap, which severely affects depth perception, he went on to hit .385 and shortstop a state-championship baseball team the very next season, earning all-state honors in the process.
But his focus had changed. Chris took his college degree - with the help of an academic and not an athletic scholarship - in fisheries and wildlife management as a background for his career as a wildlife and sporting artist. Today, his paintings and pencil renderings grace the pages and covers of magazines and more than a dozen books, and they hang in galleries and museums in New York and Tennessee. The list of his clients awaiting oil and watercolor commissions is always at least a year long.
Human courage manifests itself in countless ways, countless times every day in every city and town and hamlet on every continent around the world. One bad hop, one routine ground ball, one instant of pain, and what could have been months of despair. But instead, that bad hop - and the courage to accept what could not be changed - altered the course of a life for the better.
In sports we call such things great comebacks. I suppose in Chris's case, there is no reason to call it anything else. Proving, I guess, that some bad hops can be fielded cleanly after all.
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We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
Sandra Day O'Connor
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Unfortunately, life does not come with a money-back guarantee. Going after what we want, especially if we're up against established interests, is likely to demand the commitment of our best energies -- with no certainty of getting it.

Oddly enough, some of the happiest people we are ever likely to meet are those who devote their lives to seemingly hopeless causes. For such people, daring a lot can mean staking their lives on a belief. The outcomes are bound to be small in proportion: failure, perhaps. At best, limited achievement.

But none of this seems to matter. In fact, a happy person with a cause seems to have totally let go of the outcome. The joy is in the struggle, in the process. They learn so much; and by living for something outside themselves, their own small problems miraculously fall into line.

Today I'll keep in mind that achievement is risky, but dedication is wonderfully liberating.

from the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg
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"When God makes a person what is most important is the heart and soul. The outside is just decoration."
Muhammad Ali

2009-12-21T21:07:00.000-06:00

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift.
Oprah Winfrey
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ESTABLISHING DREAMS AND GOALS
by Jim Rohn

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail this week: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts (you get to do this in the workbook exercises this week).

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you will feel Great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what Our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams.

Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Jim Rohn
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I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein
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Above and beyond
When life asks for a single measure of effort, give two, or three. When just a little bit of patience and understanding is called for, give a lot.

When a small thing is expected of you, give more than what's expected. Once you've worked yourself into a positive, productive, value-creating state, keep it going for a while.

Every extra effort draws immense leverage from all the ordinary efforts that have preceded it. Once you have positive momentum established, it pays to make the most of it.

The longer you extend that momentum, the more powerful it grows. In such a situation, even a small extra effort can produce large and impressive results.

If you stop when you've done just the bare minimum, you walk away from all the momentum you've created. What a shame it would be to waste something so valuable that you've worked to create.

Instead, choose to go above and beyond. You'll find that every extra effort will add greatly to life's richness.
Ralph Marston
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I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.
Anthony Robbins

2009-12-15T22:00:00.000-06:00

"Habits are like submarines; they run silent and deep."
Denis Waitley
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Eight Steps to Aging Gracefully Recommendations for enhancing spiritual health and well-being.
By Andrew Weil, M. D.

Pay attention to your breath. Many cultures identify breath with spirit, seeing the breath cycle as the movement of spirit in the physical body…. Simply minding the breath is a way of expanding consciousness beyond the ego, of experiencing transcendence.

Connect with nature. You can do this by walking or sitting in a natural setting; a city park will do just fine. Allow yourself to slow down, drop your usual routines, and just absorb the influence of the place.

Make a list of people in your life in whose company you feel more alive, happy, and optimistic. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Our spiritual selves resonate with others, and that connection is a healing.

Bring flowers into your home and enjoy their beauty.

Listen to music that you find inspirational and uplifting.

Admire a work of art that raises your spirits: a painting, sculpture, or work of architecture.

Reach out and try to resume connection with someone from whom you are estranged; practice forgiveness.

Do some sort of service work. Give some of your time and energy to help others. The possibilities are endless but do not include just writing a check to charity. The suggestions above are intended to help you become more aware of your spiritual self. Any activity that makes you feel more alive, more connected to others and to nature, less isolated, more comfortable with change, is beneficial. It will enhance your physical and mental health. It will help you accept the fact of your aging. It will help you to age gracefully.
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"Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours."
Tom Hopkins
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Timeless joy

Every joy you've experienced, even years and years ago, is still with you. Time and events can take away the conditions and surroundings of that joy, yet they can never take away the joy itself. Joy has no need of being remembered, for it is always with you. All you have to do is allow it to fill your heart, and it will.

The terrain will change, the colors will fade, the sounds will grow silent and other experiences will take their place. Yet the joy is always as fresh and new, as sweet and revitalizing as ever.

Even when memories grow dim, the joy will shine ever more brightly. For joy is truly timeless.

Put joy into your life and it will always be there. The more often you let it touch you and fill you, the more of it there will be.

Put joy into your moments and create value that you can always draw upon. Spread joy to others and you give a gift that will keep on giving, over and over again.

Ralph Marston
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"Good habits are hard to form and easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to form and hard to live with. Nothing is neutral. Everything counts."
Brian Tracy

2009-12-08T23:28:00.000-06:00

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Just Another Day
By Charlotte "Charlie" Volnek

Is it morning already? I rub my eyes and get up to ready myself for just another day. It's just another day. . . . I look out my window to see the sun beaming down, caressing the Earth with its golden rays. Above, white clouds float in the brilliant blue sky. I hear a cardinal singing to his mate as he perches upon my back fence. And a bed of crocus open their purple heads to the heavens in joyful thankfulness.
It's just another day. My small daughter bursts into the room, her giggle ringing through the house as she hugs my neck tightly. Her small hand fits into mine as she pulls me to the kitchen to show me the card she has made. A stick figure with curly brown hair waves from the paper and beneath it, written in purple crayon are the words, "I love you, Mommy."
It's just another day as I stand quietly and watch a handicapped child. He struggles to get his special walker over the curb, but it won't budge. A well-meaning teacher offers assistance, but he brushes her away. With determination, he conquers the curb and is off to laugh and play with his friends. I weep inside for his handicap, but I am inspired by his courage. And I smile as I watch the children play, totally accepting their friend for who he is, not judging him for what he lacks.
It's just another day. My son proudly presents the report he did for school. He shares with me the hopes and dreams he holds for his future. His curiosity and excitement are contagious as we unfold the limitless possibilities that lay before him. I am encouraged that no dream is beyond our reach if we want it bad enough.
It's just another day. My beloved wraps his arms around me and surrounds me in love. I turn to look in the eyes that share my innermost feelings. What a special friend I have. Someone who loves me for who I am. Someone to lean on when I feel down. Someone to share my happiness. Someone to love.
Yes, it is just another day. A day to enjoy God's gracious beauty upon this Earth. A day to kiss the cherub cheeks of my children, and share in their hopes and dreams. A day to learn the value of determination and hard work. A day to learn the value of judging mankind for the quality he has, not what he has not. A day to learn the value of love. Yes, it's just another day, I sigh. The stars dance in the velvet sky as a full yellow moon smiles cheerfully down. The house is quiet and still. The only sound is the soft even breathing of my spouse. I recall the scripture: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) And as I lay at the side of my soul mate I pray that God will let me see "just another day"!
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"Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it."
Josephus Daniels
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"Count Your Blessings"

Perhaps one of the simplest ways to change your mood
or mental outlook is to remind yourself of all the good things in your life. Reflecting on how far you've come, what you have already accomplished, and what you have learned, can be very encouraging.

Appreciating your dearest friends, your closest family members, your favorite
possessions and of course yourself can bring a smile to your face.

If you need a lift or an attitude adjustment, try to appreciate and reflect on the
good things. Count your blessings. It can be done anytime and and place.
-Meditations for Women-
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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain

2009-12-06T21:44:00.000-06:00

"Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, whole-heartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation."
William H. Sheldon
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Long Distance Vitamins
By Emily Chase

We arrived at the hospital to find Dad exhausted and weak, but his smile was as sure as ever. It was another bout of pneumonia. My husband and I stayed with him for the weekend but had to return to our jobs by Monday morning. Local relatives would see that Dad got home from the hospital, and they would look in on him regularly and prepare his meals. They would make sure he got his daily medicine and take him to his doctor appointments. But I longed to be able to let him know that we cared, too, even when we weren't with him. Then I remembered a family tradition I initiated when our children were small. When leaving their grandparents' home after a visit, each child would hide a love note in the house for their grandfather or grandmother to find after we were gone. They hid notes in the cereal box, to be poured into their bowls the next morning. They'd tuck a note under a hairbrush, in a deck of cards, next to the phone or even in the microwave. For days after our departure, their grandparents would smile as they discovered these reminders of our love. So as I tidied Dad's kitchen and made up a bed for him downstairs in the living room, I began writing notes. Some were practical. "Dad, I froze the casserole that was in the fridge so it wouldn't spoil." Some expressed my love. "Dad, I hope you sleep well in your new bed." Most notes were downstairs where he would be confined for several weeks until he regained strength, but one note I hid upstairs under his pillow. "Dad, if you have found this note, you must be feeling better. We are so glad!" While others cared for Dad's day-to-day needs, we, of course, would stay in touch by phone. But our notes were a tangible reminder of our love and concern for him during this recovery period. Just like his medicines boosted him physically, these "emotional vitamins" would boost his spiritual health. Several weeks later, in one of our regular phone calls, I asked Dad how he was doing. He said, "I'll tell you how I'm doing. I just found your note under my upstairs pillow!"

Emily Chase (c) 2004
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"The days that make us happy make us wise."
John Masefield
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"The Person You Choose To Be With Should Support Your Dreams and Respect Your Values"

Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. Nobody wants to be with someone who rejects them for what they believe, or judges them for certain traits of their personality.

You're entitled to your own decisions, beliefs, goals, etc. When someone truly loves you, they love the whole package you come in. This includes the physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and values that come along with you.

After all, that's the true beauty of being an individual. And, the one you choose to be with should be grateful.
Meditations For Women
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"Always be happy, never be satisfied."
Mark McKeon

2009-12-03T23:05:00.002-06:00

"It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success."
David Feherty
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Just What the Doctor Ordered
By Whisperin' Bill Anderson

I've been asked a million times why I've chosen to put up with all the hassles and inconveniences of working the road all these years when I could have easily stayed in Nashville, written songs for a living, and enjoyed a peaceful and comfortable existence. My reply is now and has always been: Nobody applauds when you write a song. Applause surely must be the most powerful aphrodisiac known to mankind. The quest for it is a disease of the blood. Or, at best, a genetic disorder. What else would cause an apparently rational person of sound body and mind to pack his belongings and heedlessly ride away from his spouse and family in order to pursue such a nomadic and pointless existence? I mean, it's not like entertainers cure cancer or anything. Or do we? I once rode all night and half a day through a blinding snowstorm only to arrive in the little North Dakota town where we were booked to perform to find our concert had been canceled because of the weather. A handful of people hadn't heard the news, however, and had managed somehow to brave the elements and make their way to the auditorium. Normally, under such circumstances, no one would expect the entertainers to perform. All performance contracts contain an "Act of God" clause stating that if something out of human control occurs, the contract becomes null and void. The promoter was under no obligation to pay us for the date. Likewise, we had no obligation to go on stage. We were cold, tired and hungry. The endless miles on a narrow, snow-swept highway had taken their toll. But there was something in the eyes of those few fans who had shown up that told us how badly they wanted to hear the music they knew we could play if only we would. A small kitchen was off to the side of the auditorium, and the promoter offered to cook us some food. We warmed our hands by the steaming heat rising off a small group of antiquated radiator coils in the corner of the hallway and talked the situation over. There was certainly no place else for us to go. The entire town was held prisoner by the storm. Why not drink some coffee, fill our bellies and pick a little country music? Which is exactly what we did. I told the audience they'd better treat us real good, though, because we had 'em outnumbered. We gave them our time and our talents and, in return, they were more than generous to us with their applause. When our show was over, we stood around for a while and signed a few autographs and visited with the people. An elderly lady, wearing a heavy coat that had obviously kept her warm for many long winters, her head wrapped in a faded blue scarf, approached the stage where I was standing. "You don't know how much this evening has meant to me," she said, reaching up for my hand and looking deeply into my eyes. "Well, we've enjoyed it, too," I replied, smiling and giving her hand a slight squeeze. "My husband just passed away," she said sadly, lowering her head. "I haven't been out of the house since he died except to go to the grocery store and to church. I didn't really want to come here today, but my daughter insisted on bringing me. My husband and I had lots of your records, and we used to enjoy so much watching you on TV." I smiled and thanked her. "I'm so glad to get to meet you," she continued. "Thank you for playing and singing for such a small crowd. Today is the first time I've smiled since my husband died. Your music has helped me to forget my problems for a while." Okay, so entertainers don't cure cancer. But maybe, every once in a while, we cure some other things that are almost as important.

Whisperin' Bill Anderson (c) 1998
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"There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in."
Graham Greene
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TEN STEPS TO GOAL GETTING
by Zig Ziglar

These ten steps will help you achieve your goals in 2006.

1. Make the commitment to reach your goal. "One person with a commitment is worth a hundred who only have an interest." Mary Crowley.

2. Commit yourself to detailed accountability. Record your progress toward your goals every night, and list the six most important things you need to do the next day. Daily discipline is the key to reaching your goals.

3. Build your life on a sold foundation of honesty, character, integrity, trust, love, and loyalty. This foundation will give you an honest shot at reaching any goal you have set properly.

4. Break your intermediate and long-range goals into increments.

5. Be prepared to change. You can't control the weather, inflation, interest rates, Wall Street, etc. Change your decision to move toward a goal carefully--but be willing to change your direction to get there as conditions and circumstances demand.

6. Share your "give-up" goals (i.e., give up smoking, being rude, procrastinating, being late, eating too much, etc.) with many people. Chances are excellent they're going to encourage you.

7. Become a team player. Remember: You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

8. See the reaching. In your imagination see yourself receiving that diploma, getting that job or promotion, making that speech, moving into the home of your dreams, achieving that weight-loss goal, etc.

9. Each time you reach a goal your confidence will grow so that you can do bigger and better things. After accomplishing any goal, record it in your journal, Weekly Planner or Palm Pilot.

10. Remember, what you get by reaching your destination isn't nearly as important as what you become by reaching your goals--what you will become is the winner you were born to be!
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"Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat."
Malcolm Forbes

2009-12-01T21:48:00.001-06:00

"It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts."
Robert H. Schuller

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The Word That Made a Difference

How just one word of praise helped a shy student break through a mental block.

By Gary Smalley and John Trent

Sixth grade hadn’t been a banner year for Eric. Never very confident in school, he had a particular dread of mathematics. “A mental block,” one of the school’s counselors had told him. Then, as if a mental math block wasn’t enough for an eleven-year-old kid to deal with, he came down with measles in the fall and had to stay out of school for two weeks. By the time he got back, his classmates were multiplying fractions. Eric was still trying to figure out what you got when you put a half pie with three-quarters of a pie...besides a lot of pie. Eric’s teacher, Mrs. Gunther—loud, overweight, and terrifying—was unsympathetic. For the rest of the year she hounded him with ceaseless makeup assignments. When his mental block prevented his progress in fractions, she would thunder at him in front of the class, “I don’t care for your excuses! You’d better straighten up!”

The mental block, once the size of a backyard fence, now loomed like the Great Wall of China. Eric despaired of ever catching up, and even fell behind in subjects he’d been good at.

Then came the remarkable moment.

It happened in the middle of Mrs. Warwick’s ninth grade English class. To this day, some twenty-five years later, Eric still lights up as he recalls the Moment.

The fifth period class had been yawning through Mrs. Warwick’s attempts to spark discussion about a Mark Twain story. At some point in the lecture, something clicked in Eric’s mind. It was probably crazy, but it suddenly seemed like he understood something Twain had been driving at—something a little below the surface. Despite himself, Eric raised his hand and ventured an observation.

That led to the moment when Mrs. Warwick looked straight into Eric’s eyes, beamed with pleasure, and said, “Why, Eric...that was very perceptive of you!” Perceptive. Perceptive? Perceptive!

The word echoed in Eric’s thoughts for the rest of the day—and then for the rest of his life. Perceptive? Me? Well, yeah. I guess that WAS perceptive. Maybe I AM perceptive. One word, one little positive word dropped at the right moment somehow tipped the balance in a teenager’s view of himself—and possibly changed the course of his life, even though he still can’t multiply fractions.

Eric went on to pursue a career in journalism and eventually became a book editor, working successfully with some of the top authors in America.

Many teachers are well aware how praise motivates children. One teacher said she praised each student in her third grade class every day, without exception. Her students were the most motivated, encouraged, and enthusiastic in the school. I remember what happened when my high school geometry teacher began to affirm me regularly. Within six weeks my D average climbed to an A.

It’s wonderful when a teacher has the opportunity to inject a word of affirmation into a child’s life. It’s even better when that opportunity is seized. But perhaps the greatest honor of any teacher is seeing a child’s eyes light up when they discover something new about themselves and about the world around them. It’s what kindles their pride in being called “teacher.”

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The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too.
Herbert Samuels

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The reason

When it seems too frustrating, tedious, difficult or uncomfortable, stop for a moment and give yourself time to remember. Stop for a moment and remember why you're doing it in the first place. When there's a meaningful reason behind what you're doing, then you'll be able to find the motivation and the energy to get it done. Connect yourself with that reason, and allow it to push you forward.

Because you have a reason, you have a very real stake in the outcome of your own efforts. Be sure to keep yourself connected to whatever that reason may be.

The discipline, persistence, commitment and effectiveness necessary to get the job done need substance to support and maintain them. They require a real and meaningful reason, a driving purpose, in order to thrive.

Whenever something starts to get you down, challenge yourself to remember why you're doing it. Remember why, and move ahead with a fresh, powerful, renewed sense of purpose.

Remember why, and you'll have what it takes to get it done.

Ralph Marston

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"Ordinary riches can be stolen: real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."
Oscar Wilde

2009-06-10T12:10:00.000-05:00

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

Wayne Dyer
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A Real Home By Carol McAdoo Rehme Her world had shattered with the divorce. Bills, house payments, health insurance. Her part-time job provided little income and fewer benefits. With no financial support, she had finally lost the house. At wit's end, Karen managed to rent a cramped camper at the local RV park for herself and five-year-old Joshua. It was only a little better than living out of their car, and she wished with all her heart that she could provide more for her child. After their evening ritual of giggling over a table game and reading stories, Karen sent her son outside to play until bedtime while she agonized over the checkbook. She glanced out the window when she heard voices. "Say, Josh, don't you wish you had a real home?" asked the campground manager. Karen tensed and held her breath as she leaned nearer the open window. Then a smile spread across her face when she heard Joshua's response. "We already have a real home," he said. "It's just that we don't have a house to put it in."
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"Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us."

Earl Nightingale
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Unfortunately, life does not come with a money-back guarantee. Going after what we want, especially if we're up against established interests, is likely to demand the commitment of our best energies -- with no certainty of getting it.

Oddly enough, some of the happiest people we are ever likely to meet are those who devote their lives to seemingly hopeless causes. For such people, daring a lot can mean staking their lives on a belief. The outcomes are bound to be small in proportion: failure, perhaps. At best, limited achievement.

But none of this seems to matter. In fact, a happy person with a cause seems to have totally let go of the outcome. The joy is in the struggle, in the process. They learn so much; and by living for something outside themselves, their own small problems miraculously fall into line.

Today I'll keep in mind that achievement is risky, but dedication is wonderfully liberating.

from the book:

The Promise of a New Day

by Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg
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"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

2009-06-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

"Come through for others and they will come through for you."

Denis Waitley
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7 Gifts that Multiply Happiness

by Steve Brunkhorst

Did you know that there are gifts that will multiply your happiness when you give them away? Here are seven of those gifts. Giving these gifts will allow you to share with others your most unique treasure: your authentic self. Each gift will return to you many times.

As you read about each of these gifts, think about ways that you could share that gift with someone today.

1. Share appreciation
Tell someone how much you appreciate the faith they've shown in you. Thank them sincerely for being part of your life. Tell them how much they are needed.

Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times.

2. Share time
Balance your time expenditures so you can spend time with the people that you love. Support local organizations by sharing your special talents. Volunteer time for projects that benefit others in your community, country, and world.

When we slow down and observe our thoughts closely, we will sometimes uncover gifts and talents we didn't know we had. Sharing time and talents can result in discoveries that bring happiness beyond measure.

3. Share knowledge and ideas
Tell someone about a great book that you read so they can benefit from it too. Teach a new concept or idea that you've learned.

One of the best ways to strengthen new concepts in your mind is to share them with others. The more often you share what you've learned, the stronger that information will become in your memory. Sharing knowledge also provides solutions to problems. The more knowledge we share, the more knowledge we receive in return.

4. Share friendship
Acknowledge someone's strengths. Let them know that you are willing to be there when they need you. Visit someone you haven't seen for a long time. Telephone friends or relatives who live far away. Introduce two friends who don't know each other.

Bringing one individual into another's life can result in tremendous changes for both people, and for you. We succeed with the help of others. People grow by growing together. If you'd like to have many friends, then share friendship with others generously.

5. Share kindness
Perform a random act of kindness for someone: a smile, compliment, or a favor just for fun. These will multiply and spread very rapidly.

There is a powerful quote by Stephen Jay Gould who said, "The center of human nature is rooted in ten thousand ordinary acts of kindness that define our days." Kindness is priceless. The love, kindnesses, and value we have given authentically to others will be our remaining treasures at the end of life.

6. Share experience
Keep written or photo journals of your life: things you've done, places you've traveled, things you've learned. Record successes and failures. Share a happy memory. Also share the difficult times that have helped you become stronger and wiser. When shared, the value of these experiences multiplies.

Our unique experiences and perceptions of life are priceless. Sharing experiences will build one of the strongest bonds with others. Our descendants can learn and benefit from our lifetime experiences for generations to come.

7. Share enthusiasm
If you are excited about a new success, tell someone. If you're ecstatic about a new project, show your glow. Your enthusiasm will inspire others to move forward with actions that bring rewarding achievements.

Enthusiasm keeps us looking forward to the future. It brings many of those exciting days that we can savor with gratitude. That kind of glowing excitement for life is impossible to hide. It is contagious and will quickly spread to others.

Think about this statement by Norman MacEwan: "Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Sharing these gifts sends our thoughts on a far-reaching journey where they will touch many lives, and reconnect with our own. Would you like to receive these same life-enhancing gifts again and again? Begin multiplying your happiness by sharing one of these special gifts with someone today!
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"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Timeless joy Every joy you've experienced, even years and years ago, is still with you. Time and events can take away the conditions and surroundings of that joy, yet they can never take away the joy itself. Joy has no need of being remembered, for it is always with you. All you have to do is allow it to fill your heart, and it will.

The terrain will change, the colors will fade, the sounds will grow silent and other experiences will take their place. Yet the joy is always as fresh and new, as sweet and revitalizing as ever.

Even when memories grow dim, the joy will shine ever more brightly. For joy is truly timeless.

Put joy into your life and it will always be there. The more often you let it touch you and fill you, the more of it there will be.

Put joy into your moments and create value that you can always draw upon. Spread joy to others and you give a gift that will keep on giving, over and over again.

Ralph Marston
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"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

Norman MacEwan

2009-05-29T19:36:00.000-05:00

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still."

Franklin D. Roosevelt
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FOCUS ON IDEA

by Vic Johnson

"No person can be confronted with a difficulty which he has not the strength to meet and subdue… Every difficulty can be overcome if rightly dealt with; anxiety is, therefore, unnecessary. The task which cannot be overcome ceases to be a difficulty and becomes an impossibility… and there is only one way of dealing with an impossibility - namely to submit to it." - Byways of Blessedness

Most people who read these articles probably think that I write them for others. The truth is, I write them for me. I need them as much or more than the folks I write for.

Several days ago when I started this I was confronted with a difficulty that I allowed to fill me with a great deal of anxiety. It's not a new difficulty or even a totally unexpected one. But I was faced with a decision that will have long-term ramifications. One of those kind of decisions that we'd rather not make - one of those decisions that makes you want to pull the covers up over your head in the morning.

James Allen's words are so incredibly penetrating on this subject because he's basically saying that there's no problem that we should be anxious about. We can either solve it or it's impossible to solve. Kind of reminds you of the Serenity Prayer doesn't it? "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference."

I once heard Rita Davenport give some great advice on handling most of the problems in our life: "If money can fix it, it's not a problem." Well that's great, you say, but I don't have the money to fix it, so I've got a problem. Wrong thinking. Because the truth is you're only one idea away from obtaining whatever amount of money you might need. So instead of focusing on the money you don't have (which will almost surely result in you attracting more lack into you life), focus on ideas, ideas, ideas.

There's also another great reason not to be anxious about the difficulty you're facing today - it contains a lesson. And once you master it, you will be much stronger and wiser. My long-time hero, Emmet Fox, wrote, "It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson."

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson
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"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."

May Sarton
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"Endless Possibilities Exist For All of Us"

New decisions and changes are frightening but they can also be exhilarating!

No matter what pressures you're under, what tough decisions you face, keep in mind that it is possible to turn chaos and turmoil into an exciting beginning.

Look at all the options life has to offer. Ask yourself how those options fit in with your deepest desires. Whether your desires are intellectual, artistic, spiritual, or physical, you can make a decision, now, to make them into realities.

Do this and you will soar over boundaries, and recognize that your endless possibilities have no limits.

~author unknown~
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"Let a person rejoice when he is confronted with obstacles, for it means that he has reached the end of some particular line of indifference or folly, and is now called upon to summon up all his energy and intelligence in order to extricate himself, and to find a better way; that the powers within him are crying out for greater freedom, for enlarged exercise and scope."

James Allen

2009-05-13T19:00:00.000-05:00

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Melody Beattie
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LEARNING FROM EINSTEIN'S CREATIVITY

by Ron White

One of the most famous quotes of Einstein is when he said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Einstein was putting value on creativity here. His theories and ideas were all about creativity. When he made a working boxcar for his son out of shoestring and some boxes, that was creativity. When he was down and out and needed money and posted an ad for tutoring lessons; that was creativity in making money.

Since Einstein accomplished some of the greatest thoughts of our time, an argument could be made that he was one of the most creative people of all time. You can know more about your product than anyone and have more degrees than anyone you know, but if you don't have a little bit of creativity to take advantage of what you have, then it is useless.

Credentials and knowledge will do you little good if you lack the creativity to take advantage of them. Einstein once said, "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." I think he was being a little humble and a lot humorous here, but he was once again acknowledging the importance of being creative!

So you may ask yourself, "What is creativity?"

That is an excellent question -- let's go straight to the source to answer it. Einstein said, "CREATIVITY is seeing what other see and THINKING what no one else has thought."

Robert Kennedy said the same thing this way, "I look at things that are and I ask why? I look at things that never were and ask why not?" Robert Kennedy was talking about creativity, just as Einstein was.

So how do you do it? How do you model the creativity of Albert Einstein?

First of all, we need to address the idea of the limiting belief that you are not creative.

There is a prevailing belief that creativity is an inborn trait - you are either creative or you're not. Well, while creativity is an inborn trait, we are all born with a creative brain (your right cerebral hemisphere) and have many creative skills. Children are naturally curious and eager to explore the world around them and spend hours playing with toys, making up imaginary friends and pretend games. But as we get older, we begin to lose some of our natural creativity as we learn and use more left-brain thinking skills in school and at work. Research shows that our propensity to generate original ideas reduces from 90% at age 5, to 20% at age 7 and even further to 2% as adults! However, unless you have suffered brain damage in your right hemisphere or had it surgically removed, you still have a creative brain; so you are still creative. It's just that maybe you don't use your creativity skills as much as you used to.

Now for the good news! You can reawaken your creative brainpower.

What would Einstein tell you in regards to increasing your creativity? Well, we don't have to guess on that one, because he did tell us. He said, "The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

Develop the curiosity of a child. Leonardo Da Vinci, who is said to be one of the greatest geniuses of all time, also had this creativity. I don't think that it is a coincidence that Leonardo and Einstein were both extremely creative and that so many years after their deaths we are still talking about them.

Let me give you a few of Da Vinci's credentials:

500 years ago he:

- drew blue prints for the worlds first helicopter - drew blueprints for a submarine - built an extendable ladder that is still being used by fire departments today - built the world's first hydraulic jack - built a rotating stage - and 500 years ago he built a water powered alarm clock!

Those are some pretty amazing credentials if you ask me.

Curiosity might have "killed the cat" but it can help you think like a genius. Leonardo Da Vinci had a book of questions. In this journal of sorts he would write down questions as fast as they would pop into his head. He would write down questions such as:

why do birds fly?

why do they slow down as they land?

what do their feathers do?

The interesting thing is that he didn't worry about the answers. He simply wrote down the questions because he knew something about the power of the human mind. He knew the subconscious mind was powerful and if he wrote down the questions his subconscious mind would continue to work on the answers.

Creativity is defined by Webster as "creative ability or intellectual inventiveness." This is a skill that everyone has to some extent. There are ways to improve your ability to create and generate new ideas. Not everyone can be a great artist or a creative genius, but it makes sense to make the most of the potential we are given.

Brainstorming is an extremely good way at practicing creativity. A brainstorm can work with an individual or a group. This technique requires the generation of as many ideas as quickly as possible to solve a problem.

It does not matter how outlandish an idea might be, all ideas are written down. The ideas need to be written down, and a time limit should be imposed for accepting ideas. If this is a group brainstorm, an individual should be appointed as recorder to write down the ideas. If this is an individual project, the person should write as the thoughts come. Remember the less judgment of ideas the greater the number of ideas generated. Although many of the ideas may be unreasonable and ineffective, they may lead you to the idea that will really work. It is helpful to set a goal for the number of ideas you wish to generate. This will give you something to work toward, and may unleash the perfect solution.

Journal your thoughts for future use. This includes writing down dreams, insights, experiences, quotes, problems with friends, and any other information that is pertinent to you. This should have some kind of organization so you can look back on it periodically. You may find the answer to a problem in last month's dream, so remember to review these personal logs frequently. This system will compliment the complex subconscious mind, and allow you to retrieve from this boundless resource.

Allow your ideas to develop and follow through on them. It is said that a good idea is worth fifty cents, and the plan to implement that plan is worth millions of dollars. It has been said another way as well: Anyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It is the man who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it that changes the world.

As you learn about creativity and the techniques that work best for you, a whole new world will open up to you. Creativity can be helpful in problem solving, dealing with people, and creating success in all areas of your life. Take the time to tap into your greatest power, the power of the imagination and increase your creativity in all areas of life.

Sometimes when we face a problem we struggle with our thoughts so much, our energy is spent. The stress that comes with this kind of problem solving also affects how we think. If the anxiety level becomes too high, parts of the brain will shut down and it is impossible to generate the ideas needed to deal with the problem. When faced with too much stress the mind goes into the "fight or flight" mode. This allows the mind to deal with only two alternatives, fighting the opponent or fleeing the danger.

You can avoid these mind numbing emotions by altering your environment. When you feel yourself getting stressed out or you begin losing your focus, walk away from everything for a change of scenery. Allow yourself to focus on another task. Some people, golf, juggle, or exercise to get away from their mind blocks. When you return to this important task, you will have shifted from your stressed out mind set to a new relaxed and ready to conquer attitude.

Blaise Pascal said, "Almost all of the problems of mankind arise from the inability to be alone with oneself in a room for any period of time."

Getting away from the problem allows your subconscious mind to problem solve, while your conscious mind is occupied with other things. Sometimes you will find the solution to your problem in your sleep. This is when the subconscious mind is most active. Basically, all your experiences and learnings are stored in this part of the brain. This is where your creativity gets turbo-powered. If you can tap into this force you will have creative powers beyond your wildest expectations.

Another good way to help your creativity is to read. That is right, read.

You see when you read your subconscious mind is automatically creating pictures whether you like it or not. So develop a passion for reading and watch your creativity increase. Both Einstein and Da Vinci were avid readers. Model this behavior and watch your creativity increase.

Einstein said that he would simply imagine it so and then go about to prove it. In other words the creative process occurred before the experiments.
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"The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for."

Zig Ziglar
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Generosity Want to give yourself an instant boost? Be generous to someone and see how great it makes you feel.

Have you been treated rudely, or been the victim of greedy manipulation? Be generous to someone and see how quickly you get beyond that bitter, negative mind-set.

Want to make this a really great day? Then spend it taking advantage of opportunities to give of yourself to others.

You don't need to have a lot of money or spare time or expertise in order to be generous. There are opportunities for sincere generosity in every situation, all day long.

With an attitude of generosity, the experience of life will rise to a higher level of richness and beauty. Each moment lived with generosity will be a moment lived with real and lasting joy.

Give of yourself. And be amazed at how very much real value you receive.

Ralph Marston
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"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

2009-05-11T19:16:00.000-05:00

"A dream is a vision, a goal is a promise. You can keep your promises to yourself by remaining flexible, focused, and committed."

Denis Waitley
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The Rewards and Risks of Personal Freedom

By Charlie Badenhop

One of the first things I noticed about my newly purchased parrot, was that he couldn't fly. Chico's wings had been clipped and he was stuck here on earth just like us humans.

Once the weather turned nice I took Chico and sat him on a branch of a tree in my backyard, hoping to make him happier. At first he seemed confused. He walked back and forth on the branch looking like an agitated father pacing back and forth in the maternity waiting room. I was surprised to see that he didn't flap his wings in an attempt to fly. Somehow he knew he was incapable. I always wondered how he knew such a thing.

One day, while sitting on his branch, Chico got way more agitated then he had been when I first took him outside months ago. He was pacing back and forth and talking up a storm. Then all of a sudden, he stopped pacing, let out a spine tingling scream, and started madly flapping his wings for the first time ever. About three seconds later, he lifted off from the branch like the space shuttle at Cape Canaveral! I was amazed and shocked. Little did I know his feathers had been growing back in, and just like a sly convict, Chico had been biding his time until the moment was ripe for escape!

Chico made his break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon, and by late Monday night I knew he was not coming home. Finally, on Tuesday evening Chico returned, but stayed way out of reach. I talked to him and showed him some food, but to no avail. Then I took his cage inside so he would not relate coming back to getting locked up again. Finally, I made him a firm promise that if he did come back I would let him out every day the weather was nice. Shortly after making my solemn oath, he flew onto my shoulder and I took him upstairs.

From that day on, whenever the weather was good I would let him out early and he would fly around and be back before dark. This routine lasted for about two months and then suddenly Chico became ill. The vet said that he had contracted a disease from the pigeons in the neighborhood. Within a few days he died, and I mourned his loss.

Just once the thought crossed my mind that if I had not set him free to fly every day, he would still be alive. It was then that I realized that the quality of one's life is much more important than the number of years one lives. What sense is there in being a bird if you can't fly?

Chico made his initial break for freedom on a late Monday afternoon in April. When will you make yours? You too can take a chance when the conditions are right, knowing you too in your own way, were built to fly. If you don't set yourself free, what will be the purpose of your life?

I would suggest that the quality of one's life is dependant on feeling one's essence, and living the design that is you. If you are a fish, your life needs to be all about swimming. If you are a bird, your life needs to be all about flying and spreading your message to all that you meet along the way. What sense is there in being you, if you don't really let yourself free and express your heart?
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"Goals are incredible important...or impotent. You decide.

Doug Firebaugh
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"To Have Compassion For Others, You Must Have Compassion For Yourself"

Self-compassion is the ability to acknowledge your shortcomings, your vulnerability and your humanness----yet still perceive yourself as the lovable person that you are.

You can never truly give to another if you feel empty inside. You can force yourself to give, but your giving won't be genuine and you will feel resentful. This is why it's so important to care for yourself first.

No one can give a gift they don't already possess.

So, practice self-compassion today. Meet your own deepest needs. Take time for yourself, by listening to your inner voice and feeling your own emotions. Know that they are okay because you are a person and you are only human.

~author unknown~
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"Setting goals is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your personal, professional and financial success. Goals are like a road map to your target destination. Each goal accomplished is another mile behind you on the way to where you want to be."

Mark Victor Hansen

2009-03-13T21:18:00.000-05:00

"Your ability to delay gratification in the short-term will determine your financial success in the long-term."

Brian Tracy
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POTENTIALIZE YOUR OPPORTUNITIES

by Mark Victor Hansen
I remember watching the movie "Dead Poet's Society" when it was first released in the theatres. Robin Williams's character is a professor who wants his students to think for themselves, so he makes them stand on top of their desks to view things in a different way. That really stuck with me.

When you think about it, people hardly ever look at the world through their own eyes. They get their information filtered through the eyes of others, whether they're the eyes of the media, politicians, friends or family. But what looks like one thing to someone may look totally different to someone else. To really see what's going on in the world, to see what opportunities exist for us, we have to see the world through our own eyes in our own way.

We all need to recognize and potentialize opportunities when we see them. What do I mean by potentialize? When something has potential it has power, it expresses possibility, it is influential and effective.

As we go through each day we should be on the lookout for any situation that expresses possibility. Any situation. To attain the success you desire you have to recognize possibility everywhere and then stretch and flex your mind to create million-dollar ideas. And you're not limited to just one. The more you practice seeing the possible in daily life, the better you will become. Then you take those small possibilities and potentialize them and create great monetary abundance.

We all have the ability to potentialize opportunities and create phenomenal wealth. And the amazing thing is that there are multiple possibilities for potentalizing in every situation! Just because someone comes up with a new way to do something doesn't mean that there isn't yet another way to do it. We have each been blessed with individual characteristics and abilities that no one else has. We each have our own special way of doing things. And that means we each have the ability to potentialize in our own unique way.

'Be grateful for your problems, for they stimulate an 'I-can-solve-it' new attitude.'

Mark Victor Hansen
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"The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."

Abraham Lincoln
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.

Meditations For Women
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"Make your decisions for your tomorrows not just your todays."

Patricia Fripp

2009-03-07T19:41:00.000-06:00

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.

Hans Hofmann
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ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS

by Jim Rohn

While most people spend most of their lives struggling to earn a living, a much smaller number seem to have everything going their way. Instead of just earning a living, the smaller group is busily working at building and enjoying a fortune. Everything just seems to work out for them. And here sits the much larger group, wondering how life can be so unfair, so complicated and unjust. What's the major difference between the little group with so much and the larger group with so little?

Despite all of the factors that affect our lives - like the kind of parents we have, the schools we attended, the part of the country we grew up in - none has as much potential power for affecting our futures as our ability to dream.

Dreams are a projection of the kind of life you want to lead. Dreams can drive you. Dreams can make you skip over obstacles. When you allow your dreams to pull you, they unleash a creative force that can overpower any obstacle in your path. To unleash this power, though, your dreams must be well defined. A fuzzy future has little pulling power. Well-defined dreams are not fuzzy. Wishes are fuzzy. To really achieve your dreams, to really have your future plans pull you forward, your dreams must be vivid.

If you've ever hiked a fourteen thousand-foot peak in the Rocky Mountains, one thought has surely come to mind "How did the settlers of this country do it?" How did they get from the East Coast to the West Coast? Carrying one day's supply of food and water is hard enough. Can you imagine hauling all of your worldly goods with you... mile after mile, day after day, month after month? These people had big dreams. They had ambition. They didn't focus on the hardship of getting up the mountain.

In their minds, they were already on the other side – their bodies just hadn't gotten them there yet! Despite all of their pains and struggles, all of the births and deaths along the way, those who made it to the other side had a single vision: to reach the land of continuous sunshine and extraordinary wealth. To start over; where anything and everything was possible. Their dreams were stronger than the obstacles in their way.

You've got to be a dreamer. You've got to envision the future. You've got to see California while you're climbing fourteen thousand-foot peaks. You've got to see the finish line while you're running the race. You've got to hear the cheers when you're in the middle of a monster project. And you've got to be willing to put yourself through the paces of doing the uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable and until you realize your dreams.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.

William James
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Would you think differently about your problems if they were not yours, but instead were being experienced by someone else? Consider for a moment the most difficult problem you currently face. Now, imagine that you're not the person experiencing the problem, that you're only an observer.
In such a situation, what advice would you give to the person experiencing the problem? Would you advise that person to become depressed? Of course not. Would you advise that person to run and hide from the problem? Certainly not! Would you advise that person to take positive, productive, sustained actions that will deal with the problem? Sure you would.
So, is that what you're doing? Are you following your own advice? Or have you allowed the problem to take over your thinking?
Your problems do not define you. You can detach yourself from them just as surely as if they were being experienced by someone else. Step back and look objectively at the challenges you face. Don't allow your problems to cloud your thinking just because you're the person who happens to be experiencing them. Think clearly, act decisively and keep moving yourself positively forward.
Ralph Marston
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"If you're laser beam focused on your "to do" list at the expense of seeing what is happening around you, you may be able to check items off the list and not meet your desired outcome."

Jim Canterucci

2009-02-22T20:02:00.000-06:00

"Do yourself a favor and master the art of money. Treat it as an honored guest in your life, one who will quickly flee if you do not treat her well, but one who will stay and enrich your life beyond measure if you treat her with care and respect."

Philip E. Humbert
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7 KEYS FOR JOYFUL LIVING!

by Chris Widener

Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. If there were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers of this Ezine, it would be joy in everything they do!

Know your purpose. Nothing will bring you joy more than knowing what it is that you are about on this earth. Not knowing brings sadness, wondering, fear and lack of fulfillment. Above all, find out what your unique purpose is here on this earth - then fulfill it! As you do, you will experience joy!

Live purposefully. This is a follow up to number one. It is one thing to know your purpose, but then you need to live according to that purpose. This is a matter of priorities. Let your actions and schedule reflect your purpose. Don't react to circumstances and let them cause you to live without your purpose fully in site. Living without your purpose will cause frustration. Living purposefully will bring you deep satisfaction and joy!

Stretch yourself. Don't settle into the status quo. That will leave you unfulfilled. Always look to stretch yourself. Whatever you are doing, stretch yourself to do more! Stretching yourself will break the limits you have set for yourself and will cause you to find joy in your expanded horizons!

Give more than you take. It brings happiness to accumulate. It brings joy to give away. Sure, getting the car you worked hard for will bring you a sense of satisfaction and even happiness. But it won't bring you joy. Giving something away to the less fortunate will bring you deep, abiding joy.

Surprise yourself and others too. The words here are spontaneity and surprise! Every once in a while, do the unexpected. It will cause everybody to sit back and say, "Wow, where did that come from?" It will put a little joy in your life, and theirs.

Indulge yourself sometimes. Too much indulgence and you are caught in the happiness trap; looking for the next purchase, celebration, etc., to bring you a little "happiness high." But if you will allow yourself an infrequent indulgence as a reward for a job well done and a life well lived, you will appreciate the indulgence and experience the joy of it.

Laugh a little - no, a lot! Most people are just too serious. We need to laugh a little - no, a lot! Learn to laugh daily, even if you have to learn to laugh in bad situations. This life is to be enjoyed! The next time you go to the movie rental store, get a comedy and let loose! Let yourself laugh!

Joy can be yours! Look for it, pursue it and enjoy it!
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"Earn all you can, give all you can, save all you can."

John Wesley
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With Each Day...

May I positively impact the life of another, and smile more than frown;

Put service and compassion before my own renown;

Meet adversity with courage, sorrow with hope;

Have Faith to face uncertainty, and resiliency to cope;

With joy as my companion, and truth as my guide;

May I walk the path of excellence, gaining knowledge with each stride;

To see the good that lies within each person in suppression;

And through love and understanding, bring it forth into expression;Though this day may bring new challenges, yet not manifest;

May I ever be reminded how much my life is blessed.

Robert Akers
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"Design your financial future in every respect, and then make a plan to achieve it."

Brian Tracy

2009-02-08T18:47:00.000-06:00

"Everything depends upon execution; having just a vision is no solution.

"Stephen Sondheim
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The Principle Of Agreement

Dale Carnegie, author of the classic, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" <http://www.amazon.com> eloquently taught that there is no winning an argument. It makes sense, doesn't it? After all, if you lose on merit, you've lost. However, even if you win on merit (showing the other person that you are right and they are wrong), you most likely still won't get them to take the action you want. Why? Because their ego; that all-important decision-making instrument indigenous to the human being, has been insulted. When that is the case, know that although you may be able to convince, rarely will you persuade.

So, what do you do when the other person says something you know is wrong? Well, agree. At first, anyway. This can be a wonderful way to disarm the person who, most likely, expects you to argue. But you aren't doing that. You are agreeing. And, this leads to what I call The Principle of Agreement: "Nobody is going to argue...with himself." Think of it - after agreeing with him or her, might they respond by defiantly saying, "No, you're wrong, I was wrong!" :-) I don't think so.

Now, at this point, you'll go into some of the other methods of positive persuasion we've discussed often and will continue to. (If you've been printing out your issues you can go back and find plenty; certainly too many to list here.) A couple of good "bridge phrases" you can use are "I'm wondering if..." or "Here's what I'm thinking..." and then make your suggestion. The key is, you've effectively brought down the other person's defenses and made them much more amenable to your point of view. Positive persuasion is now within reach.

Do you agree? If not, agree anyway...before you persuade me otherwise, that is. :-)

Bob Burg Proper credit of "Bob Burg is author of "Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of Positive Persuasion"
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"Some people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you've signed up for a season, see it through. You don't have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through.

" Jim Rohn
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"The Person You Choose To Be With Should Support Your Dreams and Respect Your Values"

Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. Nobody wants to be with someone who rejects them for what they believe, or judges them for certain traits of their personality.

You're entitled to your own decisions, beliefs, goals, etc. When someone truly loves you, they love the whole package you come in. This includes the physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and values that come along with you.

After all, that's the true beauty of being an individual. And, the one you choose to be with should be grateful.

-Meditations For Women-
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"Follow up and follow through until the task is completed, the prize won."

Brian Tracy

2009-02-04T22:31:00.000-06:00

"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."

Alexander Graham Bell
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WHY ACCEPTING CHANGE IS VITAL TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

by Connie Podesta

Like it or not, change is an integral part of today's business climate. Those employees who embrace and initiate change will thrive, while those who complain and fear change may be headed for the unemployment line.

Employers feel strongly about the need to have employees who are successful change agents for their team and their organization as a whole. What exactly is a "change agent?" An agent is someone who represents the interests of another person or organization, and his or her job is to take care of business and make sure everything goes smoothly. Thus, a change agent helps take care of an employer's business by facilitating change.

Are you a change agent for your organization? Can others count on you to make sure things go smoothly? Do you continue to take care of business in the midst of change?

Although some employees have been conditioned to fear change, we must not lose sight of the fact that change is normal, and most of us will experience unpredictable changes in both our personal and professional lives. In the workplace, changes can occur as a result of new thinking, advances in technology, innovation and progress, knowledge and communication, as well as mergers, takeovers, layoffs, and downsizing. These organizational changes can directly affect our professional lives as well as our personal lives. They may also lead to feelings of sadness, frustration, grief, and anger, especially when jobs are lost or worse, when an entire organization ceases to exist. So let's discuss how we can make this normal life experience-change-as positive and beneficial as possible.

What's Wrong with Change?

Employers want commitment to change when it's necessary. Knowing that, then, why are so many people resistant to it? The number one reason is fear, although very few people are willing to admit it. None of us want to acknowledge that we doubt our ability to integrate new ideas, use new technology, or adapt to new organizations. We don't even want to think about what's ahead: new management, new ways of doing things, new terminology, new titles, and new job description. Fear can have several components:

1. Fear of the unknown: What will happen to my organization, my job, my life, as I know it now? How secure is my future?

2. Fear of not being in control: What should I do? Should I just wait around while they make decisions that could seriously affect my life?

3. Fear of being inadequate: I know how to do this job now, but will I be able to do it as well as they expect me to when everything has changed? And if I can't, what happens then?

4. Fear of moving outside your personal comfort zone: I've been doing my job this way for years, and I'm very good at it. Why do we have to change what has worked so well for so long?

No matter which category your fear falls in, one thing is for sure. The more we fight and resist the change, the more painful and frightening the changes will be. Resisting doesn't keep a new idea from taking hold; it simply makes the process longer and more painful. Change will happen no matter what. We will handle it better when we learn to move with the change-not against it. Plus, this is definitely not the time to drag your feet because managers are not inclined to take employees by the hand and lead them through the change process.

Communication is Key:

There is no doubt that employees often view change from a different perspective than their supervisors. Many employees believe that management doesn't understand their side of the story, and managers often feel it is the employees who don't understand why the change is necessary. This is why communication is so vital during any change circumstance. It's been said that lack of communication is the number one reason why personal relationships can develop problems, and the same holds true for relationships between employers and employees. Change will require open communication on both sides. Unfortunately, fear has the power to freeze employees in their tracks and prevent them from expressing their ideas and opinions.

When faced with change we must always ask ourselves this important question: Does my resistance to change have anything to do with my own fears? That's a tough question and one that's not easy to answer honestly. It's natural to fear the unknown and lack of control. We know that we won't be quite as proficient at our tasks while we're in the process of learning to do things a new way. We know we will have to work a lot harder. Are we willing to let go of the present to embrace the future? We may not know what the future will bring, but we are responsible for what we bring to the future.

The Positive Side of Change

If you routinely describe your current job as boring, mundane, or menial, then perhaps a change is good for you. One of the most positive aspects of change is that it is never boring. On the contrary, it can create passion. And passion-and the excitement, creativity, and energy that accompany it-is the spark that keeps us going.

Passion could be called the charge for our life's batteries. Without that charge, it's hard to get our engines revved up. That igniting charge is sparked by the challenge of change-learning new things, meeting new people, growing as professionals, and taking risks that push us to reach our potential. None of that can happen unless and until we are willing to experience the fear that inevitably arises when we move out of our comfort zones. No risk, no fear; no fear, no passion; no passion, no fun.

If we want passion back in our lives, we must be willing to meet the challenge of change. What might that mean for you? Perhaps it might involve going back to school, learning how to work with a computer, working with a team, taking on new responsibilities, or redefining a career path. If you want to remain employable, you may have to change more than just your attitude and your reaction to change. You may have to change some of your ideas and goals to create a better future for yourself.

Embrace Upcoming Changes:

Many people are content to live their lives by playing it safe. If fear, pain, and hard work are prerequisites of change, it's easier to understand why some people are so dedicated to resisting it. They might be good at giving all the best-sounding reasons why this particular change is not right for the department, the organization, the team, or the customer. However, their underlying concern may be their fear about how the change will affect them-their job-their lives.

If you've been reacting negatively to change, it's important to modify your attitude and your behavior before it's too late. Think about what you really want. Comfort at all costs? The status quo? The good old days? If those are the aspects you desire-if that's what you're waiting for-then you will probably soon be out of a job. If, instead, you want challenge and welcome change, you will always be employable.
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"You will become as small as your controlling desire, or as great as your dominant aspiration." James Allen
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"If You Have Unresolved Family Conflicts, Lay Them To Rest"

When it comes to family, we all tend to carry unpleasant memories with us throughout our lives. If this goes unchanged we can become bitter and resentful.

If you have deep family issues that are hard to forgive and forget, make today the day you move forward. Put them behind you and try to be more positive about the time you have now. You can not change the bad things that have happened to you, but you can choose to stop letting them control you.

Life is too short to carry grudges that separate you from those people that you want near and dear to the heart.

~author unknown~
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"Emphasize everything and you emphasize nothing."

Herschell Gordon Lewis

2009-01-27T20:55:00.003-06:00

"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul." Douglas MacArthur
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ANCHOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS by Chris Widener

I heard a speaker recently who was talking about how to maintain strong relationships. As I listened to his basic principle, I realized that it is true in all of our life situations, be it work, family etc. And let's face it, relationships are what make the world go 'round. So strong healthy relationships will make your work more enjoyable, and prosperous, and will make your family and friend relationships better as well.

What was the principle? The speaker said that each point of connection is like an anchor in the relationship, and the more connections you have, the stronger the relationship will be. He calls one-connection relationships "Simplex," and multi-connection relationships, "Multiplex." The strongest relationships are multiplex.

There is also the idea that some connections are stronger than others and so you want as many connections as possible and you want those connections to be as strong as they can be as well. Confused? Let's put some legs on this. We'll take a business situation and we'll take a family situation to illustrate the principle.

Anchoring work relationships. Let's say you sell insurance. A guy walks in and says, "I would like to purchase some term life insurance." You have a simplex relationship. The connection is that you both want him to have insurance. As you get to know him better and get information from him, you realize that you have a multiplex relationship growing and the chance that your business relationship will grow is improving.

"You grew up in Iowa? Me too!" "You like to golf? Me too!" "Your wife and you like to go to the opera? So do we! We should go together sometime."

The multiple connections are anchoring your relationship.

Anchoring a family relationship. Let's take a marriage in trouble. Chances are that at one time, the relationship was multiplex. Because of time, work, and other stresses, the marriage has deteriorated to the point where both are thinking, "What did I marry this person for?" Or "Why do I stay?" The chances are that now the relationship is simplex. Maybe it is that the one connection is that they want to do right by the kids and so they "Tough it out." What is the answer? I believe that it is regaining a multiplex relationship. Work hard to make those other anchoring connections. Did you used to play tennis together before the kids came along? Go play tennis together on a regular basis. Do you both have a common interest in a specific cause or charity, but time hasn't allowed you to pursue it? Take the time! It will anchor your relationship again!

I think you get the point.

Take some time to think about your current relationships. Are they as multiplex as they can be or as they used to be? Think about the new relationships you will make in the coming weeks or months. Think of ways you can make them strong by finding multiple connections, securing deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

Make your relationships "multiplex" and you make them strong, with an anchor that will not let them go!
******************************************** "I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious." Albert Einstein
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Make use

The very best way to be thankful for the good things you have is to make use of them. The essence of each blessing is the positive possibility it holds.

The best way to be thankful for the love in your life is to live and express that love in each moment. Give your time, your thoughts, your presence and your feelings to the people you love, for those are the gifts that will truly be treasured.

The best way to be thankful for your life is to make something of it. Every day you have the opportunity to live with meaning and with purpose.

Every day you have the opportunity to make positive, beneficial use of the goodness that fills your world. The more of that goodness you appreciate and utilize, the more that goodness will grow.

The way to sincerely give thanks is to give your energy to the positive possibilities. For you have the power to bring those possibilities to life.

And to do so is, after all, the greatest form of gratitude. For it acknowledges the richest blessings, and makes them more and more.

Ralph Marston
****************************************** "The mark of a truly civilized man is confidence in the strength and security derived from the inquiring mind." Felix Frankfurter

2009-01-12T18:43:00.000-06:00

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.

Martha Washington
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HOW TO SQUEEZE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TIME

by Brian Tracy

How do you start your day? Years ago I started planning mine by writing everything down I would have to do, the night before. I found that drawing up your list the night before prompts your subconscious to work on your plans and goals while you sleep. When you wake up, you feel ready to tackle your challenges.

When prioritizing and planning your time, consider the following points:

Key questions

What is the highest value-added action I can do? What can I, and only I, do that I've done well before to make a difference? Why am I on the payroll?

The answers to these questions help identify all that needs to be done and in what order. That, in turn, will bolster personal productivity.

Values

Decide what's important to you, and in what order. Make sure your values don't conflict with work. Energy spent worrying diminishes your abilities.

Consequences

Every action has consequences - good and bad. Consider what rewards you'd reap by completing a task. Then, compare those rewards with the consequences of putting it aside. This process makes it easier to see which goals have a higher value.

The Pareto Principle

Vilfredo Pareto, a 19th-century engineer, argued that 20% of what you do accounts for 80% of the value. When considering the importance of a task, ask yourself whether it's among the 20% that creates the most value.

Urgency vs. Importance

An unexpected phone call or a drop-in visitor may be urgent, but the consequences of dealing with either may not be important in the long run.

The urgent is other-oriented; it's caused by someone else. Important things are self-directed and have the greatest value for you.

The Limiting Step

Standing between you and what you want to achieve is the limiting step. That's the bottleneck that determines how quickly you can reach your goal. It's important to identify that step and focus single-mindedly on getting that one thing done.

A Written Plan

Lists of goals, tasks and objectives are of no help unless they're written. Putting your plans on paper makes a seemingly elusive goal more concrete. There's a connection that takes place between the brain and the hand. When you don't write it down, it's fuzzy, but as you write it and revise it, it becomes clear.

Visualization

See yourself doing what you need to get done. Visualization trains the subconscious to focus on completing tasks. Say, for example, that you want to begin each morning by exercising. Visualizing yourself doing sit-ups and push-ups the night before conditions the mind to do those the next day. When you prime you mind, it wakes you up even before the alarm clock goes off.

Remember you are a winner and preparation goes a long way in helping you achieve all your goals.
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Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott
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"Anything that you should have done, but didn't, ties you to your past"

Is your mental and emotional clutter getting in the way of a fulfilling life? It's time to clean out the "need-to's," "have-to's," and "ought-to's," from your past. When you have regrets it's tough to move forward and grow.

Put the past in the past. Return anything you borrowed. Make apologies where needed. Get your bills up to date. Send the card or gift that you forgot to send. Make the phone call you need to make.

Taking care of these things cleans your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor.

Now, take a deep breath; look ahead. Both your conscience, and your future vision, is clear.
-Meditations For Women-
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Vocabulary enables us to interpret and to express. If you have a limited vocabulary, you will also have a limited vision and a limited future.

Jim Rohn

2009-01-06T19:26:00.000-06:00

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt
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A SENSE OF URGENCY IS TREMENDOUS

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

Perhaps my findings are not the only solution, but with all my heart I believe the fires of greatness in our heart can be kept aglow only after we develop a sense of urgency and importance for what we are doing. I mean a sense of urgency to the extent that we feel it is a matter of life and death; and it is a matter of life and death, for in growing we are alive and in quitting we are dying in a sense. If you don't believe this, talk to anyone who has lost the sense of urgency of getting things done and has been drifting in complacency, mediocrity and failure. If you are without a sense of urgency in your work, you know what I mean.

A sense of urgency is that feeling that lets you know yesterday is gone forever, tomorrow never comes. TODAY is in your hands. It lets you know that shirking today's task will add to wasted yesterdays and postponing today's work will add to tomorrow's burden. The sense of urgency causes you to accomplish what today sets before you. Thank God for the sense of urgency that can change a dull, shabby existence into a sparkling life. Right now, ask God to give you a sense of urgency. Believe that He did, and then act accordingly.

Tremendously,

Charles "T" Jones
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Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. Henry James
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"Practice in The Silence"

In his 1918 work, "The Power of Concentration" (re-published by Mike Litman, <http://www.powerofconcentration.net/>), the author, Theron Dumont wrote, "It is necessary to be silent before you can speak wisely." True enough, as stated. But then he goes on to write something that we've mentioned in several past issues, though I believe he says it much better and more powerfully than I have.

According to Dumont, "The person who is really alert and well poised and able to speak wisely under trying circumstance, is the person who has practiced in the silence."

I see two different interpretations - or levels - regarding what Mr. Dumont wrote:

#1 The silence itself must be practiced. In other words, how difficult is it for most people (myself included) to remain silent after hearing someone say something with which you disagree. Don't you just want to spring back with an answer? Well, what happens when you do that? There are several possible results, amongst which are:

A. You didn't understand exactly what the other person was really saying but, instead, allowed your personal belief system/paradigm/world model to interpret it for you, thus you responded to something the other person didn't actually mean.

B. You answer without first forming a clear idea as to what you want to say and how you can best say it so, even your answer lacks the meaning you would have given it had you taken a moment to think it out.

C. You cause the other person to resent you for jumping down his/her throat the very nanosecond they finished their sentence.

None of these options makes for effective and persuasive communication. For this alone, it seems as though it would be a great idea for all of us to practice (getting into) the silence. In other words, practice holding our tongues until we've first allowed silence to buffer the response.

The second interpretation I see of Mr. Dumont's statement however is, I believe, the more meaningful. In "practicing in the silence" he is teaching us to be comfortable in the silence and even allowing the silence to be our guide. There is actually wisdom within the silence.

He writes, "Speech interferes with the focusing powers of the mind, as it withdraws the attention to the external and therefore is hardly to be compared with that deep silence of the subconscious mind, where deep thoughts, and the silent forces of high potency are evolved.

So, as an exercise for this week, perhaps we can all keep within our awareness the goal to practice being silent before speaking, to practice not only being silent, but to practice *in* the silence.

Bob BurgBob Burg is author of"Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of PositivePersuasion"
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Willpower is the key to success. Successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to over-come apathy, doubt or fear.

Dan Millman

2009-01-04T19:23:00.000-06:00

"Don't wait for an employer, friend, or mentor to show appreciation for your work. Take pride in your own efforts on a daily basis."

Denis Waitley
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People in our Lives

by Catherine Pulsifer

I sat reflecting on the past year when my friend Charley came into the room. Charley took one look at my face and she could tell I was off in another world. Charley immediately snapped me out of my thoughts by saying, "you have that look on your face!". I immediately laughed and said, "Oh Charley, I was just reflecting on the past year".

Charley has always had the ability of drawing everything out of me. She can read my face and she knows when I am deep in thought; she knows when I am upset; she knows when I am happy. She sat down and said, "Tell me what your were thinking".

"Well Charley", I replied, "I was listening to a song on the radio that asked what have you done over the last year. I was thinking about the last year. When I reflect on the year, I have had such good fortune, with a few bumps along the way. Charley, at the beginning of the year my life was in such turmoil, challenges with my work, challenges financially, major decisions that I had to make and now here we are at the end of the year and so much has happened".

Charley immediately focused my thoughts and asked, "Tell me about the three things that impacted you the most during this year"?

I sat thinking if I had to pick only three things that impacted me what would they be? After a few minutes, I looked Charley straight in the eye and said, "Okay here are the three things that impacted me the most: 1. My family. I realized they are the most important part of my life. Throughout the year I had many challenges, but my family were always there offering support and encouragement. My husband. He understands and supports me even when I perhaps don't deserve such support. I have great children who make me proud. My parents, my sister and brothers are always there for me no matter what is happening in my life. 2. My friends. Over the years I have shared my dreams and my goals with my friends. Some goals I have realized and other goals I have not. But friends like you Charley always supported and encouraged me. It really has made a difference. As you know, I am going to make some major changes in my life in the coming year realizing a goal that is about 5 years behind but is finally coming to realization. A goal that will take me many miles away from my dear friends like you Charley but you still supported and encouraged me. 3. My colleagues. I have worked with some amazing people over the last year. People of whom I had a different perception. But, once I worked with them I realized how wrong my perception was. Sometimes, we past judgment on people and we really don't realize what they are all about. This year, I had many of my perceptions change. I have been very, very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with some excellent people over the last year.

Also Charley, the people who I have met through my website. People like M. K; Claire; Jackie; Josh; and others who have contributed to my website. They have truly had an impact on my life. They have shared their talents and contributed to my site not expecting anything in return only to help make a positive contribution to other peoples lives."

Charley smiled and said, "Do you realize that everything you have said has one thing in common"?

"What are you saying, Charley?" I asked.

She replied, "The one common denominator is people. The material things in your life, nor your actual job have had the most meaning in your life. It is the people in your life that have had the biggest impact. People have made the biggest difference in your life!"

I smiled. Leave it to Charley to see this and point it out to me. Material things are not important, and while our jobs provide the means, the important things in life are the people who touched our lives.
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"Fifteen to thirty minutes of training a day will make any employee a world class expert in five years."

Jeffrey Gitomer
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Dare To Dance Outside the Lines

Today is the day to give yourself permission to break the rules, to move outside the boundaries of your usual way of looking at things. For the time being, forget about practical, realistic ideas. Dare to go beyond the self-censorship that comes from worrying about what other people think.

When you follow your heart and dismiss unimportant "shoulds," you open the door to creative, spiritual and personal breakthroughs. Try it....today!

-Meditations for Women-
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"The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right."

Edward Simmons

2008-12-31T13:43:00.000-06:00

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.

Margaret Fuller
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If and When Were Planted

By Catherine Pulsifer

How is "if and when" planted? The short stories below are examples of planting "if and when":

Karen, one of my coworkers was stressed about where she was living. She hated the apartment she was in and complained every day about it. One day over coffee, I asked her why she didn't look for another apartment - it seemed like an easy solution to me. Karen's reply to this was, "I will look for another apartment when I come back from vacation."

Sam hated his job. He dreaded getting up in the morning. He hated the work he was doing and it started to take a toll on him. He had a love for photography and was currently taking a two-year course to obtain his certificate. Every night he complained about his work. After listening to his complaints for a month, I asked him why he didn't finish his course and start a small business doing photography on the weekends. His reply, "if only I had more time to finish my course. When I finish my course I will start a business."

Sarah had saved all her life and now was retired and living comfortably. The house she bought had a dishwasher in it; however, the dishwasher was old and didn't work. She hated doing dishes, and every time we visited with her she complained about doing the dishes. One night, I asked her, "Why don't you buy a new dishwasher Sarah." Her reply, "I have been thinking about it, if they would only come on sale I would."

Larry worked for a company that allowed early retirement. Larry had both the years of service and his age, which allowed him to retire, but at a reduced pension. He was having difficulty coping with all the changes that were being made in his work. He had a couple of mild attacks, not a heart attack but similar to one. He called me and we talked for hours. I was worried about the stress of his job and the effects it was having on his health. "Why don't you retire Harry? Do something that you have always wanted to do," I asked. Harry's reply to my question was, "If only I was older then I would get my full pension." I got bolder in my conversation with him, "But Harry, you have your house paid off, you have no bills, the kids are grown up. You could sell your house and downsize, it really is not worth your health is it? Harry then said, "When the summer comes maybe I will."

All of these stories have the same theme running through them. There is a proverb that says it all: "If and when were planted, and nothing grew."

Now a year later, Karen is still living in the apartment she hates! Sam is still complaining about his job and still has not finished his course! Sarah is still washing dishes! Larry is still working and his health is not what it used to be!

The sad part of all of these stories is that all of these people had a lot of stress in their lives that they could have taken action to reduce. But, all of them defeated themselves by thinking "if" or "when". Life is too short for "if's and when's".

The next time you are in a stressful situation and you find yourself saying or thinking - "if or when" - remember the saying, "If and when were planted and nothing grew!" Change your thinking and take action, so that you can reduce your stress right now.

Quotes on procrastination:

"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead." Og Mandino

"The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow." Author Unknown

"Someday is not a day of the week." Author Unknown

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." Spanish Proverb
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"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."

Victor Hugo
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Patience and understanding Here's something to keep in mind as you go through this hectic day. The person who benefits most from your patience is you. Yes, you'll come across many people who are rude, annoying and self-centered. But does it really serve any positive purpose for you to sink to their depths of negativity?

Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience.

Patience and understanding will take you to places where anger, frustration, confusion and anxiety can never reach. Patience and understanding put you in a position of real power and effectiveness.

Practice patience, and you will build real strength. Live with patience and understanding, and a whole new world of valuable opportunities will open up to you.

There's nothing to be gained by reacting to rudeness and anxiety with more rudeness and anxiety of your own making. Respond instead with patience and understanding, and you'll make your world a much better place.

Ralph Marston
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"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent."

Victor Hugo

2008-12-11T18:09:00.000-06:00

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one...
Eleanor Roosevelt
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THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Author Unknown
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"The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."

Maya Angelou
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FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

by Steve Goodier

Author Joseph Campbell often talked about "following your bliss." I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who does just that. He sings while he drives. That's right... sings! And I don't mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear! All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. "I'm a professional singer," he asserted. "I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day.

His "bliss" is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. You see, people line up to ride his bus. They even let other busses pass by so they can ride with the "singing bus driver." They love it!

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy! He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Not everybody can identify a purpose in life. But when you do, and when you pursue it, you will be living the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what's more, you will be happy
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"Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied."

Pearl S. Buck

2008-12-08T09:03:00.000-06:00

"Life is so hard...unless you allow it to be easy… it will be whatever you expect it to be..."

Doug Firebaugh
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ACHIEVING SUCCESS BY EXPECTING SUCCESS

by Zig Ziglar

When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal--losing weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation--you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks your character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in your success... Carefully review your plan of action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.

Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve it!
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"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful."

Norman Vincent Peale
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The positive side With every ending comes also a new beginning. With every disappointment comes a new opportunity for success. With every mistake comes a new and valuable lesson to be learned. With every setback comes a new position from which to move forward.

With every frustration comes the energy to move to a higher level of achievement. With every challenge comes a new strategy for taking action.

With every time of darkness comes the chance to make a real difference by shining your own special light. With every sadness comes a deeper appreciation for the joys that life can hold.

With every difficulty comes a new level of strength to be gained. With every loss comes an increased determination to win.

Though life has many pitfalls and problems, there is a positive side to every one of them. Choose to see and live that positive reality, and no problem will be a problem for long.

Ralph Marston
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"Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and the demands to perform are high."

Jim Rohn

2008-11-11T18:47:00.000-06:00

Of all of these wondrous, challenging things with which we live, I hope you regard it a blessing to be alive in this great age of the world. . . . I hope you walk with gratitude in your hearts, really. Grateful people are respectful people. Grateful people are courteous people. Grateful people are kindly people. Be grateful.

Gordon B. Hinckley
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Lessons for Life - Gratitude

"Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

As I write this article, I’m filled with gratitude. Five years ago I was in a job I hated. Today, writing newsletter articles and sharing my experiences of self-care with you is part of my job - what a joy!

And though some days I can still get caught up in what I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do, all it takes is a few moments of reflection about what I have to be grateful for and my thoughts are completely turned around.

Two experiences over recents month have helped me to get into the right frame of mind.

During eight weeks of the winter I’m blessed with a volunteer opportunity at a program that provides dinner and shelter to those in need. While I started out three years ago as a dinner helper, I soon realized that my music could be a real gift to our guests and volunteers – infusing the atmosphere and creating opportunities for camaraderie, nostalgia, relaxation and joy. Not to mention lots and lots of singing.

Now my “job,” for eight Wednesday nights every winter, is to set up my guitar and songbook (complete with a list of songs that guests can thumb through to make requests) and fill the room with music. I absolutely love it.

I’ve noticed that many of our guests are often cheerful, friendly and helpful, and deeply appreciative of what they receive. With all they’re struggling within their daily lives – struggles I can only imagine - they manage to celebrate the moment, show kindness to others and express their gratitude.

The other mind-altering event was of course the devastating earthquake and resulting tsunami of December 26, 2004, that destroyed so many lives and has impacted the entire world.

The gifts of gratitude I receive from my awareness of both of these realities so different from my own are many. Whenever I’m outdoors in the Canadian winter weather and I notice myself thinking that it’s too cold or too wet I immediately express my gratitude that for me the experience is only brief and temporary. In light of all I’ve seen and heard about in the last few weeks, what do I have to complain about?

Tonight, when you’re getting ready to sleep, why not stop for a moment and make a list of everything YOU have to be grateful for. Here's a few to get you started.

I’m grateful to have a roof over my head. I'm grateful for my health. I’m grateful to have money in my wallet. I’m grateful to have food in my fridge. What would life be like without even one of those things? What else can you think of to be grateful for?

Use your list as a reminder when you get caught up in the "I DON’T have yet, what I HAVEN’T done yet and what I’ll probably NEVER have or NEVER do" mind set.

© Copyright Genuine Coaching Services.

All rights reserved.
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Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.

Eileen Caddy
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EACH DAY IS A GIFT

by Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said: "Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less."
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In the case of good books, the point is not how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you.

Mortimer J. Adler

2008-10-31T14:08:00.000-05:00

"It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself."

Muhammad Ali
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THE MAJOR KEY TO YOUR BETTER FUTURE IS YOU

by Jim Rohn

Of all the things that can have an effect on your future, I believe personal growth is the greatest. We can talk about sales growth, profit growth, asset growth, but all of this probably will not happen without personal growth. It's really the open door to it all. In fact I'd like to have you memorize a most important phrase. Here it is, "The major key to your better future is YOU."

Let me repeat that. "The major key to your better future is YOU." Put that someplace you can see it everyday, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the office, anywhere where you can see it everyday. The major key to your better future is YOU. Try to remember that every day you live and think about it. The major key is YOU.

Now, there are many things that will help your better future. If you belong to a strong, dynamic, progressive company, that would help. If the company has good products, good services that you are proud of, that would certainly help. If there were good sales aids, that would help, good training would certainly help. If there is strong leadership that will certainly help. All of these things will help, and of course, if it doesn't storm, that will help. If your car doesn't break down, that will help. If the kids don't get sick, that will help. If the neighbors stay half way civil, that will help. If your relatives don't bug you, that will help. If it isn't too cold, if it isn't too hot, all those things will help your better future. And if prices don't go much higher and if taxes don't get much heavier, that will help. And if the economy stays stable, those things will all help. We could go on and on with the list; but remember this, the list of things that I've just covered and many more - all put together - play a minor role in your better future.

The major key to your better future is you. Lock your mind onto that. This is a super important point to remember. The major key is you. A friend of mine has always answered when asked, "How do you develop an above average income?" He says, "Simple. Become an above average person. Work on you." My friend says, "Develop an above average handshake." He says, "A lot of people want to be successful, and they don't even work on their handshake. As easy as that would be to start, they let it slide. They don't understand." My friend says, "Develop an above average smile. Develop an above average excitement. Develop an above average dedication. Develop an above average interest in other people." He says, "To have more, become more." Remember; work harder on yourself than you do on your job. For a long time in my life, I didn't have this figured out.

Strangely enough, with two different people in the same company one may earn an extra $100 a month, and the other may earn a $1,000. What could possibly be the difference? If the products were the same, if the training was the same, if they both had the same literature, the same tools. If they both had the same teacher, the same compensation plan, if they both attended the same meetings, why would one person earn the $100 per month and the other person earn the $1000? Remember here is the difference... the difference is personal; inside, not outside, inside.

You see the real difference is inside you. In fact, the difference IS you. Someone once said, "The magic is not in the products. The magic is not in the literature. The magic is not in the film. There isn't a magic meeting, but the magic that makes things better is inside you, and personal growth makes this magic work for you.

The magic is in believing. The magic is in daring. The magic is in trying. The real magic is in persevering. The magic is in accepting. It's in working. The magic is in thinking. There is magic in a handshake. There is magic in a smile. There is magic in excitement and determination. There is real magic in compassion and caring and sharing. There is unusual magic in strong feeling and you see, all that comes from inside, not outside. So, the difference is inside you. The real difference is you. You are the major key to your better future.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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"A little faith will bring your soul to heaven; a great faith will bring heaven to your soul."

Charles Spurgeon
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Wholeness

Do something positive and valuable in one area of your life, and every other part of your life will benefit from it. The joy you create and experience in one setting will go with you into other situations.

By the same token, any negativity in one part of your life will exert unfavorable influence on other parts of your life. Everything that is a part of you is a part of all of you.

When you work to improve your skill at one task, it brings added confidence to all other tasks that you undertake. When you nurture a true sense of peace in your home life, your life at work becomes more calm and peaceful as well.

No single part of you can be separated from the wholeness of who you are. Each thought, each action, each feeling is connected to all others.

Your health, your career, your family, your faith, your learning, your interests and enjoyments are all intertwined with each other. And as such, you always have countless specific opportunities to nurture and lift up the whole of your life.

Give your very best to each and every aspect of your life. An abiding sense of excellence and integrity will add much to the whole of your world.

Ralph Marston
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"You don't have to see the whole staircase; just that the first step."

Martin Luther King, JR

2008-10-22T10:37:00.002-05:00

(p.s. i thought i would post twice today because i have been such a slacker!! please tell your friends to come read these wonderful wise words from others, remember i only share what others have shared with me!!)

sheri

History had demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heart-breaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.

B.C. Forbes
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"Questions as Leverage"

By Pamela Dunn

Do you ever feel like your conversation has turned into a wrestling match? When both parties are struggling to be heard and understood, both trying to meet their own agenda for the conversation, a discussion can fall apart in no time at all. So, today I offer you two simple rules of communication:

1. When you *push*, most people back away.

2. When you *invite*, most people step forward.

Now, what do these mean for you and your life? We all want to be heard and understood, and yet, sometimes we need an invitation to speak further. You might be surprised by what you can learn or do with a simple question. Many of my clients are learning to use questions as a way to encourage people to come forward, open up, share information and relate better. Here are a few examples to show you what I mean.

Tom brought an issue to his boss, looking to collaborate on a solution, but his boss simply looked back across the table and asked, "How are you going to fix it?" Instead of shrinking under his confrontational tone, Tom asked, "What would you do if you were in my shoes?" By simply inviting him to contribute, the entire discussion took on a better tone - and ended in a better solution.

When her business partner wanted to know her sales figures for the past month, Stella started to feel nervous. So instead of reacting, she - phrasing it with sincere concern and not defensiveness - asked for more information. "Why are you asking?" The real concern wasn't her performance; it was their new competitor. By inviting a larger perspective, they could address the real issue.

Jim and Gina have been looking at this push/invite dynamic in their marriage. When he comes home late, Gina is usually agitated and irritable. "What takes you so long to get home?" He used to back away emotionally when she did this, and things would be chilly between them for a couple hours. But last time, instead of defending himself, he asked, "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?" When he decided to skip the wrestling, they could relate again. She explained that she just missed him and wanted to spend more time together. There really wasn't anything to fight about.

Most people answer questions quickly and reflexively. But if you want to sidestep the wrestling and get on the same team, you have to slow down and really listen to people. And it helps to be curious. Can you hold your tongue long enough to wonder, "why do you ask?"

Something to reflect on: As you go through the week, make a conscious effort to ask more questions - even when you think you know the answer. Invite people to offer a little more information. "What makes you say that?", "What do you mean?", "Why do you like this job?", "What do you think?"

You might start seeing people differently when you get into their heads and explore their positions, motivations, and concerns. And when they see you expressing an interest, they just might tell you something new.
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The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.

Helen Keller
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Just For Today
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;the courage to change the things I can, andthe wisdom to know the difference.
I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once; I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.
I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
I will exercise my soul in three ways:
I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.
I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
I will be unafraid, especially when enjoying the beauty of nature.
I will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
~author unknown~
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I expect to pass through this life but once. Therefore, if there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do for another human being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.

William Penn

2008-10-22T10:34:00.000-05:00

"Time is the wisest counsellor."

Pericles
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"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is that we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes."

Charles Swindoll
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"As we advance in life we learn the limits of our abilities."

James A. Froude
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FORMULA FOR SUCCESS by Vic Johnson

"He conceives of, mentally builds up, an ideal condition of life; the vision of a wider liberty and a larger scope take possession of him; unrest urges him to action, and he utilizes all his spare time and means, small thought they are, to the development of his latent powers and resources."

- As A Man Thinketh

Read carefully these 52 words and you will find the keys to success in any endeavor.

Allen is describing a young person who is unschooled, mired in poverty and working in unhealthy conditions. He goes on to write that the young person follows the formula above and becomes a person of "world-wide influence and almost unequaled power." He finishes the story noting that "He has realized the Vision of his youth. He has become one with his Ideal."

It's a formula for success that's so simple that most people might overlook or discount its effectiveness. And it's built around one guiding principle - what Napoleon Hill called "a definiteness of purpose." That's what creates the unrest that moves us to action. That's what gives us the energy and drive to spend our spare time and means in developing ourselves to achieve at levels we've never reached before.

One prominent study found that 94% of the 3,000 people interviewed had no definite purpose for their lives. Is it any wonder then that so many people reach their twilight years feeling like life has passed them by? ife doesn't make the distinction, it simply rewards our choice. And the rewards may not always be what we had hoped, as this old poem from "Think and Grow Rich" illustrates:

"I bargained with Life for a penny And Life would pay no more, However I begged at evening When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer, He gives you what you ask, But once you have set the wages, Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial's hire, Only to learn, dismayed, That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid."

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson
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"It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done."

Samuel Smiles

2008-10-04T19:54:00.000-05:00

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
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LOVE, WEALTH, OR SUCCESS?

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat." "Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she said. "He's out." "Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!" The woman went out and invited the men in. "We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she wanted to know. One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!" "Let us agree to our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love Please come in and be our guest." Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?" The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success. The other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love. Wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

~author unknown~
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The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.

Benjamin Disraeli
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Dreams are more Your life's dreams are more than just places to go, people to know, things to acquire, and experiences to have. Your dreams express who you are. Behind every dream is a purpose. That purpose is, and always has been, yours.

And so, in a very real sense, every sincere dream you have is already yours. And you are already in the process of living it through.

The tokens and outer appearances of that dream may not yet be completely manifested. Yet within you, that dream is fully alive and real.

The more time, commitment and energy you give to that dream living on the inside, the more solid and apparent it will become on the outside. There is no need to wait for your dreams to be fulfilled, for you can begin this moment to fully live and express the essence of those dreams.

Your life's dreams are valuable not so much for what they get you, but rather for how they express your own unique purpose. Live that purpose in every moment, and you'll know that dreams really do come true.

Ralph Marston
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Remember your yesterdays, dream your tomorrows, live your todays.

Unknown

2008-09-29T11:22:00.001-05:00

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King
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The Beaver And His Goals

By Byron and Catherine Pulsifer

It started last fall when we had a beaver move in the small stream beside our house. He immediately began taking down small trees, and within a couple of weeks our small stream turned into a small pond. Everyday he added more to his damn and to his house.

We're sure you've all heard the saying, "busy as a beaver", but we never really appreciated it until we saw the work that this beaver did over a very short period of time.

With the stream now damned and his house built, we thought that would be the last of the beaver's busy activity as winter set in. But, to our amazement, he started chewing on a very large maple tree. And, we mean large. The tree is over 60 feet tall and is approximately five feet in diameter at the base. We were amazed at the challenge this beaver was attempting. Over the winter, he would come out and chew a bit more. He had setbacks as we faced major winter storms and freezing weather. We thought that he will never chew through this tree. But sure enough, when the weather allowed, he kept coming back and would chew a bit more.

With spring finally arriving, we went down to see the beaver's progress and sure enough the tree is going to come down soon!! Our beaver has now almost completely chewed around and through the entire tree.

The beaver's original goal was survival - to build a home for the winter. Working every day with that particular focus in mind, he achieved that goal. But the large maple tree he started chewing on last fall was a future goal - he wanted the large tree for the spring, to provide new food and branches to continue damning in anticipation of the spring thaw. And, even with the setbacks he faced over the winter, he never gave up.

Our point in sharing our beaver experience with you is to remind you that sometimes we have a goal to just survive, but we also need to set goals for tomorrow. And sometimes, just surviving seems to occupy all of our time - working everyday, looking after our family, going to school, and so forth. But, if you do just a little bit when times allows, and keep focused on your future goal, you will achieve it.

It is also vitally important that when faced with setbacks in achieving a goal, you need to stay focused and not let the setbacks discourage you.

We know what it means to face setbacks along the way because we were once just like the beaver. We worked it seemed just for our survival, but we also had a future goal and we constantly kept moving forward to achieve that goal. Sometimes, though, weeks would pass before we could work on our goal again, and many times we had to deal with some sort of setback. While at times we felt we would never reach our goal, we never gave up and we never lost our focus. But, over more than 5 years, we did achieve our goal.
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Author Unknown
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Today
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time at work.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my father would've done had he known that he wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think he would have called family members and a few close friends.
He might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think he would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, or for whatever his favorite food was.
I'm guessing; I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my wife/husband, children and parents often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
~author unknown~
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Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.
George Seaton

2008-09-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

A little faith will bring your soul to Heaven, but a lot of faith will bring Heaven to your soul.
Dwight Lyman Moody
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PUT SOME FIRE IN YOUR DESIRE
by Chris Widener

One of the keys to success is staying motivated because it is being motivated that keeps us going out the door every day to change the world and reach our destiny! It is our desire for a better life, for change in us and others, and for personal growth and fulfillment that moves our mountains! Desire!

Desire sure is a word with much more richness to it than the word "want" though they are essentially the same. "Want," though, sounds like you could take it or leave it. "Desire" says, "I have to have it!" Desire, is "want" with a fire under it!

Unfortunately, we tend to ebb and flow from want to desire, even with the same goal! One day we may be passionate about building our business or growing our relationships and then, the next day, we find ourselves simply in the "want" camp again. The key to keeping on is to re-light the fire under want so it roars into a raging fire of desire! Then, and only then, will we see the passion needed to be tenacious pursuers of our dreams! Keeping the fire lit is what will see you through the mountains and valleys of life and the journey you are on to your success!

So what do we do? We light the fire! Here are a few thoughts to help you build the fire of your desire!

The wood: Keep a clear mental picture of the goal. This is imperative. The picture of the goal is like the wood in a fire. It is the raw material. Know what your goal is and what it looks like.

The fuel: Keep a list, if simply just a mental one, of all of the benefits of pursuing and reaching your goal. Make them as "sense" oriented as possible. "See" the benefits. "Hear" them. "Touch" them. This is like the fuel that we add to a fire to get it going. Now all we need is a match.

The match: Keep yourself active! This is the match: Action! Even when you don't feel like it, get yourself to act and soon you will see the fire burning because you have again ignited the dream! The more desire you have the more the fire burns.

Eventually the fire will begin to die out. Here is where you throw the wood on again, pour on some fuel, and if need be, strike another match. I would encourage you to not let the fire go out though, because it is easier to continually throw wood and fuel on an already burning fire than it is to start one up again!
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Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket, then counting your blessings before they hatch.
Ramona C. Carroll
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Fuel for positive action

The way to deal with the negative energy of worry is to transform it into fuel for positive action. Instead of being obsessed with what might happen, put your focus on what you are doing.

When worry is the only outlet for your concerns, those concerns will grow more and more troubling. Not only does worry fail to address those concerns, it drains time and resources that could otherwise be put to productive use.

Focused, purposeful, effective action, on the other hand, points all your energy in a positive direction. And it soon creates a favorable momentum.

Because of that momentum, little annoyances and distractions that otherwise would have brought you down are transformed into compelling reasons to push forward. When you are focused on action, even the setbacks give you fuel for yet more action.

When you sense a worry on the horizon of your thoughts, stop and consider this. What positive, productive thing can you do, right here and now, that will drain the power from that worry before it ever gets to you?

Get in the habit of seeing that every concern, every possible situation, provides fuel for positive action. Use that fuel to move yourself forward, and no longer will worry be an issue.

Ralph Marston
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Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

2008-09-07T16:55:00.001-05:00

"When someone does something well, applaud! You will make two people happy."

Samuel Goldwyn
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5 Cool Ideas on How Not To Be

Michael Angelo Caruso

1. Remember that no one can hurt you. In my booklet, "Hmmm....Little Ideas With BIG Results," I write that it's important to adopt a mantra of "you can't hurt me" when dealing with people. No one can hurt you because you are not vulnerable or weak. In fact, you are perfect and getting better every day.

2. Victims subconsciously seek out people who intimidate them. Contrast the attitude of feeling "perfect and getting better every day" with an attitude of feeling like a victim. Victims get up every day and look for someone to victimize them. This type of activity validates their negative self-concept and becomes a wicked, self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. An aggressive handshake may be a form of intimidation. When someone presents himself to you with an overbearing manner and aggressive handshake, you might interpret these signals as a form of intimidation. In these cases, it's important to recognize what's happening and counter with your own set of signals.

4. Expose intimidators by using predictive dialogue. One effective technique for exposing an aggressive person is to immediately acknowledge the powerful handshake. You might say something like, "Wow! That really hurt!" The tenants of predictive dialogue tell us that the other person is likely to psychologically take a step backward and maybe even apologize for hurting you.

5. You can't change people. Above all, remember that you cannot make an intimidating person less intimidating. You can, however, make it more challenging for them to be intimidating when they are with you.
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"One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life."

Edward B. Butler
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Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

~author unknown~
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People living deeply have no fear of death.

Anais Nin

2008-08-29T21:18:00.000-05:00

"Entrepreneurship is the art of finding profitable solutions to problems."

Brian Tracy
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REAPING A MULTIPLE REWARD

by Jim Rohn

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That's one of life's great arrangements. In fact, it's an extension of the Biblical law that says that if you sow well, you will reap well.

Here's a unique part of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Not only does it suggest that we'll all reap what we've sown, it also suggests that we'll reap much more. Life is full of laws that both govern and explain behaviors, but this may well be the major law we need to understand: for every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.

What a concept! If you render unique service, your reward will be multiplied. If you're fair and honest and patient with others, your reward will be multiplied. If you give more than you expect to receive, your reward is more than you expect. But remember: the key word here, as you might well imagine, is discipline.

Everything of value requires care, attention, and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct, or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confused results.

Remember the law: "For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards." Learn the discipline of writing a card or a letter to a friend. Learn the discipline of paying your bills on time, arriving to appointments on time, or using your time more effectively. Learn the discipline of paying attention, or paying your taxes or paying yourself. Learn the discipline of having regular meetings with your associates, or your spouse, or your child, or your parent. Learn the discipline of learning all you can learn, of teaching all you can teach, of reading all you can read.

For each discipline, multiple rewards. For each book, new knowledge. For each success, new ambition. For each challenge, new understanding. For each failure, new determination. Life is like that. Even the bad experiences of life provide their own special contribution. But a word of caution here for those who neglect the need for care and attention to life's disciplines: everything has its price. Everything affects everything else. Neglect discipline, and there will be a price to pay. All things of value can be taken for granted with the passing of time.

That's what we call the Law of Familiarity. Without the discipline of paying constant, daily attention, we take things for granted. Be serious. Life's not a practice session.

If you're often inclined to toss your clothes onto the chair rather than hanging them in the closet, be careful. It could suggest a lack of discipline. And remember, a lack of discipline in the small areas of life can cost you heavily in the more important areas of life. You cannot clean up your company until you learn the discipline of cleaning your own garage. You cannot be impatient with your children and be patient with your distributors or your employees. You cannot inspire others to sell more when that goal is inconsistent with your own conduct. You cannot admonish others to read good books when you don't have a library card.

Think about your life at this moment. What areas need attention right now? Perhaps you've had a disagreement with someone you love or someone who loves you, and your anger won't allow you to speak to that person. Wouldn't this be an ideal time to examine your need for a new discipline? Perhaps you're on the brink of giving up, or starting over, or starting out. And the only missing ingredient to your incredible success story in the future is a new and self-imposed discipline that will make you try harder and work more intensely than you ever thought you could.

The most valuable form of discipline is the one that you impose upon yourself. Don't wait for things to deteriorate so drastically that someone else must impose discipline in your life. Wouldn't that be tragic? How could you possibly explain the fact that someone else thought more of you than you thought of yourself? That they forced you to get up early and get out into the marketplace when you would have been content to let success go to someone else who cared more about themselves.

Your life, my life, the life of each one of us is going to serve as either a warning or an example. A warning of the consequences of neglect, self-pity, lack of direction and ambition... or an example of talent put to use, of discipline self-imposed, and of objectives clearly perceived and intensely pursued.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn
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"When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business."

Mark Twain
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Grow into the challenges

When a new challenge arises, you might think that you need to first acquire some new skill or knowledge or resource in order to deal with that challenge. Yet in every case, you can begin with something you already have, and then steadily grow into the challenge. Along the way you will most certainly acquire new skills, develop new knowledge, gain access to new resources. That is a big part of the value of challenge.

Yet the best starting point is where you are. The sooner you begin, the sooner you will grow strong enough to move successfully through whatever challenge you face.

There is a path that leads directly to the most positive outcome you can imagine. And the first step on that path is right in front of you.

No matter how imposing the challenge, no matter how ambitious the goal, you have what is necessary to take the first step. And once you're on your way, you'll find and develop what you need to continue.

Move confidently forward in the direction you know you must go. Start with what you have, and you'll grow into whatever you need.

Ralph Marston
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"Kids ought to have two bicycles, one to ride and one to rent."

Jim Rohn

2008-08-25T11:58:00.000-05:00

"Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries."

Corita Kent
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A rolled-up ball of yarn does not take up much space--it sits, ready to be used when needed. It gets unrolled a little bit at a time--just as much as is needed and no more. But a ball of yarn that gets unraveled can be strewn across an entire room. It becomes a jumbled mass, entangled and confusing. When we live our lives a day at a time, we are like that rolled-up ball of yarn. Our thoughts, feelings, and skills are ready to be used as they are needed. But when we worry, our spirit becomes a jumbled mass of yarn. We get ahead of and behind ourselves--our thoughts are scattered and often our feelings are confused. Worry adds clutter and confusion to life. What is most helpful is to put the worry away--to roll up the ball of yarn and bring ourselves into the present moment. In this way, we stand ready for each new stitch--and we will never be given more than we are able to handle.
Hazelden Foundation
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"Your mental energy is limited by your physical energy. How do you develop more energy of all kinds? You start by putting your body in top physical condition. Unless you do that, all your other activities won't help much--you'll be stuck with the mental and emotional energy that you have now."

Tom Hopkins
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There is widespread and persistent goodness in this world. There is so much in fact that we take it for granted all too often. Certainly there are dangers and challenges to be considered on a daily basis. We cannot ignore them. We must stay ever vigilant and mindful of their presence. And yet for the most part, life is awash with positive possibilities, many of which are manifest day after day after glorious day.

The bad things make the news precisely because they are so out of the ordinary. The good things are so thoroughly ingrained in our lives that we sometimes barely notice them.

Yet that goodness persists, even in the face of extreme challenges. The more you appreciate all the good things in your life, the more strength you'll have to overcome even the most difficult of those challenges.

Don't just count your blessings. Live your blessings today, tomorrow, in every moment and in every situation. Honor and respect the very real, the very powerful goodness in your life and in your world by making the best of everything that comes your way.

Ralph Marston
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"Success… My nomination for the single most important ingredient is energy will directed." Louis Lundborg

2008-08-04T09:58:00.000-05:00

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

Aristotle
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Pretty Please

(With Sugar on Top)

My daughter Kelsey isn't quite four yet. She is a wonderful girl and I love her dearly. She is, however, sometimes, a little bossy. With a demanding tone she will declare what will happen next. With emphasis she will tell me what to do. These aren't behaviors her mother and I want to become habits. Not only that, but they just don't sit very well with me!

Thankfully, others have told us that when she is with them, she is very polite and well mannered. This is a relief, but doesn't reduce our angst about her behavior. Last week, as a way to positively reinforce the behaviors we are looking for, I tried something new.

Word of the Week

Last week, I declared that "Please" was the "Word of the Week." My intent was to remind all of us in the house of the importance of using the word please. I vowed in the presence of Parker (age 9) and Kelsey that I would be reminding them of the word, that they would be praised for using it, and that I was going to work on using it more as well.

I was proud of my idea, and the approach did raise awareness somewhat, but can you guess what the "Word of the Week" is this week? (Yep, it is still please!) So we are making progress, but we aren't there yet. All of us can improve-the 39 year old and 3 year alike.

An Early Lesson

Saying "please" and "thank you" are two of the first phrases we teach children. We do this because they are important phrases that represent basic values. I recently wrote an essay about "thank you," and now I find myself focusing on "please." Perhaps I'm a slow learner if I'm still trying to learn these "childhood lessons."

I can remember when Parker was little, taking him to visit his great grandparents the first time after he could talk. One of the last things I told him before we went inside was, "Remember to say please." In some odd way, Parker saying "please" was supposed to prove I was doing my job as a parent. Perhaps you haven't felt that feeling, but I am sure you have seen praise lavished on little ones when they've said "please." "Please" is definitely an early lesson engrained in all of us.

The Importance of Asking

"Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; he who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8

You have to ask in order to receive. Without asking, you cannot get. This profound truth can be stated in a variety of ways, but the different words don't change the message. Being willing to ask is important to our development, our comfort, and to reaching our goals, both large and small.

When we are teaching children about saying "please" it is in the context of asking. We don't just say please, we add the word to some sort of request. We tell them that saying please is the nice thing to do. We are really trying to teach them that it is more polite, more socially acceptable to say "please" than to simply demand that their wish is granted.

Adding the Sugar

Asking with a "please" makes any request a bit easier to receive, it is like putting a little sugar with the request. Maybe that is why when we are little, and we REALLY want something we embellish "please" to something like the title of this essay. We learn that the "verbal sugar" of "please" can help us, just like Mary Poppins taught us about taking medicine-"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way."

So we are teaching children that "please" is not only the nice thing to do, but also that it will probably help us get what we ask for. (Have you ever withheld something from a child until they said the magic word of please?)

More than a Word

Yes, I am trying to teach my children to use the word, but beyond the vocabulary lesson, I want them to learn the attitude of graciousness. It goes beyond being polite. It goes beyond being pragmatic. Saying "please" is both of those things, and important for both reasons. But beyond that, when we say "please" in a spirit of gratefulness and with the willingness to offer help in return, then we are not only being polite and pragmatic, but authentic, genuine, and communicating with another person at a "heart level", rather than "head level."

Final Thoughts

The practice and attitude of saying "please" is a powerful one. That is why we teach it so early. I urge you to think about your habits and attitudes around this important phrase. Ask yourself the following questions. How consistently do I use "please?" How often do I type it in an email or letter? How consistently do I include "please" in requests to those closest to me?

Will you take the time to think about these things today, please?

Yours in Learning,

Kevin Eikenberry
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"Dreams are simply the emotions of the heart that have been painted into words..."

Doug Firebaugh
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Enjoy Being You

Rather than chasing after what you don't have, use your energy to more fully express what you do have. Instead of striving to be someone you are not, instead of conforming yourself to the world's idea of success, create and live your own definition of success.

Be who you are.

That's where your most valuable treasure is.

Set free that beautiful, worthy person inside of you. Free yourself from worrying about what others might think, or say, or do. Instead, focus on being the best, most authentic manifestation of you that you can possibly be.

You are complete and whole right now. There is no need to prove anything to anyone. There is no need to wait for happiness or fulfillment. They are yours when you decide to live them. This is your moment in which to live with all the richness you can imagine.

Enjoy being you, right now. There is so much you have to contribute, just by living the one-of-a-kind life that is your destiny. It's more than OK to be you. It's the very best and most genuinely fulfilling thing you can do. Enjoy giving your own special gifts to life, and lift yourself up along with the world around you.

Author Unknown
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"You are 100% emotional in everything you think, feel and decide. You decide emotionally and justify logically."

Brian Tracy

2008-07-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

Teach our children to have faith in humanity and to know the dignity of all human beings. Reaffirm America's basic belief that all people are created equal - that we all are children of the Universe. There is no nonsense about that – it is universally obvious and fundamentally American.

Everett Woodman
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JUST PUT ME ON THE AIR

by Ron White

It was May 2000 and I was in the seminar business and discouraged. His name was Mr. Palmer and he was a 75 year old wealthy real estate mogul and my mentor.

"Mr. Palmer, I am so down. I have made some many mistakes and my business is in pieces."

"Ron, I make mistake everyday...because I Do Something everyday." I looked up from my drink and saw Mr. Palmer smiling. He then asked, "Do you follow me?"

I did. Loud and clear. He was saying, "Who cares if you made some mistakes. Mistakes only signify action and that is much better than inaction." It was barely 12 months later and I knew I could break a memory record in the Guinness Book of World Records. It was set by a man who memorized 27 numbers in 1 minute and 21 seconds. I knew I could beat that. Although, I never had. I persuaded FOX television to let me attempt it on live television.

My best friend Brian helped me practice all week. He would call out 28 random numbers and at the same time he held a stopwatch and clocked me. Not once did I get it right. It was very frustrating.

Brian asked me, "You do realize you are going on FOX this week and you have never gotten this right. Are you sure you want to do this? It is live TV." "I will get it right when it counts." I said, nervously hoping I was right. The day before the show aired the FOX producers had me come to the studio to practice and I didn't get it right then either. The producers looked at me and said, "You don't have to go on tomorrow, if this is something you can't do." My response without hesitation was, "Just put me on the air." She sighed and shook her head as if I was about to bring down the entire FOX network if I failed. What the producers didn't understand is that I now lived my life by the Mr. Palmer philosophy and that philosophy says, "Who Cares!"

March 1, 2001 the FOX hosts read out 28 digits and I nailed it with 6 seconds to spare! I had never gotten it right, however when it was clutch I nailed it! In baseball terms it was the bottom of the ninth, the bases were loaded, down by three runs with two strikes and I knocked it out of the park. The amazing thing is that I had never done it before!

My friends, family, neighbors and the bank teller all high-fived me that day. Five years later, I still get speaking engagements because of that 1 minute and 15 seconds of my life.

If I had given into inaction and fear, I wouldn't have much of the income that I do today. And if I had failed, according to Mr. Palmer... "Who Cares!!"

This "Who Cares!!" philosophy that I learned from Mr. Palmer, not only causes me to risk in my life. It also makes me a fun speaker. I am not on the platform wondering what everyone thinks. I am having a Blast and it comes through. And you know what? People buy into what I am saying because they can tell it is really me and not a phony persona. However, they only see that because I believe in the "Who Cares!!" philosophy of Mr. Palmer.

I encourage you to live your life by the "Who Cares!!" philosophy and be willing to make a fool out of yourself (even if it means on live television in front of the world). If you are willing to do that...I can guarantee you massive success even if you fail in your initial goal.
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The thoughts that come often unsought, and, as it were, drop into the mind, are commonly the most valuable of any we have.

John Locke
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"Inner Strength is Just a Decision Away"

You probably can think of someone whom you admire and respect. Perhaps you admire her ambition to learn new skills or her perserveranceto overcome difficulties and hardships. Why can't that person be you?

It can and the key is willpower and self-discipline. You have it in you even if you don't think so.

Each one of us is confronted and tempted by an endless stream of temptations, many of which aren't that important. When you learn to refuse to satisfy all of them, and choosing only to satisfy those that are in line with your priorities you sharpen your willpower and strengthen your self-discipline.

Try it. You'll quickly become the woman to admire!

~Meditations for Women~
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"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability."

Zig Ziglar

2008-07-17T23:21:00.000-05:00

"How do you build a bridge between age 12 and age 40? By remembering."

Jim Rohn
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CENTER ON PRINCIPLES

by Stephen R. Covey

Real character development begins with the humble recognition that we are not in charge, that principles ultimately govern. I don't talk much about ethics and values because to me those words imply situational behaviors, subjective beliefs, social mores, cultural norms, or relative truths. I prefer to talk about universal principles and natural laws that are more absolute. You may think that it's just a matter of semantics and that when most people talk about values they really mean these universal principles.

But I see a clear difference between principles and values. Hitler was value-driven; Saddam Hussein was value-driven. Every person and organization is driven by what they value. But they aren't necessarily ethical or principle-centered.

The Humility of Principles

The key to quality of life is to be centered on principles. We're not in control; principles are in control. We're arrogant when we think we are in control. Yes, we may control our actions, but not the consequences of our actions. Those are controlled by principles, by natural laws.

Building character and creating quality of life is a function of aligning our beliefs and behaviors with universal principles. These principles are impersonal, external, factual, objective, and self-evident. They operate regardless of our awareness of them, or our obedience to them. If your current lifestyle is not in alignment with these principles, then you might trade a value-based map for a principle-centered compass. When you recognize that external verities and realities ultimately govern, you might willingly subordinate your values to them and align your roles and goals, plans, and activities with them. But doing so often takes a crisis: your company's downsizing; your job's on the line; your relationship with the boss goes sour; you lose a major account; your marriage is threatened; your financial problems peak; or you're told you have just a few months to live. In the absence of such a catalytic crisis, we tend to live in numbed complacency so busy doing good, easy, or routine things that we don't even stop to ask ourselves if we're doing what really matters. The good, then, becomes the enemy of the best.

Humility is the mother of all virtues: the humble in spirit progress and are blessed because they willingly submit to higher powers and try to live in harmony with natural laws and universal principles. Courage is the father of all virtues: we need great courage to lead our lives by correct principles and to have integrity in the moment of choice. When we set up our own self-generated or socially-validated value systems and then develop our missions and goals based on what we value, we tend to become laws unto ourselves, proud and independent. Pride hopes to impress; humility seeks to bless.

Just because we value a thing doesn't mean that having it will enhance our quality of life. No "quality movement" in government, business, or education will succeed unless based on "true north" principles. And yet we see leaders who cling to their current style based on self-selected values and bad habits even as their "ship" is sinking when they could be floating safely on the life raft of principles. Nothing sinks people faster in their careers than arrogance.

Arrogance shouts "I know best." In the uniform of arrogance, we fumble and falter pride comes and goes before the fall. But dressed in humility, we make progress. As the character Indiana Jones learned in The Last Crusade, "The penitent man will pass." In pride, we often sow one thing and expect to reap another. Many of our paradigms and the processes and habits that grow out of them never produce the results we expect because they are based on illusions, advertising slogans, program-of-the-month training, and personality-based success strategies. Quality of life can't grow out of illusion. So how do we align our lives with "true north" realities that govern quality of life?

Four Human Endowments

As human beings, we have four unique endowments: self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination that not only separate us from the animal world, but also help us to distinguish between reality and illusion, to transform the clock into a compass, and to align our lives with the extrinsic realities that govern quality of life. Self-awareness enables us to examine our paradigms, to look at our glasses as well as through them, to think about our thoughts, to become aware of the psychic programs that are in us, and to enlarge the separation between stimulus and response.

Self-aware, we can take responsibility for reprogramming or re-scripting ourselves out of the stimulus-response mode. Many movements in psychology, education, and training are focused on an enlarged self-consciousness. Most popular self-help literature also focuses upon this capacity. Self-awareness, however, is only one of our unique endowments.

Conscience puts us in touch with something within us even deeper than our thoughts and something outside us more reliable than our values. It connects us with the wisdom of the ages and the wisdom of the heart. It's an internal guidance system that allows us to sense when we act or even contemplate acting in a way that's contrary to our deepest values and "true north" principles. Conscience is universal. By helping companies and individuals develop mission statements, I have learned that what is most personal is most general. No matter what people's religions, cultures, or backgrounds are, their mission statements all deal with the same basic human needs to live (physical and financial), to love (social), to learn (educational), and to leave a legacy (spiritual).

Independent will is our capacity to act, the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to re-write our scripts, to act based on principles rather than reacting based on emotions, moods, or circumstances. While environmental or genetic influences may be very powerful, they do not control us. We're not victims. We're not the product of our past. We are the product of our choices. We are "response-able," meaning we are able to choose our response. This power to choose is a reflection of our independent will.

Creative imagination empowers us to create beyond our present reality. It enables us to write personal mission statements, set goals, plan meetings, or visualize ourselves living our mission statements even in the most challenging circumstances. We can imagine any scenario we want for the future. If our imagination has to go through the straightjacket of our memory, what is imagination for? Memory is limited. It's finite; it deals with the past. Imagination is infinite; it deals with the present and the future, with potentiality, with vision and mission and goals with anything that is not now but can be. The man-on-the-street approach to success is to work harder, to give it the "old college try." But unless willpower is matched with creative imagination, these efforts will be weak and ineffective.

Nurturing Our Unique Gifts

Enhancing these endowments requires us to nurture and exercise them continuously. Sharpening the saw once a week or once a month just isn't enough. It's too superficial. It's like a meal. Yesterday's meal will not satisfy today's hunger. Last Sunday's big meal won't prepare me for this Thursday's ethical challenge. I will be much better prepared if I meditate every morning and visualize myself dealing with that challenge with authenticity, openness, honesty, and with as much wisdom as I can bring to bear on it.

Here are four ways to nurture your unique endowments.

Nurture self-awareness by keeping a personal journal. Keeping a personal journal a daily in-depth analysis and evaluation of your experiences is a high-leverage activity that increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.

Educate your conscience by learning, listening, and responding. Most of us work and live in environments that are rather hostile to the development of conscience. To hear the conscience clearly often requires us to be reflective or meditative a condition we rarely choose or find. We're inundated by activity, noise, conditioning, media messages, and flawed paradigms that dull our sensitivity to that quiet inner voice that would teach us of "true north" principles and our own degree of congruency with them. I've heard executives say that they can't win this battle of conscience because expediencies require lies, cover-ups, deceit, or game playing. That's just part of the job, they say. I disagree. I think such rationalization undermines trust within their cultures. If you have back-room manipulation and bad mouthing, you will have a low-trust culture.

A life of total integrity is the only one worth striving for. Granted, it's a struggle. Some trusted advisors, PR agents, accountants, legal counselors might say, "This will be political suicide," or "This will be bad for our image, and so let's cover up or lie." You have to look at each case on its own merit. No case is black and white.

It takes real judgment to know what you should do. You may feel that you operate "between a rock and a hard place." Still, with a well-educated conscience or internal compass, you will rarely, if ever, be in a situation where you only have one bad option. You will always have choices. If you wisely exercise your unique endowments, some moral option will be open to you.

So much depends on how well you educate your conscience, your internal compass. When my kids were in athletics, they paid the price to get their bodies coordinated with their minds. You've got to do the same with your own conscience regularly. The more internal uncertainty you feel, the larger the grey areas will be. You will always have some grey areas, particularly at the extremity of your education and experience. And to grow, you need to go to that extremity and learn to make those choices based on what you honestly believe to be the right thing to do.

Nurture independent will by making and keeping promises. One of the best ways to strengthen our independent will is to make and keep promises. Each time we do, we make deposits in our personal integrity account the amount of trust we have in ourselves, in our ability to walk our talk. To build personal integrity, start by making and keeping small promises. Take it a step and a day at a time.

Develop creative imagination through visualization. Visualization, a high-leverage mental exercise used by world-class athletes and performers, may also be used to improve your quality of life. For example, you might visualize yourself in some circumstance that would normally create discomfort or pain. In your mind's eye, instead of seeing yourself react as you normally do, see yourself acting on the basis of the principles and values in your mission statement. The best way to predict your future is to create it.

Roots Yield Fruits

With the humility that comes from being principle-centered, we can better learn from the past, have hope for the future, and act with confidence, not arrogance, in the present. Arrogance is the lack of self-awareness; blindness; an illusion; a false form of self-confidence; and a false sense that we're somehow above the laws of life. Real confidence is anchored in a quiet assurance that if we act based on principles, we will produce quality-of-life results. It's confidence born of character and competence. Our security is not based on our possessions, positions, credentials, or on comparisons with others; rather, it flows from our own integrity to "true north" principles.

I confess that I struggle with total integrity and do not always "walk my talk." I find that it's easier to talk and teach than to practice what I preach. I've come to realize that I must commit to having total integrity to be intre, their mission statements all deal with the same basic human needs to live (physical and financial), to love (social), to learn (educational), and to leave a legacy (spiritual).

Independent will is our capacity to act, the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to re-write our scripts, to act based on principles rather than reacting based on emotions, moods, or circumstances. While environmental or genetic influences may be very powerful, they do not control us. We're not victims. We're not the product of our past. We are the product of our choices. We are "response-able," meaning we are able to choose our response. This power to choose is a reflection of our independent will.

Creative imagination empowers us to create beyond our present reality. It enables us to write personal mission statements, set goals, plan meetings, or visualize ourselves living our mission statements even in the most challenging circumstances. We can imagine any scenario we want for the future. If our imagination has to go through the straightjacket of our memory, what is imagination for? Memory is limited. It's finite; it deals with the past. Imagination is infinite; it deals with the present and the future, with potentiality, with vision and mission and goals with anything that is not now but can be. The man-on-the-street approach to success is to work harder, to give it the "old college try." But unless willpower is matched with creative imagination, these efforts will be weak and ineffective.
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"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Standing for what you believe in,
Regardless of the odds against you,
and the pressure that tears at your resistance,
...means courage
Keeping a smile on your face,
When inside you feel like dying,
For the sake of supporting others,
...means strength

Stopping at nothing,
And doing what's in your heart,
You know is right,
...means determination
Doing more than is expected,
To make another's life a little more bearable,
Without uttering a single complaint,
...means compassion

Helping a friend in need,
No matter the time or effort,
To the best of your ability,
...means loyalty
Giving more than you have,
And expecting nothing
But nothing in return,
...means selflessness
Holding your head high,
And being the best you know you can be
When life seems to fall apart at your feet,
Facing each difficulty with the confidence
That time will bring you better tomorrow's,
And never giving up,
...means confidence.
~author unknown~
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"Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push - a smile. A word of optimism and hope, a 'you can do it!' when things are tough."

Richard De Vos

2008-07-13T21:25:00.002-05:00

so it's been a while since i added to this blog, i promise i will try and do better this month!

we spent a weekend in texas at a henry family reunion, then lynn's daughter Jessica and her husband Brandon came and spent the week of the 4th with us. we had SO much fun going to a waterpark and fixing and eating barbeque, and discovering ACRES of fresh blackberries we have been picking out on the back of our property. life is good!

2008-07-13T21:22:00.001-05:00

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek."

Mario Andretti
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"Cats, Kids, Cults and Katrina - A Lesson in Compliance"

by Blair Warren

My cat loves to sleep on my chest. She'll stay there for hours unless I put my hands on her as if I'm holding her down. If I do that, she'll growl, squirm and eventually leave.

My son will be starting high school next year at his favorite school in our city. I recently asked him where a friend of his would be going to school. He said she lived on the border between two districts and could choose between two different schools. Then he said, "I wish I had a choice." "But I thought you wanted to go to MacArthur High School." "I do," he said. "I just wish I had a choice."

Years ago I attended an introductory seminar put on by a cult-like organization. The first hour was devoted to asking each attendee one question: why are you here? People said things such as: "I'm here because a friend recommended it." "I've heard good things about your organization." "I saw what you did for a co-worker and I wanted to learn more." None of these answers were sufficient. They would accept only one answer: "I am here because I choose to be here." People who did not ultimately agree with that statement were asked to leave.

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, our family, like many others, reached out and offered assistance. A few days later, I watched an interview with one of Katrina's victims. She was understandably shaken and upset. Eventually, she started complaining that people weren't doing enough to help. She said the government and the people in the rest of the country were practically ignoring them.

While I still felt compassion for her, I also felt a touch of anger and resentment. We had helped and were planning to do more. Now, I wasn't so sure. Later, I saw an interview with another of Katrina's victims. She, too, was shaken and upset. But as the interview was ending, this woman begged the news anchor if she could say just one more thing. He agreed.

She turned to the camera with tears in her eyes and thanked everyone who was helping the people of New Orleans. She said she realized they didn't have to do that and that she was overwhelmed with all the support she and her family were receiving. I immediately wrote another check.

Why have I shared these stories with you? Because within each is an incredibly powerful insight into persuasion. An insight that is too often overlooked. Think about it: My cat didn't want to leave. My cat wanted to be able to leave.

My son doesn't want to go to another high school. He just wishes he had the choice to do so.

Cults realize that commitments made in the context of choice are deeper and more durable than those made under pressure. By having attendees make a conscious choice to be in the room, they ensure that those who stay for the introduction are more likely to stay for the indoctrination.

I wanted to give to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. But I wanted to do so freely. The moment I was made to feel guilty and told I had to do more, I shut down. But the moment I was thanked for my previous efforts and assured that I didn't have to do what I had already done, I wanted to do more. And I did.

In our quest to gain compliance, we would be wise to remember that sometimes the best way to get people to do things is to remind them that they don't have to.
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"Commitment doesn't guarantee success, but lack of commitment guarantees you'll fall far short of your potential."

Denis Waitley
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Whatever you choose

Any day can be special when you decide that it is. Any place can be special when you make it so. The smallest, most ordinary moments can bring the biggest, most extraordinary rewards to your life. It's all a matter of what you make of those moments.

The day can be bright whether the sun is shining or not. For you can choose to make it so.

The only thing that happiness requires is a choice. It is a choice that can be made anytime, at any place.

There's no need to wait for conditions to be perfect. You can fashion a perfectly wonderful moment out of whatever conditions you come upon.

Go ahead and see what you can make out of this very moment, this very day. You'll see that it is whatever you choose.

Ralph Marston
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"A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision."

Nido Qubein

2008-06-26T22:54:00.000-05:00

"Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating."

Denis Waitley
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ACCEPTING REJECTION

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Most people tend to wilt when they are confronted with rejection. Rejection makes them feel afraid or angry, worthless or shameful, self-critical or self-deprecating. People who experience accepting rejection often remain shy, withdrawn in social situations, and feeling inferior (or "less than") to other people.

Most of us learn how to cope with rejection when we are very young. At that time we are still dependent on others for our survival and for fulfilling most of our needs. We are dependent on others whenever we are unable to cope with life on our own, unable to adequately meet our own needs, unable to solve problems effectively, and unable to protect ourselves from threats. When we are dependent, rejection is a genuine threat to our well-being. Under those conditions of dependency, it is very appropriate to feel afraid, angry, or helpless when rejected.

Having assumed enough responsibility for their self-care and self-protection to adequately function independently, adults may still experience those same old feelings when other people reject them. When others tell them "no," remove themselves from the relationship, tell them they're fired, or otherwise reject them, they still feel those archaic emotions they felt as a child.

Learning to accept rejection may be a difficult process. It is a skill most of us must relearn after we are adults. Like all new skills, it requires new definitions, new ways of thinking about events and new behaviors to practice.

One hint about learning to accept rejection is: acknowledge that rejection is a natural part of the human decision-making process. When someone wants to make a decision of importance, s/he would do well to seek out many possible solutions and reject most of them; seek out lots of advice and reject most of it; or learn many points of view and reject most of them. Rejecting alternatives narrows the field of possibilities to one or two options. It makes decisions more accurate and less cumbersome.

Rejection increases the value of any given accepted alternative. When car-shopping, if you buy the first one you see, you value it less than if you have looked over 30 different automobiles and rejected 29 of them, and purchased the one for you. After you have rejected the 29, you will value more highly the one you finally buy.

When you remember the above processes, creatively coping with rejection becomes easier. If you realize that when most people say "no" to you, they are actually in the decision-making mode, and they are attempting to narrow the field. Their decision-making process is not under your control. They have free choice the same as you. Some sales people think that many decision makers feel compelled to say "no" at least eight times before they feel comfortable saying "yes." The sooner they get past the first eight "no's" the sooner they will feel free to say "yes."

In order to learn to accept rejection more easily, the most crucial distinctions you can make are between "rejection" and "refusal" and between rejecting of the person vs. rejecting their behavior. You need to be clear about interpreting as personal rejection merely the refusal of what you may be offering or wanting. You may need to realize that when others say "no" to you in some manner, they may be rejecting your current behavior and not you as a person. Most often others reject what we want from them or what we are doing, rather than rejecting us...the persons we are.

Not taking rejection personally is the key element in learning how to accept rejection. Certainly that is easier said than done, but with practice, we can all learn it.
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"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."

Will Smith
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Confidence

Confidence comes easily and naturally for some, for many others it seems impossible. The good news is that it is a habit that can be learned by anyone. It will take some degree of training, and practice, but who would deny it's worth?

"The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. Without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience - true life is impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

Using autosuggestion, by repeatedly filling the mind with positive and pleasant thoughts, can result in a profound positive outcome. Picture in your mind, as vividly as possible, a scene in which you are performing very successfully. Picture this again and again so that your mind is totally occupied with confidence. This will push out the doubt, as there is no room for both. Every time a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with the pleasant success thought.

Affirmations are a similar technique that can work wonders. This is the repeating of positive words about yourself, concerning what you wish to do. The words cram the mind with confident thoughts that have a direct effect on how you act. As an example, if you have to make a presentation - "I am doing everything slowly, calmly, surely. I am relaxed and breathing deeply and easily. I feel confident about this. I am in control. I have nothing to lose. They like me. I feel good and I am comfortable with these people. I am concentrating on them, not on myself. They are here because they want to be."

"They can because they think they can."

- Vergil (BC)Ken McIsaac
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"That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."

Henry David Thoreau

2008-06-13T19:05:00.000-05:00

"The substance of your communication is the response it generates."
Tony Jeary
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The Lessons of 100

This is the 100th Vantagepoints essay I will write and publish. It is also the last essay that will be included in my first book. In preparing to write this essay and in preparing the book for publication, I have read the other 99 essays in a relatively short period of time. One would hope that this 100th essay would be significantly better than the first one I wrote.

I mean, if I shoot 100 free throws, or repeat the Gettysburg Address 100 times, or practice saying Happy Birthday in French 100 times, I would expect to be better at those things at the end of those repetitions than when I started.

I believe that this is true of my writing. I am a better writer now than when I started (whew!).

Beyond the individual lessons I have written about in each essay, there are other things I have learned through this writing journey, and it seems fitting to share them with you. I don't share them to gloat, as in "see what I've learned." I share them because I believe you can learn from my lessons (which is part of what Vantagepoints is about) and I share them because in reflecting on and writing about them, the lessons become more a part of me (which is another part of what Vantagepoints is about).

Everyday

The subtitle of the book is "Finding Learning Opportunities in Everyday Life Situations." I have learned that there are lessons for us everyday. In order to find those lessons, we must expect them, which demands that we keep our eyes, ears and minds open for them. Too many of us on too many days, move from morning to night, from meeting to meeting or task to task, completing the routine of life as if it is only that; a routine.

Like the parent who asks their children at the end of a school day, "What did you learn today?", we must ask ourselves this question. We expect learning opportunities for the kids each day - that is why they are in school after all. It is the same for us. As human learning beings, the reason we live each day is in part to learn.

I have found that the opportunities for us to learn are all around us in both the unique experiences, and in the normal route we drive each morning or the way we make our coffee.

The lessons are waiting for us around every corner and in every conversation. Everyday.

Reflection

While looking for the lessons is a necessary first step, it isn't enough. We must take time to reflect on those experiences. Without open eyes and ears we don't have experiences to reflect on, but without time to analyze and think about those experiences, we won't harvest the rich lessons available to us.

A military unit debriefs events after a mission. A sports team watches the game film. A skilled trainer asks people a well developed series of questions after any learning experience. Why? Because they know that by reviewing the experience, there is a chance to learn from that experience, gain more knowledge from it, and be more successful or productive in the future.

This is what we must do. We must reflect on our experiences in order to gain the most from them.

Writing 100 of these essays has forced me to reflect - after all, I needed to find something to write about each month. What I have learned over the years though is that reflection, like any other skill, develops with practice.

In the quiet moments of your day, think about your recent experiences. Ask yourself what went well, how you were surprised, and what was different. Ask yourself how those experiences relate to other recent experiences and what you can learn from the combinations. Then ask the most important question - what will you do differently, with your new knowledge and understanding.

Retelling Stories

Stories are powerful ways to share a message. That is why we watch movies and read novels. That is why the stories I tell during a speech are among the most powerful things I can do. Hearing or reading someone else's story can be very useful. It can engage us, prompt us, and teach us.

But this isn't my lesson.

Yes, stories are powerful. But the most powerful stories are the stories we tell. In telling our stories we are reflecting on our lessons. By telling our stories we understand them better than we did before we told them.

It is what I have now done 100 times. Experienced something(s), reflected on the experience, found some lessons, and told the story. Each link in this learning chain is helpful, but the telling of the story completes the loop. They typically make a lot of sense in my head, but until I tell them (in my case write them) the lessons often are vague and disconnected.

Something magical happens when we talk about a concept - we begin to solidify our understanding and truly make sense of what has been in our heads.

I have learned that stories aren't just powerful to read or hear, they are powerful to tell.

Action

The theme and lesson that comes through most of these essays is "take action." Nothing happens until we take action.

I have ended each essay by encouraging you to do something. Through my example, I hope you have taken my advice (more than once). But I can't take the action for you.

There are two things I know for sure. You maximize the value of what you learn by putting it into action. And no one can do that for you.

Your lessons await you, and I urge you to discover them. Take the time to think through your experiences and create stories to help you make the learning more concrete and real. Most of all, take what you have learned and put it into action.

When I do those things I am most successful.

When you do those things you will be most successful too.

Life is happening all around you. The learning awaits.

Yours in Learning,

Kevin Eikenberry
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"Today's audiences are stimulation junkies with short attention spans."

Patricia Fripp
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The Touchstone

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.

He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's asy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

Author Unknown
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"Accept complete responsibility both for understanding and for being understood."

Brian Tracy

2008-06-05T11:41:00.000-05:00

"Example has more followers than reason. We unconsciously imitate what pleases us, and approximate to the characters we most admire."

Christian Nevell Bovee
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TEN ATTITUDES OF TOP-ACHIEVERS

by Brian Tracy

If you think the same way as the top achievers think, you can begin to get the same results they do. Here are ten psychological and practical ways to mirror the attitudes of top-achievers.

1. See yourself as a consultant rather than a salesperson. Believe that you are a problem-solver with regard to your product and how the client can best use it.

2. Become a doctor of selling. Act in the best interests of your "patients" and have a high code of ethics.

3. See yourself as the president of your own sales corporation. Accept 100 percent responsibility for your results.

4. Commit yourself to being the best in your field. Dedicate yourself to lifelong learning.

5. Be ambitious, hungry, and determined to use selling as a stepping-stone to the success you want in life.

6. Have integrity. Be honest with yourself and others.

7. Engage in thorough preparation prior to every call.

8. Be an excellent listener; be extremely customer-focused.

9. Have tremendous courage. Be willing to face your fears of rejection and failure, and overcome them.

10. Be highly persistent. Start your workday earlier, work harder, and stay longer. To make these changes work you must walk, talk, and behave consistently with them every hour of every day.
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"If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you'll achieve the same results."

Anthony Robbins
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Responsibility

"I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." - William Henley (1849-1903)

Our lives are only as good as we decide to make them. We should make short and long range plans and then follow them through, reviewing them as we go. It is our design and determination that decide our destiny, and this is our responsibility. When things are not right, we should blame nobody, for that only dodges the problems that lie within us and causes us to fail again next time. Examine your own actions and decide how things will be.

"Let him who would move the world, first move himself." - Socrates (BC)

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be." - Thomas Kempis (1380-1471)

We should make a special effort to be that which we want others to think we are. We must do our duties, complete our tasks, be kind and honest. "It is not alone what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere (1622-1673)

Be an individual and do what you believe in. Take responsibility for your actions. Take a good look at yourself as if you were someone else conducting a review. Anything you want to change?

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Not in the clamor of the crowded street, Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat. - Henry Longfellow (1807-1882)

Ken N McIsaac
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"The more you teach positive ideas to others, the better you learn them yourself."

Brian Tracy

2008-06-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others.

Rober Schuller
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Processing Negative Emotions - Emotional Intelligence

While we all, at some level, understand that we're motivated by pain and pleasure, it's amazing how we can learn, especially in our Western culture, to ignore the concomitant fact that moving toward pleasure makes us feel good, and is good for our health, while moving toward pain does the opposite.

Yes, "no pain no gain" has its place. It fits for cognitive learning experiences, like struggling to learn a new language, or new theory; and physical endeavors, like weight lifting and increasing your ability to jog, but when it comes to emotional experiences, we don't benefit from the negative. It takes a tremendous toll.

One of the immediate goals of emotional intelligence is to increase your self-awareness. Not to the point where you spend all your time analyzing yourself and looking inward, but enough so you can assess quickly your emotional states, and, more importantly, the cost they have for you.

WHAT DO YOU FEEL?

At the rudimentary level, you can learn by asking yourself several times a day, "How am I feeling?" Don't answer it superficially, but rather at the level of how you're feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

In this way, you can learn the physiological signals to your own emotions. For instance, I have talked with people who didn't realize their stomach was "in knots" because it always had been, and that's the way they thought it should be. Or you may not connect that sudden pain in your neck with the proper antecedent. I remember driving back to town with a friend after a weekend away, and as we got closer to home, she started talking about her boyfriend, and not in very positive ways. As she did, she started stroking, twisting and 'cracking' her neck, which was evidently getting tighter due to the fact that her boyfriend was sounding to me, at any rate, like the proverbial "pain in the neck," though she wasn't aware of it until I put the two together for her. Up to that point in the trip she had been pain-free. This is not a good sign re: the relationship!

WHERE DO YOU FEEL IT?

When you begin to recognize the physical signs quickly, you can do what it takes to protect yourself. We say that certain people "drain us," and this means drain important energy we could be using elsewhere to better advantage.

WHY DO YOU FEEL IT?

The next step is to ask yourself WHY you feel that way. Emotions are often complex and when you learn to sort through them, you find that some variables that contribute to them can be changed or avoided, such as being too hot, or too lonely; but that in other cases, there's nothing you can change, such as a person or situation that continually drains your energy. No matter how else you're feeling, even if you're completely rested and feeling great, you find this person or situation always has the same result. In that case, if the toll is high, and you pay the price every time, the wise choice would be to eliminate this situation or person.

In this way you can identify which situation and people bring you pleasure, and which bring you pain, and make wise decisions.

In the case of my friend in the car, she might have had that experience also if her boyfriend were currently facing a bypass or cataract surgery. You need to be able to sort out what's causing what. Is it pain about someone you love, or is someone you love causing you pain?

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

This is important because being able to experience and process a negative emotion gives you more confidence in your ability to manage them. The better you understand what's going on, the more you realize you have a choice. If you study how to process a certain negative emotion, such as anger, you'll come to know your trigger-points, and your patterns of response that aren't productive. These you can always change. You can also choose which things are worth the energy it takes, and the physical stress toll it takes, to get angry.

Understanding your ability to change things gives you personal power. You always have a choice. You have the option to avoid things that make you angry, to avoid criticizing yourself when you do feel angry, to learn how to calm yourself more quickly, to change how you respond when you get angry - both internally and externally - and to eliminate people who constantly make you angry.

The more you learn about emotions in general, and yours in particular, the more options you have. You will become less puzzled in the grip of an emotion, less rigid in your responses, and better able to think and respond (or not) rather than feel and react mindlessly. This makes you a full and complex human being, not an input-opereation-output machine.

We generally acquire more emotional intelligence throughout our lifetime, but it's not a given if you aren't processing and becoming aware. If you find yourself swamped by the same things over and over, take a look at what's going on, do some reading, and work with a coach.

If a certain situation always triggers a reaction from you that gets you in trouble, understand this is something you can change. You can learn to bring about a different outcome. After all, not everyone who gets angry hits someone, gets hot under the collar, shouts, becomes passively defiant, or sings a happy tune. Of all the responses out there that are possible, you can learn to choose the best one for you at the time.

© Copyright Susan Dunn All rights reserved.
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It's great to work with somebody who wants to do things differently.

Keith Bellows
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DISCIPLINE AND LOYALTY ARE TREMENDOUS

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

We live in a world where these two great words -- discipline and loyalty are becoming meaningless. Does this mean that they are worthless? On the contrary, they are becoming priceless qualities because they are so hard to develop in the first place. And should you be one of the fortunate few who by God's grace has caught the vision. Your battle has just begun because the greatest battle is to keep what you've learned through these two priceless qualities.

Discipline is that great quality few people use that enables them to be constructively busy all the time. Even in discouragement and defeat, discipline will rescue you and usher you to a new place to keep constructively busy while you forget about doubt, worry and self-pity. Oh, that more in this day would realize the absolute necessity of discipline and the degree of growth and happiness to be attained from it.

Most people think that loyalty is to a thing or to a person when actually it is really to one's own self. Some think that it is to a goal or an objective, but again it is to one's own convictions. If loyalty has to be earned then it is deserved and is hardy, more than devoted emotion based on a temporary feeling. No, loyalty is the character of a person who has given himself the task before him and he will always realize that out of a loyal heart will spring all the other virtues that make life one of depth and growth.

Tremendously, Charles "T" Jones
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"No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself."
Conrado I. Generoso

2008-05-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

"If you concentrate on the present, you eliminate what happened yesterday and any apprehension of what may happen tomorrow."

Denis Waitley
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Don't Take It Personally....in Advance!

"Pat" (not her real name; hence the clever quotation marks) :-), a wwi subscriber, is a consultant to hospitals. Her latest assignment was a large facility in the northeast. She was warned in advance by some of her fellow consultants at the firm where she's employed that "The people at _________ hospital are short and to the point, and can even be rude." So, she geared her mind to not take their attitude personally, do the best work she could, and just try and get along.

According to Pat, "They were somewhat like that from time to time but, since I had already set myself to not to let their behavior and attitude affect me, I was fine."

She continues, "I remained friendly despite everything going on around me. Though, really, it wasn't nearly the extent to what I was told it would be. When it was my last day there, they did not want me to leave. True, they weren't the friendliest and most outgoing people I'd ever met, but I can't say I experienced a whole lot of, what I'd call, rudeness. They were just very businesslike. So, the decision to not take their attitudes personally definitely paid off. I just stayed like me.

"It's not always easy to do that, though" Pat relates. "In my situation, I was warned in advance that these people were not easy to work with. I honestly think that the other people from my company who'd been there in the past went there with the wrong attitude or something. For example, as I was leaving I told everyone, 'Thank you for giving me the honor of working with you.' One person responded, 'You are the first person from your company who has ever thanked us!'"

According to Pat, she always does her best to not ever go into any kind of relationship allowing other's judgments to influence her. "But", as she says, "It's tempting. Sure, it's good to have a 'heads up', but I have found too many times that other people aren't always right about those they discuss."

I'm proud of the way Pat handled that. She certainly turned a potentially difficult situation into a positive one, and turned some potential enemies into present friends.

There are at least three lessons here we can learn:

#1 If you have reason to believe you are going to be met with attitudes less-than-civil, you can prepare for it in advance. You know it isn't you; it's them. And, as such, you need have no problem being offended or taking it personally.

* Good news. Even if you're not prepared for it, if it suddenly happens, you can just say to yourself, "IF I knew in they were going to be this way (in other words, it's not me - it's them), I would have set my mind to not take it personally. So, what's the difference if I knew it then or just find out now? It's still them - not me, and I still don't have to take it personally."

#2 Don't expect and accept that, just because you're told by others that certain people will behave a certain way, that they are going to fulfill that "prophecy." It might not even be "them" but the people who gave you the incorrect information.

#3 Best of both worlds: Expect the best (and by your attitude of positive expectation you'll usually receive the best) and be prepared for the worst, just in case. That way, you never have to be surprised, and you'll know there's nothing to take personally.

You might say, isn't that sort of like walking through life with "Rose-Colored Glasses."

Maybe, but so what? Sometimes Rose-Colored Glasses provide the most accurate view.

Keep the glasses on. They help us to see much better!

Bob Burg
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"The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; whereas the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything."

Thomas Carlyle
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Changing the past Do you ever wish that you could change the past? If you could change the past, you would be able to correct every mistake, avoid every accident, and never experience the pain of regret.

In fact, you can very easily change the past. You simply must do it before the past becomes the past.

This moment where you are right now will soon be in the past. So now is your golden opportunity to assure that it will be a past you'll be pleased to have.

With care and focus, with love, discipline and positive intention, you can do just that. You can change what will soon be the past into the best that it can be.

Imagine not having to wonder what would have happened if only you had been a little more careful, thoughtful or diligent. Imagine living your life with no regrets.

Imagine it, and know that right now is your chance to make it so. Use this moment to give yourself a past that won't need any changes at all.

Ralph Marston
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"It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles."

Claude M. Bristol